Not you too, Rory.
‘These pictures are beautiful,’ Mauve continues, opening the paper to show me where there are more photos of me. There are some of me looking – I’ll be honest – downright miserable when I walked into the restaurant, but when I leave there is something radiant in my complexion. Maybe it’s my smile. Or sweat. But Mauve and Rory, and hopefully the rest of the world too, will put that down to Luc. Being in love with my ‘new man’.
I say it’s the wine and small portion sizes.
‘But… next time you do go out with Luc,’ Mauve starts. ‘Do you think you could iron your dress? It’s so creased.’
There we go.
‘I did. It’s creased from sitting down.’ I pause. ‘Or do you want me to eat standing up next time, too?’
Rory and Mauve burst into fits of laughter like they’re watching their favourite comedian at The Royal Albert Hall.
‘Maybe wear a crease-free material then,’ Mauve advises.
‘How did you and Luc rekindle things?’ Rory asks. ‘I didn’t know you were back in contact.’
‘They bumped into each other atEric Lancaster’s Laughs. Didn’t you, Sienna?’ Mauve looks pleased to be in the know of something Rory isn’t for once.
‘It was Mimi, actually.’ Now’s my chance. ‘She reconnected us.’
‘Oh, how lovely of her.’ Mauve holds her hands in a connected fist to her chest and closes her eyes. ‘All we ever want is for you to be happy, Sienna.’
‘Yeah, erm. So, Luc and I aren’t actually together,’ I spit out.
‘Of course not. It’s only been one date.’
‘No, I mean… We’re never going to be.’ Why can’t I get out what I want to say? I’ve been rehearsing all morning. ‘We’re faking it. We’re pretending so that the world thinks I’ve settled down.’
Mauve’s face sours, eyebrows drawing together, lips pinched in a pout. I can’t help but think it kind of looks like a cat’s bum. ‘Why on earth would you ever want to do that?’
Rory’s brow furrows. ‘That doesn’t sound like a good idea, Sienna.’ He folds his arms across his chest. ‘Sounds like a lot of pain waiting to happen.’
I take a deep breath. ‘I know what I’m doing, don’t worry. Mimi knows what she’s doing, too.’ I shake my head. ‘There’s a lot of negative reaction to the way I’ve been living my life… not settling down. It’s been going on for years,’ I explain, like they haven’t seen it. ‘But more people are starting to jump on that now.’ I swallow down the excess saliva in my mouth quickly. ‘But Mimi thinks there’s only so long society will… tolerate a single, successful woman. And that we’re locked into contracts with venues for the tour… I need to essentially fill those seats to not break contracts and have the tour flop.’ I run my hands through my hair. ‘Basically, Mimi says it’s necessary,’ I sigh.
They blink back at me.
‘It’s okay. I know you only want what’s best for me,’ I add.
I’m nodding, looking in their eyes and silently beggingthem to see this from my perspective. That I don’t want to do this either, but I’m scared to lose my career. They need to understand that. This is what will make me happy in the long run. I won’t get hurt. Luc won’t get hurt. It’ll all be fine. We have clear boundaries.
‘But I need to do this for my career,’ I add.
Mauve is still gaping at me, opening and closing her mouth like she wants to say something.
‘If you’re sure, Sie,’ Rory fills in for her. ‘You can always talk to us, if you need to.’
Mauve is still doing that thing with her mouth, like she’s trying to win an Oscar for best fish impression. I don’t think she’s even breathed.
‘Everything will be fine,’ I repeat. If I repeat it enough, maybe I’ll start to believe it. I click my index finger and immediately regret it – I kicked that habit long ago. ‘It’s only until the tour starts anyway.’
‘We’ll support you with whatever you decide.’ Mauve grits her teeth, like Rory has kicked her under the table to prompt a response. ‘But… don’t you ever want to settle down, Sienna?’
My ears start ringing.
‘You are getting a bit older now, and I really thought all these men in your twenties were just a phase,’ Mauve tuts.
The room shifts on its axis.
