“She doesn’t need to be our issue anymore because Pack Bailey will take responsibility for her. Walk away from it, Lennon. Now.” Noah snaps.
“Wow, Dr. Teo, a little tense?”
“Of course I am. I’m finishing it now.” He snatches his phone out of his pocket and shoots a text to Pack Bailey. “Done. Yes, I made a decision, but we’ve been going around in circles about her for a while. I don’t ever want to fucking talk about her again!”
Clicking off my seat belt, I move to sit on Noah’s lap and face away from everyone. “Thank you, Noah. I’m sorry I pushed you.”
He leans forward and kisses the side of my head, keeping his lips on my temple and pulling me back to lean against his chest. We stay like that, and it’s exactly what he and I both need as Valak drives us to our destination.
I already know where we’re going, and it’s also the reason we’re all wound up tight.
I agree in part with Noah’s reasoning that if I’d had a protection dog, what happened in the courthouse might not have happened. But the other part of it is I don’t believe that for a second. Miller was armed to the fucking hilt, carrying enough weapons to start a small army, and his obsession with Bailey and their pack was only going to end in death.
The other part of my hesitation about going today is, I’m just not sure I’m ready. For owning a dog, most certainly. For loving one so hard and deeply like I did Ares—I’m not sure my heart is healed enough. But my beautiful and deeply insightful Noah wants me to try.
Today’s visit to K9 Elite is his heat gift to me.
Of course, there were stipulations before we even set out today. Noah kissed away my guilty tears as they fell. He listened intently to all my worries, and then he held me tight as I struggled to decide if I could go to the breeder’s home to have a look. But he swore, in his stoic-ness, that we were all together and ready for our future. Whether I accept his gift is up to me, Noah’s been very emphatic about that, but he’s also insistent that we go today.
The last part of the drive is quiet, everyone caught up in their own thoughts, and when the car slows, I sit up. For the last hour, Noah’s been staring out the window.
“Stop the car, Valak,” he says, his deep voice strained by emotion. I can hear his conflict in a few simple words; I can smell his unease in the peppery scent.
“Hey? What’s up?” I ask him.
But Noah opens the door and is out of our car before he answers.
I reach over to Valak, and he grabs my hand, pressing a kiss to the palm. “You guys go on. It’s only a short walk.”
As soon as I climb out, they leave. Valak drives off slowly enough so we can stop them if we want, but it will be nice to walk with Noah.
I jump up on his back without any warning, but he catches me. He always will. Noah is such a deep-thinking person. He sees and interprets situations and people differently, or from a different angle. The way he loves me is unlike the way the others do, it’s not any less intense, it’s just different. It’s complex, and he needs a lot of time and patience as he sorts through his thoughts and emotions.
“What the fuck have I done to you?” he asks, his feet frozen in the middle of the road as we stand looking at acres of farmland in front of us. When he doesn’t start walking, I rock in the direction we need to go. Walking and talking is good for him, better for me because I find out more about how he thinks, and I love that.
“You pushed me,” I offer honestly, resting my chin on his shoulder as he takes off. I hang my arms over him, my fingers tapping against his chest.
“Who does that? What sort of person pushes the woman they love to do something she’s not ready for.”
I laugh, feeling him jolt under me, but I kiss the sting away and offer a quick sorry. “Seriously, Noah, I pushyouso hard. Some days when you’ve left for work, I can’t look at myself in the mirror because I wonder if I pushed you too far. I only do it because I love you so much, and I need you to be everything you want to be. Then you get home that night, and you’ve got this incredible energy coating you, your eyes blaze with happiness that comes from a place deep inside you. And the way you talk to me when we’re in bed, I know that I pushed you enough. It’s not just you and me pushing each other to be better. Perhaps you miss it, but the way you care and love for our pack is a beautiful thing to see. In a few select words or touches, you push our Gabriel to be better too. Valak pushes Lincoln. Lincoln pushes me. It’s an incredible, intimate, strong bond we share that will never be taken from us. We’re pack, but we’re so much more. Imagine being locked to a pack where you were afraid to do that, where they wouldn’t let you.”
“Yeah, but this is huge. This is my heat gift to you; you only get to do that once.”
“Who says we can only do heat gifts once? We’re making all the rules in our world, Noah. We are. The five of us.”
“Maybe,” he says, stopping down the road a bit, our fingers intertwined. He leans his head against mine. “I just wanted to do something that would make you smile every day. The way you used to look at Ares. I’m not sure you even knew you were smiling, but you lit up. I wanted to give you that again.”
“Noah Teo, you are the sweetest, and one of the most breath-taking and mesmerising people I know. And I’ve got you forever. I’m the lucky one.”
“That’s not true. Who was I before I met you?”
“One of the leading plastic surgeons in the world.”
“Being successful doesn’t define you, being loved does. You define me.”
“And I always will.” I kiss him on the underside of his jaw, and then we both stand quietly and let what we shared with each other sink in. I know Noah needs the time, his mind would be swirling loudly, like a turbine engine, but he’d never show it. Except he’s starting to. “I’m your forever girl, Noah.”
“And that’s the biggest mystery in my world,” he sighs before he pulls my hands up to his nose and inhales our mixed scent. He closes his eyes. “I never thought I’d get this.”
