Curiosity got the best of me, and I carefully got myself down, stopping just outside the front door when I saw Cap standing inthe middle of the room, trying to talk down a man who had a gun against his head.
Tears were streaming down his face, and he was breathing so erratically.
“Come on, Darrius, put the gun down. It’s not worth it. Greg wouldn’t want this for you.”
“Greg’s dead!” he shouted. “He’s not coming back. I have nothing to live for anymore. Cheryl left me, and here I am, living alone, a fucking failure at life.”
My heart ached for the man, and I felt my stomach and heart clench at the same time. He looked so broken—ready to end it right here.
“Have you gone fishing lately?”
Darrius waved the gun at Cap, who had his hands out, trying to pacify him. “Fishing doesn’t work anymore. Especially when you’re alone.”
“I’m sorry, Darrius. I’ve just been busy lately…”
A floorboard squeaked beneath my foot, and both men looked my way. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I stepped inside, cautiously making my way over to the two men.
“Who the fuck is she? Is this why you’re so busy? Is this why you couldn’t be bothered to show up on Greg’s birthday to go fishing with me?”
Cap hung his head in defeat. “That was yesterday, wasn’t it?”
Darrius’ eyes narrowed. “Yes!” He started hysterically sobbing. “I’m sitting here alone in my grief on the anniversary of my son’s birth, and you were out fucking some hoe on the street.”
That one stung a bit.
Before Cap could answer, I stepped between them. “Hi, Darrius, is it? I’m Ruby.”
“So what?”
“Cap was with me, but not because of what you’re thinking. It’s because I’m like you.”
His eyes were swallowed by despair and malice, and the emptiness inside of them felt like a sword to the heart. His brow furrowed, and the grip on his gun tightened.
“You’re nothing like me.”
“You’re grieving, right?”
He didn’t move.
“Well, I’m grieving too. I was exactly where you were almost three weeks ago. Cap found me on the floor of my bedroom after swallowing a bunch of pills. I felt like taking my own life was the only way to end my suffering and join my husband in the afterlife.”
The gun lowered just a bit, and I saw his hardened gaze soften with understanding.
“Cap saved my life that day. And he’s kept me going since then. It’s why he forgot about the anniversary of your son’s birthday. And for that, I’m truly sorry. I’m sure he didn’t mean to. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love. I could never imagine what it’s like to lose a child, but from the heartbreak I see in your eyes, I know that what you’re going through is exactly what I felt myself—feel myself. I’m still in that dark head space I was in back then, but it fluctuates. Sometimes I feel like it’s okay to keep going, and other days, I feel like I’m betraying him by continuing to breathe.”
The gun clattered to the ground, the brokenhearted man collapsing to the floor as he cried into his hands, sobbing in a desperate, guilty rage as tears spilled over his palms.
“It’s just not fair!” he shouted. “He was so young. He had so much life left to live. He was only five years old! It’s my fault he’s gone. I should’ve been watching him better.”
Cap touched his shoulder, leaning down until he was face to face with the man. He couldn’t be much older than us, latethirties at best. One would even call him handsome. He was nothing compared to my Chase, or Cap for that matter, but he wasn’t a bad-looking guy. He was tall, with dark mocha colored skin, jet black hair that was cut short to his head, and a broken smile that I’m sure would melt the panties off any woman who came close to him when it wasn’t turned upside down and quivering. The way he was shuddering with each gut-wrenching sob, had me breaking apart inside. I could feel his pain, like it was gripping my soul and holding it captive.
“Come on, Man. We’ve talked about this. What happened to Greg wasn’t your fault. It could’ve happened to anyone.”
“But it happened to me, Nicholas. Not you. Not her. Me.”
Cap gripped his shoulder, doing his best to calm him down. “Let’s get our poles and go fishing, Darrius. We’ll talk through this.”
He shook his head. “It’s not going to help. Nothing helps anymore.”
