Because I can’t tell him about the baby.
6
ISLA
I’m the first to arrive at Hadley and Connor’s house for Christmas dinner. Funnily enough, I was on wine duty. Not that I can have any, but I think I picked up a few excellent bottles. Quickly excusing myself after trying some cheese from the charcuterie board, I went upstairs to change, as I was still in my yoga pants and sweatshirt to conquer this winter day. Now, I just want to change into something cute.
Instead, I’m sitting on the edge of the bed in the guest room and a waterfall of tears hits me.
I didn’t tell Vaughn. I’m pregnant, and nobody knows. It will be a while until I show, although the array of emotions and nausea just seems to hit me in full force.
Sniffling away a tear, it’s hopeless, as a fresh one hits my cheek.
“Isla?” I hear Hadley’s voice. Just great, ruin the host’s gathering.
The door that was slightly ajar opens with a little bit of hesitation, and Hadley finds me a hot mess on the bed.
“What’s wrong?” She sounds concerned.
What the hell, I need someone right now. I thought I could do this all, alone or with Vaughn as co-parents. I’m unraveling, and in ten minutes I need to be downstairs to smile at everyone while we stare in awe at April, Hadley’s mom’s cooking that she’s bringing over.
“Hadley, I need to tell you something,” I cry. “I can’t keep it in anymore.”
“You’re scaring me,” she tells me as she comes to sit next to me. Hadley touches my arm in comfort. “It’s okay. If you don’t like my attempt at a charcuterie board, you can tell me. Is that what it is?”
I have to smile through my tears at her statement. “It’s delicious, just my stomach didn’t agree.”
Hadley frowns. “Oh gosh, I can’t afford to poison people, not when a hockey team is relying on two of the guys at dinner tonight.”
“They’ll be fine. It’s me. All me… I’m pregnant.” Whoosh, there, I said it.
Her eyes survey my body as if she’s checking that I’m not joking, then it turns to shock. “What?”
“Well, ten weeks to be exact.”
“Huh?” She can’t formulate words. “How?”
“A hurricane,” I hiccup as I swipe another tear away.
Her eyes swim side to side as she registers my timeline. “As in…”
I blow out a long breath. “Nobody knows. Not even…” It’s difficult to say Vaughn’s name now, and I’m not sure if that’s because I feel guilt for not telling him or sadness that he so clearly has no interest in having a family of his own anytime soon.
“Vaughn Madden,” she croaks out.
I nod and grab a throw pillow to hug. “Isn’t this a fun Christmas,” I say sarcastically.
Hadley’s hand travels up to my shoulder. “Why doesn’t he know?”
“I haven’t told him. First because I thought he was with someone, and then last night he said a few things that make it clear he would have no interest in this development.” I glance down at my belly, still the same as ten weeks ago.
“He has a right to know, even if he doesn’t want to be involved. Don’t you think?”
I swallow and feel ashamed, even though that’s not her intention. “You can’t tell anyone, not even Connor. You promise?”
She nods. “It’s not my information to share. I promise… but I think you should tell Vaughn.”
“It wasn’t the right moment. He said it himself that he only wants to focus on his last season without distraction.”
