My life is chaos. It’s a lot of travelling, a lot of publicity. I can’t go to a restaurant without being followed by someone. I don’t know anyone who would want to welcome that into their lives. I’m not worth it. I never have been. Even those already in the public eye find it too much in those few times I’ve tried dating.
The only time I’ve everwantedit to work was with Luc, but even that didn’t work.
It never works. I’m tired of failing.
‘I was thinking Luc Nicholls,’ Mimi says.
My eyes dart to Jess, and her gaze stiffens. Her eyes scream that it wasn’t her idea. She’d never do this to me.
‘No. No way.’ I shake my head and slam my hand on the table. ‘Not happening.’
‘Sienna, I’ve been through a lot of options and, trust me, Luc is the best one.’
‘What about Jonny?’ I offer. ‘People are always saying they want to see us together.’
‘I did make enquiries about Jonny,’ Mimi says. ‘But his team say he needs to focus on his last season before retirement.’
‘Soren MacGowen?’
‘Didn’t you say you hated him when he left for the States?’ Jess offers unhelpfully.
‘Luc is the best option,’ Mimi repeats. ‘You can seem like you’re settling down more with someone who is… steady. Not in the public eye.’
‘There are billions of people not in the public eye. It really doesn’t have to be Luc.’
I won’t survive this, my heart screams.
No one says anything.
‘Luc would never agree to this,’ I say.
Mimi sits up straighter, flicking her hair over her shoulder. ‘Actually, I’ve already asked.’
Every millilitre of blood in my body rushes to my head. ‘And he… said yes?’ My stomach drops.
‘He said yes,’ Mimi repeats.
‘Mimi, I don’t want it to be with Luc.’ It’s like I’m not in the room. No one is listening to me.
‘Sienna, you need to do this with someone you trust,’ Mimi says slowly. ‘And this redemption arc of your relationship ten years later is perfect for the narrative we want to spin. You’ve always trusted him.’ She pauses. ‘He’s the best fit.’
‘Why would he say yes?’ I’m incredulous.
‘You can ask him that,’ Mimi takes a mouthful of her coffee. ‘Your first public appearance with him will be tomorrow.’
CHAPTER 4
NOT EASY
TRACK 12 | SWEETHEARTS INSIDE AT NIGHT
Writing ‘Not Easy' was something that I was never capable ofnotwriting. It was the final song I wrote for the album, after everything had happened and ended with Luc. I was devastated. I’d never felt pain like it. It was like there was a hole in my chest for my heart to slowly leak out of.
I had to let him know that what I did wasn’t easy. It wasn’t something that was second nature to me. Well… it was. But not with him. He had to know that Ineededto do it, it wasn’t awant.
There are alreadypaparazzi gathered outside Down Lowe’s when I arrive. Dennis opens the car door for me, and I swing my legs out as gracefully as I can in an asymmetric dress. My stylist went for a YSL number this time, cobalt blue with a halter neck and black Louboutin stilettos with a bow at my heel.
Dennis takes my hand and helps me to stand. The cameras flash, capturing me from every angle. They’ve been warned that I’m going to be here. Jess and Mimi’s plan in motion.
