“What it means.”
“What?”
“Not meant. No past tense bullshit. We’ll always be friends. I mean it, Atlas. You always have a place with me. I know Oli feels the same.” He follows me as I stand, and I hug him tight, rubbing his back. “I love you. You’re going to be amazing, I know it.” He squeezes me tighter.
“I’ll be okay. I just need to find myself. I’m so sorry. Please tell Felix I’m so sorry.”
“He knows.” We pull back, the tears in his eyes no doubt a mirror of my own. “You’ll be great.”
“Oh, I know I will.” He grins that cocky smirk. “Told Oli the cup is ours next year.”
When I get back home,I’m drained. My knee doesn’t bother me as much as it did at the start of the year, though. It’s still sore after everything, I just have to be careful, but since I’ve accepted this, it’s like my body feels better. Walking into my house, I see Felix doing dishes. “Hey.” He looks at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I had a little bit of a moment on the ride back home. I’m happy for Atlas, but still, there’s a sadness there. It’s pointless, because I’m leaving too. He’ll actually be closer to me. Maybe it’s just grieving the normal. Or what was our normal. Everything is changing.
Felix wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight. I love this gentle man with gentle hands.
Maybe change isn’t so bad.
“What happened?” He looks at me, concern in his beautiful brown eyes. “How’s Atlas?”
“He’s doing okay.” Or he will be. “He’s being traded.”
“What?”
I nod. “He’s moving to Virgina to play for the Vipers. It’s just sinking in now.”
“Does he know we’re moving to New York?” I nod but smile.We.
“Yes,weare.” I kiss him. “He said we have to go to his games in New York. And I have to wear his jersey.”
“I think you’ll look good in black and lime green.”
“Listen, I love you, but this body has never touchedanything other than seafoam green, tan, and white. I don’t think I even know how to wear another jersey.” He laughs.
“Yeah, well, what about navy and baby blue?” He drags his finger down the center of my chest. “With the Hornets logo on the front. Do you think they can make a custom one for the coach?” He grins. “One I can wear...” He leans in, his breath feather-light ghosting over my ear. “In private?”
Oh, hell yeah. “I’m sure that is going to be on the top of my list once we get there.” Earlier this year, I thought my hockey life was over. I was so wrong. My hockey career is just beginning, and I get to shape the next round of professional hockey players.
And I get to do all of it with this incredible man at my side.
He throws his arms around my neck, and my hands cup the back of his knees, lifting him with ease. “Come on, Coach.” His lips land on my neck. “Take me to bed.”
THIRTY FIVE
Grey
“How are you doing?” Felix whispers in my ear. I pull my attention from our Coach singing my praises. It’s been about half an hour of my colleagues, commentators, and family singing my talking about my life as a hockey player. I’m not a crier, but I’ve barely held it together. This game means the world to me, but knowing I’ve made an impact on everyone who has stood at that podium means more.
I look up and around, watching all the fans in the stands. The ice is bathed in soft green as we get through my jersey-retirement ceremony. I’ve thought a lot about this day and what it might look like.
Nothing in my dreams could have compared to this. My family is here. Oli is here. My friends from our team, and our coach. To add to it all, Felix is here beside me.
There’s just one more person I wish could be here, but he has his own path to walk down now. “I’m okay.” Felix’s hand squeezes in mine. My throat grows tight.
“Grey...” I look up at my best friend standing at thepodium, the current reason for the sting in my eyes as he recounts the career we’ve shared. It’s really over. It hits harder than I thought it would. I’m excited for the new chapter of my life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mourn my old one. “It’s been an honor to play the greatest game in the world in the greatest arena in the world. With the greatest fans in the world. Beside the greatest team in the world.” Everyone stands clapping hard. Oli waits for them to stop. “When I came to Oregon, I didn’t know anything about being a leader, but you taught me what it meant to be a leader, a captain, and a man.”
“Ah shit, I’m going to cry,” I whisper. Alyssa chuckles beside me, looping her arm around my shoulders as my hand tightens in Felix’s.
