“Yeah. I let people think it was girls, and sometimes it was, but mostly it’s been guys.”
“And how have you kept everyone quiet?”
“I only hook up with people when we travel and hope like hell they don’t recognize me. I’ve been lucky so far.”
“Huh, okay.”
“I’m just a little freaked out about it…”
“What about it is freaking you out?” I ask.
“That’s the thing.” He looks at me. “I don’t fucking know. I just feel nervous about it, and I don’t know why. And I, uh… I’ve been hooking up with someone here. A guy. And he’s amazing, and Ithink that maybe I could see something with him, but we don’t even live in the same country.”
I sigh. “I get that all too much.”
He looks at me, smirking. “You wanna move to Canada?”
I huff a laugh. “We’re both signed to an American team.”
“Yeah, but our contracts are up this season. We’re both free agents. We could try for a Canadian team.”
I narrow my eyes, trying to figure out if he’s being serious.
“Does this guy mean that much that you’d move to another country for him?”
“Kind of, yeah, and that’s the crazy part. I never wanted to settle, but something about him… I don’t know. It makes me kind of crazy. And thinking about him going home, and not being able to see him, and maybe him meeting someone else and moving on? I want to punch something.”
I laugh again. “I’ve had similar thoughts.”
Just not about the moving on part because I didn’t imagine Nico with anyone else. Now that Connor has put the idea in my head though, I do feel a little murderous. Nico with someone else? No fucking thank you.
“I think that there is a lot of good energy here,” I say. “We’re all athletes in our elements. We’re riding a high like no other. What if what we’re feeling about these guys isn’t real? What if it’s just part of the experience?”
“You mean because we’re already happy about being here and winning?”
I’m not sure I believe that, and I hadn’t considered it until just now, but Ishouldconsider it… right?
“Yeah. What if we go home and they don’t mean as much as we think they do?”
He shakes his head. “Do you really think that?”
“No, not right now. Not with the way I feel, but the thought of leaving and never seeing him again… I’d just rather not think about it.”
“Fuck.” He groans, hiding his face in his hands. “What the hell are we going to do?”
“Guess we’re signing with Canadian teams and moving to Canada.”
He glances at me. “Don’t fuck with me, Roman. I’ll do it.”
“You’re too impulsive for your own good.”
“No, I think I’m in love.”
Love… is that how I feel? Is that what this is with Nico? Do I love him?
I love my parents, but that’s a given. It’s natural.
I love my dog. God, do I love my Taco. And not just because she’s a dog, though I am fond of most animals, but because she’s mine. She’s special. When I went to the shelter to find a dog, she was the one I knew I had to have. There was a connection there. I felt like I couldn’t leave without her. I knew I needed her in my life.
