Ripley shook her head. “No, it was an accident. Still, I knew better. I really fucked up.”
“You’re all right. That’s all that matters. Everything will be okay.” Comforting others didn’t come easily to me. Seeing the defeat in her eyes was too much. I would have done anything to take it away.
A heavy sigh had Ripley sinking deeper into the bed. “Everything is far from okay. I got fired last night. Jamie came in. I’d had enough. I dumped food all over him. Then I had a nasty fight with my mom. My life is so fucked right now.”
I hated that I couldn’t fix this for her. Sure, I could kill Jamie or torture the little fucker. That would make me feel better for a while, but it wouldn’t solve Ripley’s problems.
“I’m sorry, Ripley. I’ll do anything I can to help. If you need anything, just say the word.” It was the best I could offer, and it didn’t feel like enough.
She managed a small smile. “Thank you for coming, Auryn. It means a lot.”
“The girls are in the waiting room. I’ll go get them. I know they’re eager to see you.” Even though the last thing I wanted to do was leave her side, something told me that I needed to give her space.
I rose from the chair, leaning over to kiss her forehead before leaving the room. It killed me to walk out of there feeling so helpless. There had to be something I could do.
And yet all I wanted to do was go home and get high.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
RIPLEY
Watching Auryn leave the room left this empty hole inside me. Waking up to find him at my bedside had been surprising yet also comforting. The brightest point in all this darkness.
I saw the guilt that filled his deep brown eyes. The certainty that somehow this was his fault. I was the one who screwed up. This was all on me. I didn’t want him to blame himself. Unfortunately, he took off before I had a chance to say as much.
Several minutes later the girls filled the doorway, each filing in wearing matching expressions of deep concern. I hated having them all look at me like that. Like I was this pathetic problem case that they needed to worry about.
“How are you doing, Rips?” Athena plopped down in the chair Auryn had vacated. “You scared the shit out of me. Please don’t ever do that again.”
Codie, Luna, and Storm gathered on either side of the bed, surrounding me with their loving energy. They all cared so much. I was truly lucky to have them.
“Sorry. I never meant for this to get so out of control. Thanks for taking care of me.” I dragged a hand through mytangled hair, frowning when my fingers got stuck on a knot. I needed to get out of here and get cleaned up.
“We’re sorry that we didn’t realize how bad things were,” Luna said, nervously twisting her fingers together.
Storm quickly chimed in. “We’re here for you. We’ll do anything we can to help.”
“You know you can always talk to us, right?” Codie’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “No judgment at all. We’re here to help.”
While they fell all over themselves to make me feel loved and able to open up, I sat there in the bed wishing I could get away from all of this. This bright white sterile environment. The machines beeping next to me. I wanted to go home and hide away in my bedroom.
“I know I should’ve told you guys. I’ve been taking the pills the doctor gave me for my back pain even though I don’t need them anymore. I never meant for this to happen.” There was no point trying to hide it anymore. Everybody knew.
“Everything will be okay,” Athena assured me, repeating what Auryn had recently said. Proving that nobody really knew what to say to me. They were doing their best though, and I appreciated that.
“We’ll help you kick this habit any way we can,” Luna promised. “You’re not alone in this.”
Luna was probably the sweetest, most kind-hearted person to walk this earth. She was also wrong. Of course I was alone in this. I was the one with the habit. I was the one who had to face this on my own.
Not knowing what else to say, I simply asked, “Does anyone know if I can go home yet?”
Taking charge, Codie headed for the door. “I’ll find out. I’ll get someone.”
All I wanted to do was get the hell out of this hospital. Being here somehow made me feel worse about everything. I wondered if Auryn had left. He was the only one who understood. The only one who knew what it felt like to have this deep-rooted itch that could only be satisfied one way.
Eventually, Codie returned with a nurse in tow. Everyone left the room while the nurse checked my vitals, deciding if I was fine to leave. After she determined that I was able to go home, she pulled out a pamphlet, offering it to me with a gentle smile.
“Several of my former patients have had a successful experience with this place. Think about giving them a call when you feel better. I’m sure they can help.”
