We sit there for a while in silence as my mum holds me.
I listen to the birds flying overhead and feel the breeze along my skin. I let my mind empty and try to let go of all the tension. The small waves lap at the shore and along the pebbles. I smell the fresh air with a hint of pine and fir from the trees. From the trees a Doe and her young fawn emerge to drink at the lake. Mama and Bambi. Warmth and love fill my heart as I watch them thrive. More deer emerge and then a great Stag. He moves forward to stand with the fawn. Nuzzling it then he lifts his head to me. Even though I can't feel the gratitude I can see it in his posture and eyes. I nod to him with a smile.
We sit and just be for a while. Instead of trying to ground myself by feeling the flow of energy, I ground myself by just simply being. Using my senses to feel the forest instead of the energy flowing through it. Just like I used to do before I had my powers.
“I'm going to tell Dad.” I say matter-of-factly. “Without my powers the pack is in danger and they have a right to know. I can't lie to them anymore.”
“OK.” She says softly.
I turn my head to look back at the house and see my dad in a deep conversation with Lukas and Caleb. I get up and take a deep breath.
Here goes nothing.
I walk over to them and mum follows. I try to steady my heart rate but it won't cooperate. Lukas smiles as we approach but I see in his face the second he realises something isn't right. Honestly wolves have no business having senses that heightened. Dad notices just as fast.
“There's my girls! Is everything OK?” He takes my mums hand as he watches me.
“Dad I need to talk to you. Can we walk?” I say as calmly as I can.
“Of course!” He smiles but I see the concern lining his eyes.
“Mum?”
She nods and we walk just the three of us towards the playground.
“So come on what's got you two so tense.” He chuffs.
I take a deep breath and stop to look up at him.
“My powers are gone.”
He stares at me in bewilderment then looks to my mum. Her expression is tentative.
“But I think I know why Dad. Gaia has... Well I think she's punishing me.” I can feel the shake in my voice from the fear of telling him. He's going to hate me for what I'm going to say.
“Punishing you for what?” He asks and I hear the wobble of worry in his tone.
I feel sick and I squeeze my fingertips to give me something to focus on rather than losing my nerve. I can't lie any more. Whether the pack hate me or not they deserve to know.
“For rejecting my Moira bond to her son, Alistair.” I say it slowly and clearly with conviction by some miracle.
He freezes as what I have just said sinks in. His head twists slightly to the side as if what I just said was some kind of joke. Then I watch as the disbelief fades to shock as he stubbles back. Then he pauses as the words I said dawn on him.
When he looks at me again I feel the stab of his expression like a knife to the heart. The disgust on his face and the anger.
“No.” He growls.
“Dad-”
“I said NO!” His voice carries across the trees as he shoves my mum away. “You knew?” He spits at her.
His eyes are molten gold as he fights to stay in control.
“I'm sorry.” Her voice is small.
My dad paces back and forth and the rage is rippling off of him in waves.
Lukas and Caleb come rushing through the trees looking ready to fight and maim but then freeze when they see my Dad and they glance at us in confusion. Izzy, Penny and Jason aren't far behind.
