“Refuse to see me. That’s what I’m more worried about.”
“Why?”
“Bit hard to be so staunch in your views when you’ve muddied your own morals.”
“So, what? You lied to get into the Academy? Big deal.”
“Bit of blackmail too. Except apparently my conversation was recorded and now I’m the victim of the intended blackmail, instead of being the other way around.”
“Wow, I did not expect that. You are going straight to hell.” I gasp. Hamming it up, obviously. Then I grab the lapels of his white business shirt—he’s certainly gone for hot as fuck police detective today even rolling his sleeves up to forearm porn level. “Are you a bad person?”
“You seem to be changing my views on a few things since you blasted back into my life, Lolli. I had all these indicators set up in my…”
I literally use all my strength and shake the crap out of him. “Tal, stop! Are you a bad person? Simple yes or no.”
“No,” he answers immediately.
“Am I a good person?”
“Without a doubt.”
“Then what is the problem? I just don’t get it.”
He looks away, shaking his head, gathering himself by the looks of it. When he looks back, his midnight blue eyes are clear, sparkling like sapphires in the sun and it magnifies how much he’s matured. His dimple makes a sudden appearance when he smiles shyly, reminding me of the times when we were just kids. Although most of our memories are of those times.
“Everything we did, Lolli, was with the intention of getting you back. Nothing after the baby was unplanned. It couldn’t be. But we had this tunnel vision to get to where we wanted to be. If we could have, we would have teleported to that passage of time where everything, all our hard work was paying off. But we couldn’t, so instead, I bent my own rules and found a way to get into the academy. Like always though, one little fuck up spins itself into a bigger one where you have to lie to keep the truth covered. Like I said, in my mind, if I could be the best damn detective here, then Hayes and I would be able to provide a safe life for you and all my own demons would be worth it.”
“And were you ever going to tell me of your plan?” I ask unable to hold back the venom in my tone, because for fuck’s sake, it’s all well and good having a life mapped out with someone, but I think letting that someone know is a big part of that.
He grimaces, picking up on the edge of bitterness in my tone and scent. My reactions have nothing to do with my recent heat and everything to do with how much fucking time we wasted.
“I spent so much time believing you didn’t want me, Tal. You’ve got no idea. Shit, I’ve got no clue if we’re even going to be able to get past that. Or even if we should.”
Talon’s mouth pulls together in a depreciative look of defeat, but I look past it and keep explaining.
“I didn’t get or hear one word from you. And don’t think you’re special. I absolutely chewed Hayes out for it too. Surely as a detective you would have looked for a clue to where I was. You could have found me and sent me a handful of words to let me know what you were doing, instead of leaving me wondering what the hell was wrong with me.”
“I probably could’ve found you if I tried.”
“Why didn’t you? Why, Talon? And don’t blame King for this.”
He looks down the now empty corridor.
I growl, frustrated that he’s keeping the reasons from me, and it pulls his troubled blue eyes back to mine. And despite the deep pools of emotion I see in them, I keep my hands to myself as I wait for a better explanation.
“Why, Tal?”
For a man his size, he moves without stirring the air between us. His hand cups my face so intimately that I get a cramp in my chest.
“I lost you once, Lolli. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to find you only to watch you leave. So, I threw everything I had into working on our future. Everything. Along the way I learnt to ignore those fears of losing you by focusing on other things. Hayes hated me doing it, he says I’m a robot some days even now, but working on those foundations until I could deal with the fact I might have fucked everything up with you was the only way I could do this.”
“There’s still a possibility you did screw everything up, Talon.”
“Yeah, I know. But see, in the few days since I saw you again, I’ve got this thing urging me on, screaming in my ear, if I’m honest, that I don’t need to be scared anymore.”
I shake my head, not quite getting what he’s saying.
Talon’s dimple deepens, and I know he’s understanding my confusion in his own way.
