But it’s only a quiet confirmation that he wants me to think.
“Come on, we’ll head back to my place since you have a flight tonight.”
“Sure.”
A flight sounds like the worst thing on the planet right now.
* * *
We werequiet most of the afternoon, except for the occasional kisses. Stone and I were both considering the ups and downs of this weekend. My theory of ruining something good between us already seems to be proven as fact. Today, we should have been basking in the glow of last night and enjoying a day with a new horizon. Instead, I opened my mouth and let out my thoughts that swing from all directions.
The regional airport means Stone can wait on the tarmac with me as it’s such a small plane and only two commercial flights take off each day. Stone drops my carry-on next to my feet. “Well… I guess this is the end of our weekend.”
“Yeah.” I assume this is what heartache feels like. “Stone, I do love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Give me a little more time. I promise, I’m considering and want to ensure my answer is honest.”
He glances away, only to draw a line right back to me, his eyes conflicted yet cold. “That’s fair.” We both look down when he slides his fingers between mine and brings them up between us with our fingertips in the air. He looks down at our connection and studies it with affection. “But, Harlow…” He swallows and seems to be hesitating. “I can’t take the back-and-forth or I might as well throw my heart onto the ice until it melts. It’s miserable when you don’t have clarity, not when you want to give so much.”
“What are you saying?” An ache builds in my throat.
“Next time I see you, it’s either to embark on our future or to say goodbye.”
A tear drops from the corner of my eye.
I feared he would say that.
21
HARLOW
Ihaven’t taken one sip. The green juice in front of me, my favorite that even has kiwi in it, isn’t even appetizing today. Nor has it been for the last two weeks while Stone and I have taken some space—all my doing, by the way.
Flo’s on the other side of the table as we sit outside in the late morning sun. She’s been patiently waiting for me to say something, but I come up blank on how to filter all of my emotions and thoughts.
Her nails tap in a steady beat on the glass before she takes a purposely long sip of her red smoothie, ensuring she slurps with extra emphasis to ensure that I begin to spill the tea.
I sigh in aggravation. “What the fuck have I done?”
“Ooh, that’s a start. I was worried that you’d taken a vow of silence.”
“Stone thought that I went to Lake Spark to spend a night with him as a goodbye.” It hurts that the thought even entered his mind, however looking from afar, I understand how it may have seemed.
“Harlow, at some point, not decidingissaying goodbye. The guy has every right to set his limits. He’s smart, and it’s a classic move to be the one to lead when you feel as though doom might be on the horizon.”
Panic spreads across my face. “It’s not doom… it’s just…”
“It’s just you’re scared, and your inability to make jumps is understandably warranted, but Stone is literally standing before you telling you being scared isn’t a problem. Jump, he’ll be there to catch you.”
Finally, I give in and take a drink of my juice to hydrate as my thoughts are creating a workout in my head. “The crazy thing is that I think I’ve laid out all my fears and concerns, it’s not that I’m hiding anything from him.”
I notice Flo looking over my shoulder and getting distracted. I do a 180 and grumble as there is a guy working out over on the beach. “Can you stop checking out guys right now and focus?”
Her eyes circle back to me, and she gives me a contrite smile. “I don’t need to focus. It’s obvious what you want, but you’re waiting for a push. One that can only come from yourself, actually, since you need to be walking into his arms, ready to pick out new towels and writing grocery lists, completely sure of your decision.”
Blowing out a breath, I become agitated again. “It’s just, moving, and here and?—”
