Several orderlies and a nurse were there to greet me. The nurse took one look at the handcuffs and turned on the police officers.
“Get those things off her right now,” she commanded, her authoritarian tone one that demanded obedience. “We don’t treat patients like criminals here.” To me, she said in a softer tone, “It will be okay, sweetie. You’re safe here.”
The officer muttered something snarky beneath his breath but did as she said, removing the cuffs from my wrists. Louder,he said, “Might want to keep an eye on this one. She stabbed her boyfriend.”
How could I even argue with his claim? From his point of view that’s exactly what happened.
Boyfriend. Such a simple but strange term. Not the kind of label one would give a man like Auryn Brewer.
“Get her settled in,” the nurse instructed the orderlies. “I’ll be in shortly.”
Two men dressed in scrubs stood on either side of me, gently urging me along down the hallway that ran past the front desk. Partway down the hall a heavy set of double metal doors kept anyone from leaving on their own. I watched with disinterest as one orderly used a swipe card to unlock the door before leading me through.
“My name is Jack,” said the thirty-something man on my right. His shaggy dark hair fell forward, covering one eye. He shoved it aside, offering me his hand. “This is Evan. We work full-time, so you’ll see us around a lot. Don’t hesitate to ask if there’s anything you need.”
Evan didn’t seem much older than me. His heavy facial hair gave the illusion of him being older than he was. He offered me a friendly smile.
I really hoped that I didn’t need to be here long enough to get to know these guys.
They brought me to an elevator that took us to the third floor. The hallway would have been quiet if not for the one woman screaming from behind a closed door. We passed a guy who appeared to be close to my age. I didn’t see any obvious headphones or earbuds, yet that didn’t stop him from dancing down the hallway to a tune only he could hear. He waved at us as he passed, not once losing his groove.
We came to a closed wooden door. Jack used a key to unlock the door, pushing it open and flicking on the light. Theroom really wasn’t that bad. Kind of like a dorm room. A single bed in the middle of the room with one small wooden table next to it. A window that had been secured so nobody could jump out. One door that I assumed led to a bathroom.
“This will be your room,” Jack explained. “You’ll probably only be here a few days. There’s a call button over there by the bed in case of emergency. As long as you don’t pose a risk to yourself or anyone else, you’ll be free to come and go. We do try to enforce bedtime between eleven and seven. Let us know if you have any questions.”
Based on the guy dancing down the hall a moment ago, not everybody was in bed during the designated time. Although he didn’t seem to be hurting anyone, so maybe they weren’t super strict on that policy.
Both Jack and Evan stared at me expectantly. I shook my head, having nothing to say.
When it became clear that I wasn’t going to engage with them, Evan said, “Nurse Maggie will be up to speak with you soon. Try to get some rest.”
Sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed, I watched them leave the room and close the door behind them. Yeah, right. I didn’t see rest happening anytime soon.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
RIPLEY
The talk with Nurse Maggie was difficult. She asked a lot of questions, encouraging me to be honest. Since I was here, I saw no reason to lie. I told her everything.
I told her about my addiction to Oxy. My tendency to self-harm when feeling overwhelmed. I explained how Auryn had tried to stop me from hurting myself when everything got out of control. Stabbing him really was an accident.
She listened attentively, making some notes. She promised to help me wean myself off the pills using therapy as well as reduction. Making it clear that it would never work if I didn’t participate. I had to want this. And I did. I knew that I needed help. I didn’t want to be this way anymore.
She left me with a pill that would help me sleep. Something she swore was non-addictive. Deciding that I had no choice but to trust her, I took the pill and lie down on the bed.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I knew I was waking up. Sunlight streaming through the window. Lighting up the room and reminding me that I wasn’t home. Bringing last night’s fiasco back with a startling ferocity.
A trip to the bathroom took much longer than necessary. For a long time, I stood in front of the mirror, staring at myreflection. The mirror itself seemed to be made from a material that was unbreakable. Safety first.
My reflection stared back at me. My eyes bloodshot with bags beneath them. A small bump on my head where I’d hit it on my desk. I splashed some cold water on my face, hoping it would shake me out of this funk. The only thing that might help would be finding out that Auryn was going to be fine.
A knock on the bedroom door pulled me from the bathroom. I opened the door to find a woman wearing scrubs like Jack and Evan, holding a stack of towels and some clothing.
“I’m Anna,” she said with a smile that made her eyes light up. “I brought you some fresh towels and something clean to wear. If you decide to stay longer, we’ll arrange to have your own things brought here. Breakfast will be served in the dining hall on the main floor in ten minutes.”
“Thanks.” I accepted the towels and clothing. So far everyone here had been so nice. Like they really did care. Somehow that made this all harder, even though it shouldn’t have.
After getting cleaned up, I changed into the sweatpants and T-shirt she’d given me. I didn’t think I felt hungry despite my growling stomach. Maybe there would be coffee. Leaving my room, I ventured down to the main floor, seeking out the dining hall.
