“You going into heat, little moon?”
“Would it be bad if I did?”
Darius laughs, shaking his head. “Oh, let me think about whether you dropping into heat is something I’d want to see…”
I pick up a pillow and peg it at his head.
“I’m not anyway,” I scowl as he nabs the pillow and reclines back on it. “I mean, it’s inevitable I do go into heat at some point, but without disrespect, I couldn’t do it here.”
“Why?” Darius’s mood freezes up.
“Don’t get icy. Think about it, Darius, unless you’ve got a nest hidden away I haven’t seen?”
“I’d make you one.”
I really want to get up out of the chair and go to him, to comfort him but the fool stole my panties. “Dare, it’s not just about a nest. I’ve got a pretty decent schedule I need to adhere to.”
“You schedule your heats?” Kai joins the conversation, passing over a glass for me. “A mocktail for my pretty girl.”
“Thank you.” I take it from him, my eyes dropping to the glass because it feels easier than watching them. “Of course I manage my heat with suppressors if I have a board meeting or something important coming up. It’s pretty standard procedure for most Omegas.”
“I thought it was dangerous to do that to heat cycles,” Ramses says, sitting back on his heels, getting more active in the conversation.
“Heidi,” Darius barks, making me jump. “Let’s be clear. You’re not doing heats with any other Alphas but us, right?”
Kai and Ramses don’t add to his bold statement. They don’t argue against it either.
“I assumed as much, Darius, but…” I answer softly, careful not to upset or incite them.
“No buts about it,” he snaps. And his anger is palpable, much like a hint of bitterness that alters his spicy scent.
“Unless I don’t feel safe,” I talk over the top of him. “I get what you’re saying, and I’m on board with us doing heats but… heats are a giant leap of faith.”
“How do you usually do them?” Ramses asks. The way he speaks is calming, and it settles over me like a warm blanket.
“We’re doing this now?” I ask. “Before we eat?”
“Too fucking right, we are,” Darius snaps impatiently.
“Dare, calm down or take a walk,” Ramses throws over his shoulder. “You’re right, we don’t have to do this now. Tonight is about spoiling you.”
“And you have already,” I offer, my eyes dropping away.
But Ramses reaches over and tilts my chin back up, taking away my opportunity to hide but also letting me know I don’t need to. “Stare him down, he’ll go to water,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
I don’t need permission to do it, but it still feels nice. I look past Ramses, straight at Darius, who’s still miffed and not getting why I’d have an issue.
“Darius, honestly, I’m about to not worry if the whole world sees my bare ass if it means I get to strangle you. Listen to what I’m saying! Yes, for heats together but we’re new and even with all this, even with everything in me saying this is how it should be, I’m still reserving my right for all of eternity. If I don’t feel safe for whatever reason, I’m going to pull the plug. Do you get that? Do you get that it’s not about you? It’s not about Kai, or Ramses either. It is about me. And it’s the only thing that has always been in my control?”
“Do you get how much that hurts me? It’s like a knife in my chest.”
“Well, get over it.”
“You get over here and say that.” He glowers. There’s no other way to describe the look on his face. “It guts me, Heidi. I get it, but it guts me that they’ve done this to you.”
“I’ve done this.”
“No, little moon, you haven’t. Every Alpha that has ever crossed your path has made you not feel safe. That shit stops right this second. And by the way it’s not about not being allowed into your nest, it’s that you don’t feel safe. I’d never force myself into a situation like that for you.
