“I know,” Grey whispered. She reached up to tuck Lauren’s hair behind her ears as she kissed her again. Her eyes fluttered shut as she lost herself in the sweet taste of Lauren’s lips and the feeling of Lauren’s hands fisting her shirt at her waist, tugging her closer as the futility of their situation threatened to overwhelm them both. She kissed Lauren harder, pouring herself into the caress as her eyes stung with tears she refused to shed. “What do you need, sweetie?”
“You.” Lauren used her hold on Grey’s shirt to tug her toward the salon.
“You have me,” Grey whispered. She fused their mouths together again as they stumbled backward step-by-step, the promise of physical contact a balm to their slowly breaking hearts. The irony of the situation did not escape Grey as they stripped each other down in her cabin, fingers skimming over soft skin in a desperate bid to forget. To pretend that everything was okay. She had lost herself in this particular dance too many times to not recognize it.
“God, Grey, please,” Lauren breathed as Grey settled on top of her.
“I know,” Grey whispered. She nipped at Lauren’s throat as their hands moved in concert down each other’s bodies in a blind search for the softness and heat that would chase away their demons, if only for a little while.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
GREY DROPPED ONTO one of the banquettes on the back deck, and groaned when the movement made the beer in her hand bubble over. She set the bottle onto the table as she flicked her hand twice to shake most of the spilled beer off before wiping it dry on her shorts. “Perfect.”
At this point, she was not even surprised that something else had gone wrong. The day had been a mess from the moment she and Lauren had slept through their alarm. Once they scrambled out of bed, the morning passed in a blur of blueberry pancakes and choppy seas on the sail from Cane Garden Bay to Sandy Spit. What should have been an easy sail was anything but, and instead of enjoying a few hours alone while their guests frolicked on the islet, Grey and Lauren ended up playing hostess to Mia and Harrison, who had stayed back on the boat, looking more than a little green-in-the-gills from the rough ride. Things had thankfully gotten better after the group returned to the boat for a late lunch. The sail back over to Soper’s Hole had been much calmer, and by the time she and Lauren finished securing the last mooring line at their reserved slip in the marina, Mia and Harrison had recovered enough to join their friends for their already planned night out. Grey had never been so relieved to see her guests off as she hadbeen when she pointed the group in the direction of Pusser’s Landing and bid them goodnight.
“Everything okay?” Lauren asked as she wandered out of the salon with a bottle of Blackbeard Ale hanging limply from her fingers.
Just the sight of Lauren made Grey smile, and she slid further into the banquette and patted the seat beside her. “It is now.”
Lauren made a small sound of understanding as she sat beside Grey. She glanced at Grey out of the corner of her eye as their legs brushed together, and smiled when Grey’s right hand dropped to her thigh. Lauren sipped at her beer as Grey’s fingers began stroking lightly over her leg, and looked out over the boardwalk that was already teeming with tourists, despite the fact that twilight had not yet fallen. Reggae music from the band at Pusser’s drifted over the water, faint and indistinct, though Lauren imagined she could hear the rattle of the snare drum and the heavy beats laid down by the bass guitar.
Grey stroked her fingers over Lauren’s thigh as she sipped her beer, down around the curve of her knee, up to the hem of her shorts, and back again, grateful that Lauren seemed content to just sit with her for a while. She tried to focus on the feeling of Lauren’s skin beneath her fingertips as she drew lazy spirals and swirls on her leg, but her thoughts nevertheless drifted to the fact that this was Lauren’s next-to-last night on the boat.
A lump lodged itself in Grey’s throat, and she took long swallow of her beer to try and force it down. She was determined to take what time they had left together and cherish every moment. Grey blinked hard and let out a quiet, shuddering breath as she valiantly tried to control herself. She and Lauren had talked earlier about going into town and grabbing dinner at Pusser’s, but she did not want to share Lauren with anyone else. She wanted to be selfish. To keep Lauren to herself. To lose herself in the taste ofher kiss, and hopefully forget, if only for a little while, how much it was going to hurt to watch her walk away. “You wanna just stay-in tonight?”
Lauren looked over at Grey, who looked as haunted, unable to even force a fake smile, and nodded. “Sure.”
“Good.” Grey finished her beer and set the empty bottle onto the table. Her fingers pressed into the soft skin of Lauren’s inner thigh as she brushed a kiss over the corner of Lauren’s mouth, and she sighed when Lauren’s lips turned to meet her own. They kissed slowly, heads inclining together as mouths opened and tongues stroked against each other in a familiar, graceful dance that was about so much more than simple desire.
It did not take long for their kisses to become deeper as they turned toward each other, fingers digging into flesh and fabric in a desperate attempt to find a level of closeness that just did not physically exist. The sweet promise of blissful escape laced every clash of lips, and Lauren whimpered when Grey’s hand on her thigh moved higher, long fingers dipping beneath her shorts to tease her through her panties. She gasped when Grey’s touch slid high enough to make her hips twitch, and pulled back just far enough to whisper, “Take me to bed,” before reclaiming Grey’s lips with her own.
The sound of the cabin door clicking shut went unheard by either of them as they shuffled together toward the bed. Clothes fell to the floor in random bursts, a shirt here, a pair of shorts there, until there was nothing left between them. The sheets were cool to the touch as Grey guided Lauren back onto the bed, their lips clasped in a kiss that was a potent mix of desperation and pure emotion.
Lauren wrapped her hands around Grey’s hips and pulled the brunette down on top of her as she lay back on the bed, and her breath caught at the feeling of Grey’s settling so naturally in the cradle of her thighs. Their kisses gentled to a degree that madeLauren’s heart ache, and she swallowed thickly around a lump that had lodged itself in her throat as Grey’s lips began trailing over her jaw.
Grey’s hands wrapped lightly around Lauren’s ribs as she kissed her way down her throat, lingering on the spots that made Lauren gasp before moving on, every brush of lips a tender declaration she did not have the courage to speak aloud. She flicked the tip of her tongue over the hollow at the base of Lauren’s throat, and dragged her nose over the line of her sternum. A lingering kiss was pressed to the spot above Lauren’s heart before Grey moved on, mapping the supple curves of Lauren’s body in a languid exploration. Wet kisses and gentle nips that left Lauren’s skin pink and glistening marked her path, one that she silently prayed no one else would ever follow.
Her pulse slowed to a steady, heavy beat as she worshipped Lauren with lips and teeth and tongue. She lost herself in the sweet taste of Lauren's desire, was lulled by the feeling of strong hips rolling against her mouth. The silky brush of Lauren's thighs against her cheeks was hypnotic; the soft whimpers and mewls tumbling from her lips more enchanting than any siren's song. Her stomach fluttered at the feeling of Lauren’s fingers combing lightly through her hair, and her stomach clenched at the sight of Lauren arched above her with her head thrown back in pleasure.
She was entranced. Ensnared. And she never wanted to break free.
Grey knew by the quickening of Lauren’s hips that she was close, and she brought her over the edge with a few final tender flicks of her tongue. She watched, spellbound as Lauren trembled above her, the sounds of Lauren’s pleasure stoking her own until her body seized with a gentler, sympathetic orgasm.
She eased Lauren through the length of her release and then, when her trembling eased, leaned her cheek against Lauren’s inner thigh, content to watch her bask in the afterglow.
This is all I need, she thought to herself as her eyes swept over Lauren’s spent form, tracking the gentle rise and fall of her chest.Just this. Just her.
Her heart began to beat faster with the realization that Lauren was leaving soon, heading back to New York and a life that did not include her, and she sucked a sharp breath in through her nose as reality slammed back into her with all the force and forgiveness of a runaway train.
She turned her head into Lauren’s leg and squeezed her eyes shut against the sting of tears that threatened, but it did no good as a few leaked out anyway. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the whimper she could feel bubbling in her throat from escaping. Ever since Emily had gotten sick, she had not expected much of the world beside hurt and pain. She had been content to drift from one moment to the next, occasionally finding a rare burst of happiness, but mostly just existing in a world painted gray. But here, now, with tiny fissures spreading across the surface of her heart—her heart that Lauren had somehow made whole again—she allowed herself to hope for something more than the half-life she had been living.
Her gaze landed on Lauren’s, and her heart skipped a beat. She knew that she should not do it, but hope had sprung recklessly in her veins and she could not resist its seductive pull. “Stay.” The plea was a shaky whisper that barely tumbled past her lips, but she knew Lauren had heard by the way her mouth fell open and her eyes widened in surprise.
“Grey, I…” Lauren shook her head, wishing that things were that simple.
Grey’s heart pounded wildly in her throat as she swept up Lauren’s body to press their foreheads together. “Please,” she begged softly, laying her heart on the line as she stared beseechingly into Lauren’s eyes. “Stay with me.”
Lauren sighed, hating how, just at the sound, Grey seemed to deflate in front of her. “I can’t.”
