Bonnie came running. ‘What’s up? Did you hurt yourself?’
‘I know. I know how she did it!’ I explained it to Bonnie, and she was a little doubtful at first, but then she agreed. That’s what had happened.
I had to tell Erin, but that didn’t end well. I couldn’t remember whether there was a keyhole in the bedroom door or not. I knew there was no lock because the risk of getting caught in Erin’s bed by her parents was real. Everything we did was silent, and the risk made it even more of a turn-on. I could think of nothing else the day I went to see Erin.
Erin said there was no keyhole in that door and that I was disgusting for even thinking of such a thing. I knew I was right about Ruby using the tissue. She must have watched us, but I had no way of proving it. Had Ruby been able to hide under the bed? Was she in the wardrobe? I gave up trying to clear my name and Bonnie got tired of hearing about how I’d been denied justice. A few months later, she broke up with me.
I had kept the flyer that Erin’s husband had given me with his son’s photo on it. I sought him out, asked around. Finding Nick wasn’t a total coincidence. I had been training as a counsellor, and I finally saw him at a shelter downtown years later. I owed Vince and Erin nothing, but this kid was just the kind of guy that I had promised myself I would help, and at heart, I would still have done anything for Erin. The mess he was in wasnot his fault. Very gradually, I earned his trust. I enlisted the help of my old friend Ben Roche and eventually got Nick the right meds and supports to be able to bring him home. After I got to know Vince through Nick, I knew that he didn’t believe I could hurt anyone.
But then Leo Bermingham started showing up at the diner, wanting to talk to me about what we could do to punish Erin. He’d been around Bonnie when I was seeing her, and she had told him everything. She should have known to keep her mouth shut. He had been put away in a state psychiatric facility twice. He had harassed his ex-wife, and his own mother was terrified of him. I told him not to come around the diner any more. I even tried to get a restraining order against him, but the cops weren’t too keen on helping a convicted rapist. At least he didn’t know where I lived. When Leo kidnapped Erin and called me to tell me, I could scarcely believe what he was saying. He made everything worse. I was arrested again. I was accused of conspiring with Bermingham in waging a campaign of harassment against Erin. I was only held for a few hours, because Bermingham admitted he’d done it all for me and that I didn’t know a thing about it. Erin was really shaken and badly injured. Her beautiful face was scarred, though still beautiful to me.
When Erin showed up in the diner and took me to the old family home to show me the evidence of what I had long suspected and that her mother had confirmed, I didn’t feel the overwhelming sense of relief that I’d been hoping for. I needed to process the information away from Erin. I could not handle her upset on top of my own.
I called Margie first. Who else would understand? She screamed. She wanted to bomb Erin Cooper off the face of the earth and tear Ruby limb from limb. We cried hard about Mom. She drove down from Salem and asked when they were going tobe arrested. She wanted to call the cops right there and then, but I said no. It had been twenty-six years, what difference would a few days make?
I had a hard time getting my head around it. Why would that kid hate me so much? Yes, I absolutely rejected her, but like I foolishly said at the time, nobody had to know. I wouldn’t even have told Erin. In court, Ruby twisted those words to make me sound like a pervert. I was nothing but nice to her, even though she was always weird around me. It took me twenty-six years to realize it was nothing to do with me. She wanted to hurt her sister, because Erin was prettier, smarter and a whole lot kinder than Ruby was, though I didn’t see much evidence of that kindness from Erin after the so-called rape. Except for the fact that Erin kept sending me those parcels for thirteen years. She had denied it but who else could it have been?
Since I had been released, Erin’s heart grew a hard shell and the way she looked at me and spoke to me on the few occasions we met was horrible. I know she’s sorry now and I know she’s upset and devastated and confused. But that’s on her. I always loved that girl. The depression is back, but it’s different this time. The pills don’t help. I should be happy. Why can’t I be happy?
82
Lucy
Erin stayed with us for a couple of nights while she tried to find Mum, but Mum had gone into hiding. Her passport was gone and Dad said she was probably drinking. Neither of us wanted to go looking for her. We gave Erin the names and numbers of her friends. Nasrin confirmed to Dad that, the night he had thrown Mum out, she had confessed to framing Milo Kelly. Erin flew back to Boston on her own after four days of searching. She did not visit Granny.
When I eventually went to see Granny, she was in a state. She told me the details, about how naive she had been, how she never meant for the family to split up, she was just trying to save her family’s reputation. It struck me, not for the first time, that Granny wasn’t smart, but trying to defend her actions around a false rape accusation wasn’t just stupid, it was immoral. She was devastated that Erin wouldn’t speak to her. I could absolutely understand Erin’s hurt, but I felt sorry for Granny. She had made a really bad decision back then and, in a lot of ways, itwasher fault. But it was up to Mum to come forward and tell the truth. She was the one who had told the lies.
Dad’s sponsor, Graham, came over a lot. Dad did not do his show that whole week. They had to use an understudy. He had never missed a day of rehearsal or performing before in his life. I hated Mum for what she’d done to him. Poor Dad.
I met up with Miranda a few times and had long phone and Zoom calls with the other girls.Ríonnaand Basira had similar stories and, when we finally met up after three weeks of talking, we had the most empowering night of our lives. We had all suffered at the hands of Simon Perry.Ríonnawas the hardest to persuade. She felt that she had brought the attack on herself, but the truth was he had groomed us all. We went as a group to the Rape Crisis Centre and then to the guards, where we each made a statement. From there, we went to the HR department of ComStat Holdings. There was strength in numbers. Miranda did not want to return to ComStat and Basira was about to leave for Iran, butRíonnawas very glad to come back to a job that she loved, and my position was made permanent.
I still have good days and bad days. We all do. I don’t know what is going to happen now, but we are being kept informed by the Garda Liaison Officer assigned to our case. Simon has been taken in for questioning several times. A case is being prepared for the DPP. Despite some initial fears, all our families are standing by us. Except Mum. No surprise.
83
Ruby
After the flight touched down in Perth, I took a cab into the city and checked into a hotel.
I thought about Lucy. Nasrin was right. She had been raped, and I’d told her that I didn’t believe her because I was thinking about myself. I couldn’t handle the thought that this was karma.
I found a meeting close to the hotel. I shared with the group that I was in self-imposed exile because I’d done a terrible thing a long time ago. People were supportive and urged me to make apologies. I left as soon as the meeting was over. I took an open-top bus tour of the city, taking in as much as I could. I did not call Uncle Dennis. I thought about all the new lies I would have to tell him if I just turned up there. It had to stop.
I took another long flight. This time, I landed in Boston.
On a Thursday afternoon a couple of days later, I walked an hour and a half from the Harvard Square Hotel to the Boston Police Headquarters, a shiny, new, glass-fronted building. I took a number at reception and waited for my name to be called. When it was, I made my confession.
84
Erin
Ruby turned up in Boston. She handed herself in and confessed but was released on bail.
Kathy told me she had turned up on her doorstep. Ruby told her who she was and what she’d done. Kathy had known about the ‘rape’. Dad had told her all about what Milo Kelly had allegedly done. Even though she said she was horrified by the true story, she had taken Ruby in and let her stay there. ‘Your father would not have turned her away,’ she said. I couldn’t argue with that. She agreed to let Ruby stay for a while but warned her the house was shortly going on the market.
Kathy passed on an apology from Ruby to me and asked if I wanted to come and see my sister. I told her to tell Ruby that I would see her in jail. I was so angry. She hadn’t called or texted me. Cowardly. Now that I knew she was facing the consequences, I had no wish to see her as a free woman. From what I could glean, she hadn’t implicated our mother in her confession.
Milo got a lawyer, who I paid for. He had to be cleared of all charges. My family owed him everything, but it could never be enough.
