"So what about this Tristan guy?" he asked when we fell quiet again. "What's he to you?"
The smile slipped from my face. "I'm not really sure," I told him honestly.
"He doesn't seem particularly…warm," he finished.
I didn't laugh that time. "He's been through a lot, Logan. And it's made him the way he is. Try not to judge him too harshly, okay?"
"Like what?"
I rubbed my forehead. "Well, he was raised to be one of Luca's guards. And from what I've heard, it was a horrifying way for a little boy to grow up. Now, protecting Luca is the only reason he has for living."
"Until you."
Giving him a small smile, I said, "I guess? Maybe. He's having a hard time dealing with some stuff right now. And I am, too. I don't think this life is one I want to live. And I don't want you anywhere near it."
"So why don't you just break it off with him?" he asked. "And don't tell me 'it's complicated.'"
I took a second to think about my answer. "Because of how he was raised, Tristan had…" How to explain a man as enigmatic as him? "…shut down," I finished. "He has a hard time understanding emotions, and I don't think he really feels that many. But he put his life in danger for me, to keep me safe, and I don't know. I feel like I owe him some grace for that." And probably a little more gratitude than I'd shown him so far.
"So you're telling me you're dating a psychopath?"
I shook my head. "I don't think it's that bad."
Logan's brow furrowed, concern etched across his features. I knew he couldn't understand the inexplicable pull I felt toward Tristan, the way my body responded to his touch despite the warning bells in my head. And I wasn't about to try to explain it to him.
"I know it doesn't make sense," I admitted. "But there's a connection between us, something I can't explain." Something I didn't even have the words for.
I fell silent then, the weight of my confession hanging in the air. Logan reached for my hand, and I gave his a squeeze. "How about a shower and a change of clothes?"
"That would be great. But you're not helping me, Luni."
"I'm your sister!" I laughed.
"And I'm twenty-two, which is way too old for you to see me naked."
"You'll always be little to me."
Carefully sliding off the bed, he gave me a grin that I was sure made all the girls' hearts flutter. "I ain't so little anymore, sis."
"Ew, Logan." Slapping him on the shoulder, I made sure he was steady on his feet before we continued to the gym. Veda told me there was a shower in there and she'd left some clean clothes for Logan on the counter.
"I still can't get over this house," he told me as we walked through the great room to the opposite hallway.
I looked up at the ceiling, two floors up. "Right?"
"Have you seen all of it?"
"Not much more than you. Hopefully, Veda gave me good directions."
Once we got to the gym, I helped him cover his arm brace. "Take your time. And if you need me, just yell. I'll be right out here," I told him before leaving him alone.
"I'll be fine, Luni. Stop worrying about me."
I sank down onto one of the benches in the gym, letting out a heavy sigh as I listened to the water running in the other room. Finally, I had a moment to myself, a chance to sort through the tangled web of thoughts and emotions swirling inside my head.
Logan was right, of course. I knew deep down that I needed to put some distance between Tristan and myself. It was the logical thing to do, the smart thing to do. But even as I sat there, trying to convince myself that leaving was the only option, I couldn't ignore the dull ache that settled in my chest at the thought of walking away from him.
It didn't make any sense. I couldn't understand why the idea of leaving behind the man who'd kept me captive in a cell filled me with such a profound sense of loss, a hollow emptiness that threatened to swallow me whole. I knew I should want to escape, to run as far away from him as I could get... but I didn't. Despite everything, some small, irrational part of me wanted to stay.
