TRACK 4 | SIENNA MARTIN
You know that feeling when years have passed since anevent and now you look back at it with rose-tinted glasses. At some point along the way, it became the most fun thing you’ve ever done. ‘Glitter After Party’ is about that, but also on the surface about how much more fun an afterparty is. Everyone you don’t like goes to a different person’s house to celebrate, you can take your heels off and be yourself, have fun with your friends.
Falling asleep in the car– or any mode of transport, for that matter – is great because it’s the closest we’ll ever come to teleportation. Closing your eyes in one place and waking up in another. Delightful.
Kareem’s car seat hugs me, a faint warm breeze flowing through the small holes in the upholstery. Like I’m wrapped up in my duvet again, the movement of the car rocking me to sleep. Having someone else nearby makes me feel safer, protected.
The heat has broken, leaving the rain a sheet ofmist in the air, thick but fine, when I leave my house. I pack my headphones and a romance book for the forty-minute journey to Mauve’s house just outside of north Watford. The windscreen wipers slice across the glass quickly, smearing the droplets before the screen is completely soaked again. A very British May weekend. How unfortunate for all those people who have worked through the heat all week looking forward to a Saturday picnic. They should have known better than planning one.
A message from Mimi stares back at me on my phone screen.
MIMI
Good work last night. Keep it up.
Kareem parks up outside Mauve’s house and pulls out a book. No point in him going home when he wouldn’t be there for long before he has to come back again.
I’ve offered him to come in multiple times, but he prefers sitting in his car, listening to the radio and reading his book. It’s time he can finally have to himself, especially with a young baby at home. I always tell him to text me, and I’ll bring him out a drink, a meal, or let him in to use the toilet. He rarely takes me up on it, though.
‘What are you reading today, Kareem?’ I ask him, gathering my things in the back of my car and digging the sleep from the corners of my eyes with my fingernail.
‘The new John Grisham, have you read it?’
‘Not yet. I’ll put it on my list if you give it a good review, though.’
My raincoat in one hand and crossbody bag clutched in the other, I use my little finger to open the car door. I run up the steps to get out of the rain, Kareem watching me until I’m safely inside.
‘Hello.’
Neither Mauve nor Rory returns my greeting, but I canhear them both. Low, whispered voices. I follow the sounds to my right and into the large kitchen at the front of the house. My mother sits at the island in the middle of the room, while Rory leans against a cabinet, steam spilling from the spout of the kettle behind him.
Rory clears his throat when he sees me, standing up straighter. ‘Hey, Sie.’ He coughs. ‘Want a cup of tea?’
‘Go on then,’ I reply, dropping my bag outside the kitchen door and slipping my shoes off. The cold floor, even through my socks, makes me feel at home. ‘What were you guys talking about?’
‘Oh, nothing,’ Rory dismisses, pouring water on a teabag.
I pull out a chair at the island next to my mother and it’s immediately clear what they’re talking about.The Mirroris on the table in front of us, a huge picture covering half the front page. Me and Luc on my doorstep last night, his lips against my forehead. The front door has been edited out. The headline is written in capital letters. Three words.SIENNA’S IN LOVE!Mauve moves the paper to reveal theDaily Mailunderneath. Another picture of me. This time Luc and I leaving the restaurant, with a smaller version of him kissing my forehead. It’s so zoomed in that only our heads are visible. The headline is much the same:SIENNA’S NEW MAN.
I expect Mauve to react badly. To tell me that it isn’t fair on Luc that I’m using him like this. That if I want to be on my own, I should be. I expect her to be annoyed that I only told her after the fact.
But when I look at her, there are tears in her eyes and she’s smiling at me. ‘Sienna, this is wonderful.’
How am I supposed to tell her that Luc and I aren’t actually together? The longer I leave it, the worse it’ll be. And she’ll be even more annoyed if I tell her after it’s ended that it was never real. Unless I never tell her? Maybe I’ll always let her think that Luc and I are together and then when we break up, I can say it’s because it didn’t work?
Until I consider I am maybe the worst liar in the world. She’ll guess within minutes of me talking about it. About him.
And it’s in our rules. Our families know it’s fake.
I can’t break a rule already.
‘What’s wonderful?’ I buy myself time, a crack in my voice. I clear my throat.
‘You and Luc. Back together.’ She’s grinning like the Cheshire Cat. ‘You look so happy. I haven’t seen you look this happy in so long.’
I’m about to break her heart and I can feel it. My bones vibrate. Another way I’ll disappoint Mauve.
Rory puts his hand on mine. ‘I’m really happy for you, Sie.’
