My heart beats double time as I leave my office for my next lecture, and I feel like a teenager asking his first crush out on a date. Who even am I?
Ethan: We have an away game in Coleridge tomorrow at 1pm. If you can be at my place by 9am, I can drop you off at the cabin and you can hang out. I’ll be back there by 3:30 at the latest.
Little Devil: Ooh cabin… sounds cosy. But does that mean I don’t get to watch Beckford’s hottest coach do his thing?
A thrill rolls through me at the thought of her in the crowd, her eyes firmly locked on me and not the players.
Ethan: As much as I’d love that, it’s too risky.
Little Devil: True. So, tell me… what does one pack for a night in a cosy cabin?
Ethan: You won’t need much
Little Devil: I’m intrigued. Will there be board games involved?
Ethan: We can do whatever you want.
If I’m being honest with myself, while the sex with Leni is off the charts hot, I’m looking forward to spending time with the little devil and getting to know her better… even if it’s dangerous. She’s a hurricane who blew into my life right when I needed her, creating chaos and upsetting my equilibrium, but in the best way possible.
Ever since the night I met her at Euphoria, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the girl with the bright, reckless smile that lights up a room, and her unapologetic, don’t give a fuck energy. She dragged me out of the dark rut I’d fallen into and gave my life a sense of purpose again. Then, when I got a glimpse of her unfiltered vulnerability, I was hooked. She’s a high I never want to come down from.
Despite her confident, upbeat personality, I can see the scars she hides behind her carefully crafted mask, and I want to be the man who breaks down her walls and builds her up again. I know it’ll hurt when I have to walk away in a couple of months, but selfishly, I don’t mind being a chapter in her story, even if it kills me that I can’t be the whole goddamn book.
Leni is young. She’s going to fall in love and have her heart broken many more times before she finds the one. She’s already had one arsehole try to steal her innocence, and another treat her like she’s worthless. Even though it kills me to know she’ll eventually be with someone else, I’ll show her what she deserves.
Little Devil: Kinky.
Little Devil: I have to go perform my monologue, but I’ll see you tomorrow.
Little Devil: Sir
Ethan:Break a leg.
I’m unable to wipe the stupid grin off my face as I cut across the lawn, acknowledging a couple of my players on their way to class. It’s been a while since I felt so… I don’t know. Free? Happy? I can’t quite describe this weightless feeling. At the same time, I have this surge of energy, like I just want to run.
After allowing my broken marriage to pull me into a wicked slump, I was sleepwalking through days with nothing but a mind full of static and a heart full of pain. Now, I finally feel like myself again. Not Ethan the husband, or Ethan the dad. Not Ethan the coach or professor. Just me—whoever that is.
I’m no longer a shadow, and it’s all thanks to Leni.
Chapter 25
Ethan
This stupid grin is permanently fixed on my face as I steal glances at Leni sitting in my passenger seat. She rocked up to my house with a black cap pulled low over her gorgeous face, her flaming-red hair falling in two loose braids on either side of her head. Looking ridiculously cute in her black leggings and oversized grey hoodie, she’s quieter than usual, and I’m not sure if it’s because of all the cloak and dagger we had to go through for this getaway or if she’s nervous about spending the weekend with me, but I try to draw her out.
“How did your monologue go?”
She glances at me, and it takes half a second before her mouth lifts into a smile—not her full beam, but a softer, more real one. The one I get when she’s not putting on her mask.
“You really want to know?”
“Of course I do.”
She breathes out a heavy sigh. “It was nerve-wracking.Nothing like a room full of theatre students judging your trauma for marks.”
“You based it on your poem from Tuesday?” I ask, recalling what she told me when we spoke Thursday night.
Leni nods. “After writing it, the previous piece I prepared just felt so… I don’t know. Trivial, maybe? I wanted something raw and emotional that showcased my range, but was also authentic, you know?”
