“Don’t let go,” she whispered, a second before her eyes went wide. “I mean, of course you can. You don’t have to hold my hand.”
Her voice was so quiet Hawk barely heard her. But the words sank in and soured his stomach.
“Sweetheart, if I thought I could get away with it, I’d be holdingyouright there in that bed during this. But since I know I can’t, you better believe I’m holding onto your hand.”
A knock sounded at the door, and Birdie slipped into the room.
“Hi, Jess. Oh, Hawk, I’m glad you were able to make it.”
“Hey, Birdie.”
“Is something wrong?” Jessie asked. “Why are you here for this?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. I asked Dr. Reed to put in an orderfor an ultrasound before I got here, and since they had some wiggle room in the schedule, I figured we could just do the anatomy scan now, since you’re already here. That way we don’t have to have you come back to the hospital a second time next week to get it done. I’m just in here to watch and make sure we can get your discharge paperwork processed a little quicker. Perks of having family watching over you.”
“Thank you,” Jessie whispered.
Birdie hit the light switch and the room darkened, except for the screen by Jessie’s bedside that illuminated. And then, in an instant, their baby was front and center.
“She’s so much bigger than I was imagining,” Hawk choked back his emotions.
“Yeah, he is.” Jessie’s eyes never left the monitor, but her fingers squeezed down on his and he chuckled at her teasing.
“If you look right here, your baby is waving hello.”
“Oh, we’ll make sure you take that picture home for the fridge. How cute!” Birdie cooed from the foot of the bed.
Twenty minutes later, they’d seen almost all of their baby from their precious head all the way down to their tiny toes. Hawk had never been so mesmerized before. Or so in love.
“Are you interested in finding out the sex of the baby today?”
Jessie’s eyes left the screen for the first time and found his. “I thought we had another week. What do you think?”
Yes.Fuck yes. Daughter. Son. It didn’t matter to Hawk. But fuck yeah, he’d love to know.
“It’s up to you, Jess.”
She bit her bottom lip, smiling before the last little bit of it broke free. “Yeah. Who am I kidding? I’m dying to know. They were a surprise, but that doesn’t mean everything through this experience has to be, right?”
“Thank god,” he chuckled. “I’m dying to know, too.”
“Alright.” The ultrasound technician smiled as she clickedher mouse and rolled a button on the console. “The baby might be shy about showing their face, but they aren’t being shy about this. Congratulations. It looks like you’re having a baby girl.”
A girl.A baby girl.A tiny human who was going to a mini version of the woman he loved. Hawk brought Jessie’s hand up to his mouth, pressing a kiss against the cold skin. He’d expected to see her smiling back at him, but her eyes were focused on her bump, the hand not captured in his own gently cradling her side. There was absolutely no emotion on her face.
“This is incredible,” he whispered. “I’m so happy we’re having a girl. You’re a girl mom!” His voice caught in his throat, deepening an octave. “I’m a girl dad. Oh, hell yeah! Gunner and Nash and Seb aren’t going to hold a candle to me! I’m going to be the best girl dad in the whole world, Jess. I swear it.”
Her eyes finally met his, and for a moment, a flood of emotions filled the space between them before he watched the wall slam into place. She smiled, nodding her head. “I know you will be. Birdie… everything looks okay, doesn’t it?” Jessie asked.
“She’s beautiful and right on track.” Hawk squared his shoulders, ready to step in and say something, but before he could, that incredible whooshing noise, the one that was quickly becoming his favorite sound in the world after Jessie’s laugh, filled the space again.
Kristen smiled. “And I’ll let you listen to this perfect heartbeat for a moment more before I have to go.”
“Thank you.” Jessie’s voice was quiet as her eyes drifted closed.
A minute later, the ultrasound tech handed Hawk a cloth, and he wiped the sticky gel off Jessie’s stomach.She never moved. Her eyes stayed closed. Her lips pressed tightly together.
The room cleared, and it was almost like he could hear Jess’s panicked thoughts racing through the air.
