Stone chuckles. “You love it all.” I shrug but say nothing, instead sitting back and breathing in the light breeze, yet I still feel Stone’s eyes fixed on me. “Harlow, as much as I’m loving every second of this weekend, I sense that something is on your mind.”
I press my lips together. “We probably shouldn’t have this conversation here in public with the knitting club president walking by. Isla warned me that she spreads gossip like wildfire.”
My quip only makes Stone more uneasy, and I can sense he is about to boil. “She can say what she wants. I only care what you’re about to say.”
I stand up to pace in front of him, unsure where to begin, as I’m nervous and recognize the necessity of this all the same. “The thing is, Stone… you’ve asked me to make a big jump.”
There it is.
He’s fuming.
Stone stands to stay level with me, but he keeps a few feet of distance. “Holy shit. Did you seriously come here this weekend and tell me that you love me, only to end things?”
My hands fly up to stop him. “No, not to end things. I’m just not sure that…” It hurts to say it. I wish I didn’t have to, especially when I see how steamed he is. “I can’t make a decision about moving.”
The back of his finger sweeps across his upper lip, and I can tell his mind and body are going into overdrive. “What the hell is keeping you back? I know it’s a spring off a cliff, but is it something else that you don’t want to admit?”
I attempt to connect our hands, but he only rebuffs me. “Don’t you think we are moving a little fast? I mean, we already talked about wanting a baby one day, yet I don’t even know which shirts of yours go to the dry cleaner.”
Stone looks at me blankly. “Does any couple actually know that?” His voice cracks.
“Okay, what about Thanksgiving? I have no clue if you like cranberry sauce or not.”
He only gets more aggravated. “Who the hell doesn’t, Harlow? It’s a necessity for turkey and stuffing.” He is dead serious, but his voice still squeaks.
This is so ridiculous, all of these little things, but aren’t people in love aware of the tiniest details?
“My point is that moving across the country is… how do we know we’re compatible to live together? What if it doesn’t work and then my life is uprooted.”
His eyes grow into saucers. “Harlow, it doesn’t matter if I lived a fucking mile from you. Not knowing if we are compatible, living with one another, would be exactly the same.”
A valid point, ugh.
Stone rubs his forehead while I stand in my spot with the world’s biggest frown, and my heart racing in panic. I’m making up excuses when reality is that a future with him could be amazing, and that terrifies me. What if I fail him or become unworthy?
“I’m trying to be honest.”
Pain shades his face. “Did you come to Lake Spark to investigate or to really be with me this weekend?”
I attempt to tug his arm to me, but he makes no effort to move, however he doesn’t shake my hand away. “A tiny part, yes, I wanted to experience again what it feels like here. BecauseI amseriously considering the move. But mostly, I wanted to be with you because I’m miserable without you, and I’m happy that those three little words slipped out of my mouth. We can’t hide our secrets forever.”
Stone’s eyes lighten slightly. “Why would you want it to be a secret?”
My head bows. “I wasn’t lying last time I saw you. I’m scared that we could be everything but I’ll just screw it up somehow. All it takes is one second.”
His body squares off, and he straightens his shoulders to focus on me. “Except now you discovered you are a firefly.”
For the first time in minutes of our somber faces, I have a hint of a weak attempt to smile. “Right, the bravery-in-night thing.”
I take one step forward and I feel the warmth of his body. His fingertips trail up my arms. “I believe the future between us is what we’ve been waiting for. I just need you next to me to make that happen.”
He always says the right thing. His words are comforting and wrap around my body and soul.
As confident as this man is, his eyes mist with the start of tears. “I’m going crazy, Harlow. I feel like a yo-yo. We take one step forward and one step back. I freaking love you, but I might break if we can’t stop taking steps back.”
My breath stops short. “I understand, and I agree. I’m just not… I guess I’m confused. I’m trying to push fear away to let us in.”
Stone’s lips slide side to side right before he kisses me hard on the mouth without warning. It’s his way to shut me up and prove a point. I press against his lips because I’m hoping this kiss is the glue to ensure I can’t run away.
