Keegan’s arms squeeze around me. “Were you scared?”
I nod. No sense lying about something like that. “Terrified. But okay too.”
“You know we’re not angry at you, right?”
“You should be. I lied to your faces.”
“I don’t see it that way.”
I shake my head, disagreeing with him.
“Does it matter, Tal? Cause from where I am, the only thing that matters is what happens next.”
“How can you trust me?”
“Ah, that’s easy. Everything you did was done in such a way you did your job, but you also tried to protect us. You get we’re allowed to do that, too, huh? Go to some serious extremes to protect you.”
Keegan kisses the top of my head, then drops his chin on top of my head keeping us touching. When he talks his breath gently stirs my hair.
“In case ya need reminding, I’d do anything for you. I would have slaughtered those right pricks for you, Tal. Taken them out with a single shot, or tortured them for hours if you’d asked. Logically, I know you couldn’t have dealt with them that way, but I still want you to know I would have killed them. Since we’re talking about them and the whole situation, you gotta be knowing I’m pretty fucking proud of you being such an honorable, and brave copper. You put your life on the line and faced their filthy fucking corruption head on. What you did will no doubt save lives, and saved lives including Eloise and her pack. I reckon you’ll be inspiring others in your field for a long time, and I won’t let you forget that.”
I take a shaky inhale watching the snow falling. The flurries are bigger now, floating and blowing everywhere, much like Keegan’s words are reaching inside every part of me.
I grab his hand, squeezing it with all my strength as I stay watching out the window, it looks peaceful out there, almost as peaceful as the calm taking hold in me.
“I want to talk about that text. Cause the thing is, you’re not dying anymore, so I need to know if you’d still say those things tomeagain if you had the chance.”
I lean my head against his arm. “Well, I think the list of names I sent was obvious enough, right?”
He leans down and nips on the fleshy part between my neck and shoulder. Even through my jumper, I can feel it. It feels as good as his arms around me do.
“Not that part.” He growls, his lips on my neck.
His touch is overwhelming, I feel like I’m about to drown. But I don’t push away because I also can feel how much I’ve longed for his Alpha touch. “A bit’s changed since then, though.”
Keegan forces me to lean into him more but makes it so I can’t hide my face. Pushy Alpha. In front of me, he slowly brings his hands where I can see. His fingers move, his hands, too, and even though I don’t understand a word he’s saying, I know enough.
I grab his hands, stopping him from signing, and squeeze my eyes shut as the tears soak my face. I fucking hate how over the top and sudden my emotions are.
And then, because it’s Keegan, and he’s as subtle as a sledgehammer, he dips down to my good side. “Is you being mine just a dying wish, Tal? Or is it a living one?”
I bite my jaw to stop from screaming, not that it helps. “I can’t fucking walk properly, Keegan, and never will be able to. I can’t hear out of one fucking ear. I’m stuck in a fucking nightmare and spend most of my day crying or sleeping, tryingto escape fucking life. You need to accept things have changed! I’m not who I was!”
He scoffs, and I feel the motion rattle through my bones. I twist around, and he catches my face in one of his hands, not letting me move an inch. “I don’t give a fuck, Tal. Just answer my goddamn question! Or do you think because you’re a little broken and bruised, I won’t treat you mean? Because you bet your fucking arse, I will treat you mean. I’ll push you. Argue with you. Tell you no and probably make you cry. I’ll flip you over and fill your juicy cunt whenever I want to. Because you are the same incredible woman today that you were when you stole my heart after that first kiss in Genoa. You are still my fucking girl, and I will make sure you don’t ever fucking forget how strong you are.”
“You’re fucked in the head,” I hiss at him, lifting a hand to shove him away.
“You’re only figuring that out now? Feckin’ Jesus, Tal, now I am worried!” He laughs, but he also flips us so he’s under me, and I’m straddling his chest.
Our fingers are interlaced, our arms stretched back so his nose is touching mine. The green of eyes is like tumbled sea glass. And they’re only full of sweet emotion and lots of devotion.
Keegan’s love, his mood, his flipping and flopping, is the chaos I need. I know it, I just don’t know if I deserve it.
“What about when I tell you I might have developed a martyr complex?” I whisper, not bothering to stop the tears from dropping onto his face.
“Baby, you always had that.” He leans up to peck my lips, his voice soft and gentle. “Nothing matters. Out of all we’ve been through, you have to see the only thing that matters is us.”
“Everything else can be killed?”
