Rolling over to face Ronin, who’s still in a deep sleep, I have an insatiable urge to run my fingers over his face, and my hand rises without too much thought. Before I can actually feel his skin on mine, Ronin drops into a nightmare.
I feel his muscles contracting as something in his mind takes hold. His jaw squares as he gnashes his teeth, and a tortured groan blows his fear right into my face.
“Ro,” I call out softly, my hand cupping his face.
He shakes against my hold. My touch doesn’t bring comfort to reach through wherever his mind has taken him hostage. Sitting up, I roll him onto his back, settling myself over his chest. “Ronin. Ro! Ronin. Wake up.”
His scent hollows out, and I curse myself for taking suppressants. Maybe if he scented me, it would have been the thing to help drag him free.
My heart is racing so hard it hurts as it thuds against my chest. I panic, unsure if I should call out or race in to tell Tynan something is wrong with Ronin. I get caught watching unseen horror race over Ronin’s closed eyes in his REM state. It looks like his nightmare is getting worse. His lips flatten intoan unyielding line, telling of the pain he’s trying to fight off. His shoulders lock down like he’s suffering through something or trying desperately to escape. I act impulsively and press my lips to his.
His mouth is cool to the touch, and his lips are hard like stone. I can feel noises vibrating free of his chest. I start peppering his lips with kisses, licking and nipping at them until he does one god almighty body jerk and his eyes fly open.
I don’t move an inch.
I don’t really want to. But he’s also looking with eyes too predatory. I feel like a baby rabbit in front of a hungry wolf. My flight-or-fight instincts dull to stay-and-protect. The color of his eyes is lost under his designation. With each blink, I want to say Ronin comes back, but his Alpha’s presence is too noticeable.
He's carefulin how he moves, but he pulls me closer, exactly like a lion dragging their catch closer to devour. “You are mine, Tally girl.” His bark isn’t loud, but since his designation is riding him so hard, his Alpha intention makes up for the lack of volume.
His bark bounces around inside my head, gathering speed and intention like a bowling ball down a mountain. His influence pinballs everywhere inside my mind and soul, making all the parts of me that are dark and soaked in fear sit up and listen to his claim.
It’s beautifully simple.
And it’s violently true. I am Ronin’s.
My moment of avoidance and coming to terms with the possibility of one day living without ghosts haunting me, and pain constantly chasing me, coincides with Ronin snapping out of his primal Alpha state. He’s instantly aware of how aggressive he’s being and how much he’s smothering me in his influence.
“Shite, Tally girl. Sorry, darling. Hang on.” He squeezes his eyes shut, cutting off our connection as he arches backwards togive me room to breathe. A place to break free of his dominance and choke hold.
I can literally feel him hurting himself. He’s fighting against his most natural, primal self. Exactly like I have been doing for months.
A handful of seconds together isn’t going to fix all my problems, but in this blip of time, I see our roles together with perfect clarity. The insight goes a long way, forcing light in the heart of darkness that’s been keeping me hostage.
I don’t want space between us. I need Ronin and everything he represents. As much as he needs me. I scuttle closer until I’m wrapped around him, clinging with a desperation I want to own.
We don’t talk, we don’t look at each other, but we start to fucking heal in each others arms.
And the magical, mystical workings of a pack mean that, within a handful of minutes, the other people, the other parts of me, I thought I’d lost forever end up wrapped around me too.
Chapter Sixty-Two
TALLY
Tynan is the first to get up. He goes into the bathroom, then leaves my room. Ronin follows, dragging out a pouty Rafferty. I grab the pillow he was using and draw it into my arms.
Keegan looks at me for a long time before he speaks. “You remember what I told you, Tal? About being anything you need.”
I nod my head immediately. Because I’m pretty sure I remember everything he ever said to me.
“Good.” He repositions himself, and before he moves, I know what he’s going to do.
I can’t say it worries me in the least. He sits behind me and pulls me onto his lap.
“I got your message.”
I look over to the view out the window. The walls aren’t caving in, but there’s still a lot of calming qualities in what’s happening outside that keep me from freaking out.
“I thought I was dying,” I whisper, turning so I can focus on the view while I rest my head on his chest and curl into a ball.
