“I would survive you leaving me. I’d be scarred deep inside, but I would survive. Lolli, I just don’t want to live like that. But I could if I had to.”
“What do you want?”
His smile changes again, it’s like it comes from such an honest place for once, and I’m caught staring up at the Talon I fell in love with years ago. The one who laughed constantly and had stars in his eyes instead of a plan. He used to have such a deep desire to dream.
“I want another chance with you.”
“How?”
“I guess all of a sudden I have an urge to unlock a new mindset. One where I’m on my knees pulling apart the foundations of a future I’ve been obsessing about before I crawl to you to beg for any clue as to what your future looks like. Then I will start working on that instead of this fucking crazy idealisation of what your perfect life looks like in my head.”
I flinch, it’s hard not to. He’s got this look of rightness in his eye, but at the end of the day, words are words and even without explaining why I take a step away, I know he gets it. His hand doesn’t drop away as the space between us increases.
He takes a step closer. One small barely noticeable step, but it’s like holding a megaphone to my head with the noise it makes. Of course, Talon being Talon, makes the simple step mean that much more when he drops to his knees in front of me, “Like I said in Puck’s bed, I’m so fucking sorry, Lolli. I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. And I’m sorry for being a dick.”
“World’s biggest dick.”
He shudders playfully from his place at my feet as he amends his statement. “I’m sorry for being the world’s biggest dick. Even though I’m saying sorry, Lolli, I’m stoked you think I’ve got the biggest dick…”
I shove my hand over his mouth. “Talon, be serious!”
Instead of sobering up, he smirks and shakes his head before talking around my hand, “Can’t. Look what being serious cost me. Instead, I’m sure the answer is in the million laughs I owe you.”
And in one moment I’m damning and blessing him in the same heartbeat. His words hit home. They are like the sound of ice breaking after a long hard winter. I squash my hand harder over his mouth, except his eyes are glittering and his campfire scent wraps around me like a comforting snuggle on a cold night.
“You have a lot of ground to make up,” I tell him straight up. There’s no point either feeding his resolution or arguing it. “Right now, I still want to inflict some kind of physical pain on you… but I also need to get to Puck. And Koz. And then no promises, Tal, on what our tomorrow looks like, but I think we do need to spend more time together. You, me, Hayes, Puck. And Koz. He is a part of whatever we are, and he always will be. It’s not a choice of me or you, he’s been a part of me since you left.”
Talon lifts his hands to hold my hand in place. He doesn’t use his words though the kiss he places on my palm is pretty fucking telling.
“This isn’t me forgiving you either, Talon. I mean it. I’ve got years of bullshit to unpack when it comes to you.”
“I’ve got just as many years of apologies, Lolli. If you’ll let me.”
ChapterThirty-Two
KOZ
“Close off the ward. If anyone needs urgent care, they should be in fucking ICU already. It’s not my problem how you do it, Lew, but it will be your problem if you don’t sort it out. Fast.” I wave my hand about, “If I come out later, and find one fucking person lurking in the shadows your bonus will be reneged. Yes?”
“My bonus?”
“My mistake, I meant to say your services will be terminated.” I smile, like a crocodile. My mood just as ugly.
“Of course. Should I find a hand-blown glass vase for you at the same time?”
I turn slowly to look at him, making sure I heard him right, and the sly dog wears just the smallest tip of his lips.
“I figured that was a given,” I reply slowly, rearranging the bouquet of lilac wisteria I had him driving around the city for.
He breezes past me, his eyes locked on the security guards standing up in front of the doors to the ward. I stop and let him do his thing, rereading the text from Detective Jeffers. Although clearly he wasn’t using his departmental provided phone when he sent me a photo of Raney glaring at the camera under a pile of blankets next to a sleeping Puck.
Obviously, Jeffers has managed to find a way back into her good graces. I’ve little doubt I’ll hear a very detailed explanation from her soon enough. Not that it matters, I’d bring her the world if she’d only ask.
Finishing off a text to Rhodes, letting him know any updates are to go through Lew on Andrea, I accept the offer the security guard makes to walk me to the private room down the far end of the corridor. Smart man also assures me no less than ten times that the ward will be vacated very shortly.
He leaves me with the standard security personnel nod, and I wait until he is back at his station before I open the door to the room. Her luscious sweet and sultry wisteria scent rushes out, and so does his. His petrichor scent brings a rise of my alpha, strangely in both challenge and acceptance. Even with him here, it doesn’t take me long to sort through my usual sense of bewilderment that accompanies the realisation I’m in the same world as her.
Locking the door, I slip my shoes off and walk soundlessly to the larger, more open part of his hospital suite. Impressively, and despite his supposed injury, Puck is awake, a good quality revolver aimed in my direction. His arm wrapped around her protectively.
