‘We would need to postpone the tour and, if vocal therapy doesn’t work, you might need to go in for surgery.’
‘Surgery,’ I gasp. ‘Can we get Mimi and Jess back in here?’
The doctor opens the door and the other three trail in. Luc mimes ‘are you okay?’ and gives me a thumbs up. I wince and shake my head.
‘Could you please explain to Mimi what’s going on?’ I ask the doctor.
She repeats what she told me, a ringing in my ears blocking everything out. Mimi nods along, not looking too concerned at all. Luc sits next to me on the sofa, his fingers tracing circles on my arm.
‘I must stress that if this goes untreated, Sienna could damage her vocal cords forever,’ the doctor says. ‘It’s of the utmost importance that she rests her voice until the tour and that, if things haven’t improved, we postpone.’
Mimi shakes her head. ‘I’ve been on the phone to Sienna’s label all morning and they said they will not postpone under any circumstances.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘I’ve been asking them for weeks, since her voice first started playing up.’
‘Money-grabbing bastards,’ Jess grumbles under her breath.
‘If she’s sick, surely they have to?’ Luc says.
‘Apparently not with the “come rain or shine” clause in the contract.’
‘Let’s see what we can do to improve the situation in the next three months,’ the doctor says. ‘I’ll meet with you once a month for more scans, and I’ll recommend a top vocal therapist to help you through it. But, in the meantime, I recommend looking at the set list and seeing if there are any songs which would unnecessarily strain your voice and switching them out for something else. And I wouldn’t sing any songs start to finish on tour – you’ll have to find places to lip sync.’
I thank her, and she leaves to go to her next patient. I’m left feeling like I’ve been wrung out of all my substance and I’m watching it wash away down the drain.
Mimi has brought over a stack of papers and the new-to-me knowledge that the pre-sale tickets go on sale in a few weeks – Thursday, August fourteenth – for those who have preordered the album or who are signed up to the newsletter. General sale is the following day and then we’ll know if I sold out the UK leg of the tour. Whether the plan with Luc is working quickly enough.
We look over the setlist again, ready to make those last-minute culling decisions the doctor recommended. I cross outLong YearfromPrivacy Piracyand replace it withNot My Best IdeafromInfinite Ghost. It’s recently gone viral again on social media with a trend of people sharing something stupid they did when they were younger, sparked by how I’ve recently turned my life around from ‘stupid decisions’ like Benji into Luc.
Long Yearis one of those songs which was popular at the time, but it feels like its popularity is falling away slightly now. And it isn’t the easiest song to sing for my voice. The fans won’t expectNot My Best Ideato be on the setlist – I haven’t sung it live since theInfinite Ghosttour.
‘TheNot My Best Ideatrend was one of Jess’s best ideas to turn things around,’ Mimi smiles.
‘That was you?’ I look at Jess.
‘I didn’t want to tell you in case it didn’t work but I spoke with a few of the fan accounts, and they agreed to try something. It looks like it caught on,’ Jess says. ‘We’re trying to remind people we’ve all been there.’
‘It’s very good work, Sienna. You and Luc have exceeded expectations,’ Mimi applauds.
The familiar heat rises in my body, and I scratch my chest. Does she somehow know? That rules were broken?
Mimi shows us sketches for each of the outfits, multiple options for all four acts to rotate around on a nightly basis. There are various options for all the different parts of the show. I could change it up every night and make sure that none are ever the same. She lays out all the options on the breakfast bar.
‘We need to decide which of these you’d like made first for night one, and which you’d like made last, and whether there are any you don’t want at all?’
‘Wow, Mimi. This really is no expenses spared.’
‘The demand for tickets has increased so much since you’ve been doing more normal things,’ Mimi looks at both me and Luc. ‘The biggest peaks in email subscribers have come after pottery painting and the theatre – I could never have expected this. We had a three thousand per cent increase in subscribers just last night alone.’
I look at my hands, Luc’s words turning over in my head.Because we’re us and not because we’re anyone.
‘It looks like the audience enjoys seeing you do normal things. It makes you more relatable. Keep it up.’
I simply smile in response.
‘I think we need to continue on that trajectory.’ Mimi pulls over her notebook with the details of my relationship with Luc.
We’re strategising again. I enjoyed it when Luc and I were doing our own thing, but I need to remember this is a business arrangement.
‘There are no movie premieres and charity galas. We have to be careful, obviously, of shoving the relationship down people’s throats.’ Mimi nods and waits for me to catch up.
