I stared at myself in the wall of mirrors, studying the swollen scrape on my face. Funny, I still looked like the same girl who danced topless in the club, her only focus collecting as much cash as possible from the men watching her, but I didn't feel like that girl anymore. I wasn't sure how to explain it. I was just…different.
I touched the small wound on my lip and thought about the way Tristan had kissed me with such desperation, like he was afraid I'd disappear if he let go. The way he'd held me close, his body solid and warm and large against mine. Protective. And for a moment, I'd felt safe in a way I never had before.
But then I shook my head, trying to clear the memories. I couldn't let myself get caught up in him and the way he made me feel. I had to be strong, for Logan's sake, if not my own.
Yet even as I told myself that, I couldn't ignore the part of me that wanted to stay, that craved his touch and the way he looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered in his life.
I'd never mattered that much to anyone. Not even my brother.
I didn't understand it, this pull he had on me. And I hated the way it made me question everything I thought I knew.
It would be good for me to get away from him, to clear my head and get my life back on track. I wasn't lying when I'd said I didn't want this life. I didn't want to be the mistress of a mafia man. I'd lived my entire life in a body that was the property of men in one way or the other. So no, even if Gino was gone, I didn't want this life.
I wanted to be free.
Even if the thought of leaving, of never seeing him again, made my heart clench in a way I didn't want to examine too closely.
The next fewdays passed in a blur as Logan continued to heal. I spent most of my time by his side, making sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed. Veda was a godsend, always there with a kind word or a helping hand. And Lisa kept us well fed.
As Logan grew stronger, he started wandering around the house, usually with Enzo as a tour guide, and I found myself with more time to think. And the more I thought, the more I realized that we couldn't stay here. I didn't like him spending so much time with Enzo, and I didn't want to overstay our welcome. So far, Luca hadn't asked for anything in return for his kindness, and maybe he never would. But I didn't want to take that chance.
I hadn't seen Tristan since the day of the meeting with the capos.
I tried not to think about that.
It wasn't that I didn't care for him. I did, more than I wanted to admit. But I was done trading my body and my freedom for survival. Logan told me he had a little money stashed away that he hadn't used for living expenses. It was enough for us to get by for a short time until I could find a respectable job in a restaurant or something. I wasn't expecting to see the money I'd lost to Gino ever again, but that was okay. We wouldn't have an easy life, but we'd have each other, and we'd get by.
I wanted a life of my own, one where I was free to make my own choices and live on my own terms. And as much as it pained me to admit it, I knew I couldn't have that with Tristan.
So I made a decision. I would go see him one last time to thank him for everything he'd done for me. And then I would tell him that I was leaving.
My heart clenched at the thought of walking away from him, but I knew it was the right thing to do. For both of us. Logan and I would leave tomorrow and take an Uber back to his dorms, get Logan's car, and drive until we found somewhere where Gino wouldn't find us. My brother could transfer schools. Maybe not at first, but as soon as we were stable somewhere.
He'd argued with me about that. He wanted to work and help support us, and I'd agreed for the short term. But I was determined that he finish his schooling.
I waited until Logan was busy hanging out in the kitchen with Lisa, and then I slipped out of the house.
Taking a deep breath of the crisp morning air, I started walking, my feet carrying me down the drive to Tristan's.
As I approached the house, I hesitated. Maybe it would be better if I left without telling him. Or wait for him to come to Luca's before I said anything.
I'll always come for you.
This was stupid. I didn't know how he was going to react. Maybe I'd just tell him thank you and skip the part about leaving. That way I'd have said what I came here to say, but he'd have no reason to panic and throw me back in the cell.
Maybe being at Luca's these last few days had given me too much confidence. And maybe, Tristan wouldn't care at all. Maybe I'd proven to be more trouble than I was worth.
These thoughts spun around in my head as I stood there, undecided. What was the real reason I was here? Was it to thank him? Or because I missed him?
I was about to turn around and go back to Luca's when the door opened and Tristan stood in the doorway. My eyes roamed down his body, taking in the hard muscle beneath the black suit, and a burning ache began deep in my lower belly.
And when my eyes returned to his face, the hunger and pain in his eyes made my knees go weak.
Oh, god.
CHAPTER13
Tristan
