He hands me a big green gift bag, and I look inside, pulling out the tissue paper. “What’s this?” He smiles as I pull out the giant fluffy blanket. It’s insanely soft.
“Here, let me help.” He takes it from me, spreading out the giant plush blanket. “I made this a couple of weeks ago.” I observe the photo collage. Somehow he’s used the ones from my office. Some of me during games. A photo of my sister and niece. My favorite photo of Oli, Andre, and me fishing. Then there’s one on the bottom that catches my eye. It’s Felix and me in bed. A selfie he took weeks ago. There are some of my teammates, and then the Otters logo in the middle with my jersey number in the center.
I can’t speak.
“I thought, you know, like you said. Who doesn’t love a big blanket?” He blushes. “It’s a little lame. I mean you have plenty and I just—” I reach forward, grabbing him to me and pulling him between my legs. “Grey?”
“Kiss me, Felix. Right now.”
Heat pours into his eyes as he kisses me hard. Emotion swirls in my chest. I can’t breathe. This is the sweetest thing I think anyone has ever done for me.
“Thank you.”
“It’s just a blanket,” he breathes against my lips.
“It’s more than a blanket.”
He pulls back, smiling to himself and folding it up.
“I’ll put it up for now, in the living room. Don’t want to get sauce on it.” I watch him disappear into the connecting living room, thinking about everything that’s happened today.Hell, everything that’s happened this year. Felix has been the shining light at the center of it all. I want him so bad. I want him to be mine.
He steps back in and goes to the stove. “Dinner is ready.”
The food is delicious. Maybe this is how my days can look for now on. “Did you have a good day today with Landon?”
I smile. “Yeah, I did actually. Lianna is a beast on the ice. Takes after her uncle Oli.” Fuck, this tastes good. “This is incredible. You’re an amazing cook.”
He smiles sadly. “I had to learn.” The rest is clear.
Or else.
“Well, this is incredible. I can grill burgers and fry things, but that’s about it.”
“I like to cook, though he kind of took the joy out of it. If it didn’t taste good...” He moves his food around. “If it wasn’t good, he’d hurt me. So I learned really fast. I actually liked watching the Food Network. I used to record recipes I wanted to try.” He smiles, and while we’re having a nice dinner, I would really like him to share more of himself with me.
“Is there anything else you’d like to share with me?” He looks up. “Anything you want to talk about?”
Felix looks down at his plate then shakes his head. “We’re having a nice dinner. I don’t want to spoil it.”
“If you want to talk to me, that’s not spoiling anything. It’s you sharing yourself with me. I want to hear whatever you have to say. I mean it. Anything. Thoughts, fears, dreams. I want to hear it all.”
He sets his fork down and looks at me. “You know, for the longest time I’ve had to stay silent. Not ask too much. Not be too loud. It’s taken my brain some time to realize it’s okay for me to take up space again.”
If he doesn’t want to talk about the things he wentthrough, maybe he’ll talk about something else. “What did you want to be when you grew up?”
Felix thinks for a moment. “I never really thought much about it. I just wanted to have a job that made me enough money to survive. I started at the dentist’s office where I lived. I liked it. I made decent money. Then Steven and I moved in together and he wanted me to stay home.”
“And after?”
“I was too busy worrying about upsetting him to think about anything for myself. That’s what the journal was for.”
“And he never saw the journals?” I don’t tell him about the black one he left out. It might not even mean anything. Does it even matter? While I hadn’t checked the media the day after our kiss, I know it was everywhere, and if Steven’s been tracking me like I think, he’ll know by now. I don’t want to frighten him.
“No. I hid them. I was home during the day, and that’s when I wrote in them. Once I filled one, I’d throw it away. Start over.”
I reach over the table to lace his fingers with mine. “Anytime you need to talk about anything, I’m here to listen, okay? About anything.”
He smiles gratefully, pulling his hand away. “Thank you.”
