“Yeah but...” I sigh. “There's still so much I'm trying to figure out and I don't know where my future will take me.”
“Here. This is your home. You're the future of this pack and you're future is here with Lukas. What's there to come to terms with? It's simple.” She smiles with hope in her eyes.
“There's a whole world out there and I can use my powers to help it.”
She comes over and takes both my hands.
“There's also Nymphs across the world. Not many and not as powerful as you but they all have their place to protect. Yours is here. Why would you want to leave?”
Sadness settles on me like a blanket. In this moment I feel alone. I thought Izzy would understand. She's adventurous and fearless. Now I realise everyone in the pack wants me to stay here and never leave. More than ever I want to go back to Birchwood. To sit and chat with Cassey all through the night.
I feel a lump form in my throat but I swallow it and smile as I pull Izzy into a hug.
“You're right.” I whisper.
Chapter 19
I wake later than usual to the sounds of birds through my open window. My lay in was probably caused by the scotch I had after Izzy left. I'd tried calling Cassey last night but there was no answer so I sat in my hammock for hours drinking and wallowing. I was feeling lonely so might as well drink alone right? I sat there thinking about my future here and settling down with Lukas like the pack expects. It would be easy and simple. So why does it make me feel defeated? I want to enjoy the life I have here and embrace it but I know that Gaia has plans for me and it makes me unsettled. How can I follow the life my Dad and the pack want me too when I know that she wants me to be with her Son? And that message she gave me about going into the dark to find the light? I'm no closer to understanding that either. To stay here would mean living with my head in the sand. Do I go against Gaia and make my own choice to be with Lukas?
I get out of bed and start to get ready for the day. For the first time in a while, I actually feel a slight chill in the air. Normally I’m so in tune with the natural world that I'm part of it. This morning however the forest feels distant. I go to the window to extend my senses across the forest. I can't feel it! It’slike something is blocking me or I feel detached from it. I try using my power to speak to the trees. Nothing. I try lifting the dew drops and nothing! Panic knots itself in my chest and my breathing becomes erratic. My power is gone! I try over and over again but nothing happens.
I frantically get dressed and run downstairs to where mum is lounging on the sofa in her dressing gown with a coffee.
“Morning sweetheart.”
I speak barely a whisper to prevent the pack from hearing.
“My power is gone!”
She nearly chokes on her coffee in her shock then re-composes herself.
“That's not possible sweetheart.”
I look at her with my best 'well it is' face and she must see my panic because she says-
“Meet me by the river. We'll do some grounding and help reconnect you.” Her voice has a note of your over-reacting to it but I ignore it because I know I'm not.
“I’ll get dressed and come find you in bit.” She says as she finishes her coffee and heads upstairs.
What I need is to go to the Volcano but that's now a no go what with the visitor we had yesterday. Dad wants everyone to stick closer to the ranch. Which also means I'm never out of hearing distance from anyone. Usually I can bend the air to make a sort of invisible bubble to stop sound travelling. Right now though I'm powerless and that puts the pack in unfathomable danger.
Unable to stand idly around waiting I head to the river bank and it's not long before mum finds me. We get comfy with our shoes off and sit in silence for a while as we let the energy of the Earth flow through us. Well mum does. I don't feel a thing. Where usually I feel the rushing waves coarse through methere is emptiness. Tears of frustration and confusion build as I struggle to do something that used to be as easy as breathing. I feel my mums hand on my shoulder.
“Sweetie what's going on?” Her voice is soft but worried. “Tell me what's on your mind. I've put us in an air bubble, no one can hear us.”
“I can't connect to it. I know it's there but I can't...” I look up at the sky and try to clear my eyes.
“Use your power to create a breeze. Let it swirl around you.”
I open my hands palms up atop my knees and try to make a breeze but it's stuck. My body tenses in exertion but no matter how hard I try my power has evaporated instead of being the torrent that I had before.
I drop my hands with a cry of anguish.
“I can't!” I sob. I look to my mum in fear. “Has this ever happened to you?”
She looks at me with concern as she shakes her head.
My heart drops. If I can't access my power then I can't protect us.
