Seeing them, he dropped down to his haunches in front of me, pulling my chair around until I was facing him and taking my hands. “You can’t let them win, baby girl,” he told me, and although he spoke softly, there was an edge of steel in his deep voice. “Don’t let them fucking win.”
I sniffed back my tears and nodded. I always thought of myself as a strong person. I had to be, growing up with my father. But being sold into prostitution was not something I’d ever imagined myself dealing with.
“We’ll have the doctor check you out, make sure there was no damage, especially since you were drugged and may not have been aware, or remember what was going on.” He paused, his dark eyes consuming me as they searched my face. “Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
Even though I’d thought the same thing, the fact thathewas asking caught me off guard. “I don’t think so. I think I had my period right before you showed up. That’s why he washed me.” The only other explanation for the dried blood on my thighs was something I didn’t want to think about.
Though he didn’t move from where he was or tighten the hold on my hands, I sensed the way his entire body became rigid. “Who washed you?”
“The guy who ran the house. The one I told you about. He just”—I thought back to that last day, trying to see through the fog of my memories—“hosed me down outside.”
Enzo looked at me like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “He fucking hosed you down? Like a goddamn dog?”
I remembered the ice-cold water hitting my naked skin like a thousand needles. But still, “It was good to feel clean,” I told him.
He clenched his jaw, clearly not liking what that implied. I glanced at him. He was angry. Because he cared for me? Or because he considered me his property and someone else had touched something he owned without his permission?
After a long moment, he brushed back my hair with his fingers and stood, the movement smooth and graceful. “We should eat before breakfast gets cold.” Turning my chair back around, he pressed a kiss to my temple and went to get his own food. As he spooned eggs on his plate, he said casually, “If you need to talk to someone about what happened to you, Veda has a really good therapist that she likes. I’m sure she would make time for you.”
I picked up my fork as he sat down across from me. My stomach growled as I looked down at the pile of food he’d given me. “Who is Veda?”
“My boss’s woman. Luca.”
Luca, the underboss. “Oh.”
“Do you want me to make an appointment? You don’t have to worry about the cost.”
“No,” I immediately told him. “Thank you, though,” I added when I realized how short I sounded. I’d had enough of therapists to last me three lifetimes. And after the last one accused me of stealing things because I wanted my father’s attention, I’d be perfectly happy never to see one again.
“Sera, it might help,” he said.
I set my fork down. “How am I supposed to talk about something I don’t even remember?” That wasn’t true. Not completely. I did remember some of it. Times when I wasn’t given my next dosage on time and the stupor began to wear off. Or when the pain forced its way through. But even so, what was there to say? It happened. And now it was over, thanks to the man sitting across the table from me. I just wanted to forget all of it and go on with my life.
“Maybe you can talk to me,” he said. “If you want to.”
I stared at him across the table. This hard man who was trying so hard to be patient with me. I could see the way he practically vibrated with the effort it took him.
“I want to know everything about you, Sera. The good and the bad.”
His words jostled something inside of me. I looked down at my plate and cut off a bite of pancake with my fork, sticking it into my mouth.
“What?” he asked. “What’s with the face?”
The syrup was sticky sweet on my tongue, but it was hard to enjoy it with him sitting there staring holes in me.
“Sera. Goddammit. Talk to me.”
So much for that patience. I sighed and put down my fork. “I can’t. I don’t want to. I just want to forget it ever happened.”
“It’s not that easy, Sera.”
“Why not? I just want everything to go back to normal. Why can’t you just let it go?” My eyes burned with tears. I didn’t want to think about what happened to me. I didn’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to eat this food that tasted so fucking good to me and then I wanted to take another shower and maybe zone out on a stupid show on Netflix.
He sat back in his chair. “Because I should’ve stopped you from leaving. I should’ve found you sooner. I should’veprotectedyou, Sera. And I didn’t.”
“I’m a grown woman, Enzo. One who makes really bad decisions sometimes. And you won’t always be there to protect me.” We sat staring at each other across the table. He didn’t like that answer. But it was true. “Besides—”
“Don’t even fucking give me the ‘we barely know each other’ bullshit,” he bit out.
