“Because I am so fucking furious right now, I don’t want to scare you. I’m not angryatyou, Layne, do you understand that? I’m drowning in rage that you had to suffer growing up, and I’m heartbroken you still are suffering. All I want to do is protect you, but I’ve already failed you.”
“You haven’t.”
“Clearly, I have because I can feel your sorrow. It kills me. I want to rage at the world.” His words are all over the place, but they’re reflective of his thoughts, because I can see the slight manic glaze to his eyes as plain as day. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yes.”
“But it’s not to pressure you, it’s so you understand how completely in love with you I am. That’s all, okay? Promise me you will try to hear what I am saying when I say I’m not trying to pressure or sway you.”
“I kind of know you well enough by now, Dante, to understand you wouldn’t do either.”
He smiles, nodding his head. “Good, baby, that gives me hope.”
“What do you have to tell me?” I whisper, feeling sick with anxiety.
Dante reaches for my hand. “I’m so fucking scared you’re going to leave me.”
“What?” I ask, stupefied, before my shock morphs and it has me screeching at him. “Dante! What?”
He reaches over and grabs my flying hand, our fingers immediately interlacing and squeezing together. “I wouldn’t be able to let you go, though.” He grimaces before he keeps talking. “And I get my fears are so out of place, considering everything we feel for each other, and fuck, being scared doesn’t make sense because I see our future playing out like a movie every time I close my eyes. But that doesn’t mean my worry about losing you goes away. You intimidate me every time you look at me because of the way you own me so effortlessly, and I’m so worried I’m being sucker-punched or will be.”
“Dante…”
“I had to tell you. My parents were big over sharers. I think it’s part of my DNA, but it’s you. You, Layne, are like an earthquake, and I’m forever standing in the epicenter, holding on, spilling my deepest secrets, and hoping I survive. I need you, baby, like I never needed anyone before.”
My chin is wobbling before he finishes, tears tracking down my face, and I’m scrambling onto his lap before he takes another shaky inhale. “How do you have the same fear as me? I’m worried you’re all going to blindside me at some point.”
Dante’s eyes flare so wide, the whites show. “You’re worried about me leaving you? Fuck, Layne, I get anxiety when you go to the bathroom.”
“You do not.”
“I do! Just don’t tell anyone on the street, okay?”
I nod. “You’ve got a reputation to uphold.” And there’s a sudden and sullen pitch to my voice.
One that makes him growl under his breath. “Do you know why I don’t want people to see how fucking weak I am when I’m with you? Because, Layne, I seriously would prefer the time I’m with you to be full of good times and not us wasting time with people coming at us because they think the way I love you makes me and the De Lucas weak. But here’s the thing—I’ll always bebutter soft for you and only you. Everyone else gets my other side.Butboth sides of me are real.” His gaze gets a demon-like edge to it in his conviction.
It’s lucky I like the villains in stories so much, because much like Dante said, I can’t ever see myself letting him go. I’m sure some days I’ll believe I’m lying to myself, but I’m hoping I can lean on him, Matteo, and Valentine for the reminder. Which, in a roundabout way, allays my earlier fears.
“Take me home,” I snap, flicking my chin up. “I want us all to bond. Now.”
His emotions drain away as he deals with the shock of my petulant demand.
He shakes his head after a moment. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah, you heard me right. I’m pretty sure I’m always going to wonder how I found you because, honestly, how? But on those days, I’ll feel our connection on a different level that’s as real as you are in my arms right now. And for the record, I know you’ll be there, fighting my demons with your gooey-soft love.”
He shakes his head slowly as a grin plays at the edges of his lips. “And huge, hard cock.”
“Okay, demon slayer, you can bring any weapon you choose. We’re going home to bond, right now. Not later, not anywhere but out on the balcony as the four of us watch the moon shine over your territory.”
“Can I call home and tell them?”
“Nope, because you’ve got enough on your lap.”
“How so?”
Instead of answering, I reach down and undo his seat belt before twisting it around my back and clipping us both back in. “See, you’ve got enough on your lap. I’m not moving.”
