“Have fun today, Coach. We love you.” Alyssa waves.
With my canein my hand, I head to campus. I’m bringing it just in case. At first, I wasn’t going to, but my man is bossy and persistent. I’m going to keep it here in my office. Practice starts on Monday, and I feel electricity buzzing at the thought of it. It’s the same feeling I used to get during training camp. I find the building I need, heading inside. I know Oli and Andre are already in hockey mode. They have a game in three weeks against the Hawks, and I will definitely be there.
I want to know how Atlas is doing.
It weighs on me. I don’t know how to navigate this new phase of our relationship. We used to talk every day before my accident. He told me I need to give him space, and I want to respect that, but the other part of me wants to ask him how training camp is? How has the new team been? Are they treating him well? Is Rome being a fucking dick?
I take my phone out and hover my finger over his number. Just a text. Just a quick one. Just to let him know I’m thinking about him.
“Shit!” Not paying attention, I run into someone. All their things crash to the ground. “Shit, I’m so sorry.” The student gets to his knees, gathering his things. I try my best to bend down and help him. “I’m so sorry.” We both grab for a book, and it takes me a second to see the half-naked man on the cover. “Um, here.” I hand him the book, standing up and cupping his elbow to help him up.
Bright green eyes blink back at me. “As long as the book’s fine, no harm. Sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.” With his things firmly secure in his arms, he smiles atme. I almost laugh at the purple crop top that saysI’m too pretty for this.“Who are you, and please tell me you’re in all my classes?” he says, and looks at me from behind his glasses.
“Not a student. I’m the new hockey coach.”
“Hockey.” He sighs. “I love hockey.” His eyes do a slow crawl up and down. “If you’re teaching it, maybe I should take it up.”
“Take up? Hockey?”
He tucks his brown curls behind his ear. “How hard can it be?”
Oh, he’s fucking with me.“Get to class.” I wink at him.
“You got it, Coach Daddy.”
“It’s Coach Tremblay. Don’t you go giving me a reputation.” He laughs, mischief gleaming in his eyes. This boy is trouble. “You have a good day...”
“Noah. My name is Noah.” He gives me a little curtsy before spinning on his heels and giving his hips a littleoomphas he’s walking away. Shaking my head, I head down to the stadium to find my office.
Walking into my office,I take a moment for everything to sink in. I’d brought some boxes in last week, but haven’t had a chance yet to put things away. The first thing I do is take my photos out. One of Felix and me taking a hike before we left Oregon. One from Oli’s wedding, of the two of us. Then one of Atlas, Oli, and me fishing a couple of years ago. My favorite photo of us. Then the one of Lianna, Landon, and Alyssa.
My phone buzzes.
Felix: Have a great day, Coach. I love you.
A knock startles me and I look up. A student stands in the doorway. He’s a bit short for a hockey player, but I see the hoodie he’s wearing—Liberty State Hornets—only his proudly has a C on the front for Captain. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“No, please. Come in.” He lets himself in, and I reach out my hand to ease the nervous twitch he has. “Captain?”
“Yes.” He smiles wide. “My name is Hunter Russo. Wow, this is... this is unreal. I’m sorry. I told myself I’d be cool, but I feel very uncool right now. My heart.” He clutches his chest as if he can feel it.
“Take a breath. Trust me, I’m a lot less impressive than you think.”
He laughs at that and some of his nerves seem to ease. “It’s just, you’re my favorite player. Like ever. This is incredible. I can’t believe you’re here. I grew up watching you play.”
“Way to make a man feel old.” He laughs. “But thank you.”
He stands for a moment with unease radiating off him. “I’m um... I’m also gay, and wow, usually a lot better at talking. Players like you, Oli, and Andre... This is huge. I’ve played for a while, but I didn’t know if I wanted to play beyond high school. I didn’t think it was possible. I don’t want to hide my sexuality. Before Andre and Oli came out I didn’t think it was possible. Once they did, I knew then that I wanted to do this and I wasn’t going to hide who I am to play a sport I love more than anything. We shouldn’t have to. Then you, and I... I’m going to stop talking now.” He takes a deep breath.
My chest tightens while his words sink in. For the longest time I felt like it shouldn’t matter. And it shouldn’t. Unfortunately, we live in a world where it does matter. It matters so much.
Representation matters.
Queer players like Oli and me matter. Especially queer players of BIPOC communities like Andre and Theo Zepper from the Vermont Miners.
Visibility matters. Everyone deserves a shot. We all belong in this sport. We all deserve to take up space and live out our dreams and maybe inspire someone else’s. “That means more than I can possibly tell you right now.”
He smiles softly, looking at my desk. “Can I see?” I look at the photo of Oli and Andre on their wedding day, nodding, and hand it to him. “Wow, they look so handsome.” He smiles.
