The sombre note in his voice makes my chest tighten,and I sit on the couch, crossing my arms protectively over my chest.
He gets to his feet and rounds his desk to perch on the edge. “I, uh, didn’t call you in here to talk about what happened on the weekend,” he says quietly.
“I gathered that by the way your eyes nearly popped out of your head when you saw me standing in your office.”
The only sign of his agitation is the way his corded muscles clench as he grips the wood beneath his palms tightly, but his voice is calm when he says, “This is serious, Leni.”
Swallowing, I ask, “Why did you call me in here?”
“I need to preface this by saying I didn’t know you were in this class when I agreed to help Andy—Professor Johnson.” Coach Rourke grimaces. “I didn’t know you were a student at all.”
Biting my lip, I nod.
“This isn’t easy for me to say, especially considering what happened between us, which we also have to talk about?—”
“Can you please get to the point,” I interrupt, jittery about whatever he’s about to say. “I have a class to get to.”
“Of course. Right. Well, Andy asked me to mark some assignments for him, and?—”
A buzzing noise starts in my ears, and I miss whatever it is he’s saying. There’s no way he read my assignment. He can’t have read what his son did to me.
Panic grips me by the throat as I try to remember if I mentioned Dylan by name, but surely he wouldn’t be this calm if I had given anything away.
“—resources that can help, or if there’s someone you need to talk to?—”
“I don’t need to talk to anyone.” I jerk to my feet.
“Leni.” The sympathy in his voice is like a hot branding iron to my chest.
“I don’t need your pity, Ethan. You were never supposed to read that.” I move towards the door, but tense when I feel his body behind me.
He doesn’t touch me, but all the oxygen is sucked from the room as I wait for him to say something.
When he finally speaks, his warm breath tickles my skin, and my heart skips a beat. “I don’t pity you, Leni. Far from it. I think you’re incredibly strong, and I only want to make sure you’re okay.”
Am I okay after what his son did to me?
I wasn’t for a long time.
But I thought I was moving on.
I was finding my strength. My power. I was taking control of what parts of my body I put out in the world.
So why did I feel the need to put what he did to me in writing?
This is definitely a cruel twist of fate that his father is the one who read it. That his father is the first person to make me feel something since his son.
Blinking back tears, I reach for the handle. “I’m fine. Thanks for checking in, Coach Rourke.”
I hear his sharp intake of breath, but I rush out of his office before I break down and tell him the truth.
Chapter 19
Leni
Iskip the rest of my classes for the day, turn off my phone, and hike to Eagle Peak, my thoughts a chaotic symphony of what the fuck, how did this happen, and what do I do now? When I reach the top, I roll out my yoga mat and sit cross-legged in Easy Pose. With my eyes closed, I press my palms gently to my knees and inhale deeply, holding it for a count of five before releasing it.
The icy wind brushes across my face, and I welcome the sting. I try to use it to ground myself, but there’s too much noise in my head distracting me.
