My publishers threw a huge launch party in New York. I gotthe best make-up artist in the city to cover my scar. Vince tried to tell me that nobody would notice, but I noticed. Nevertheless, I had the most wonderful night. I invited everybody I knew from the publishing world apart from the head honchos at Watling and Harris who had treated me so badly for years. My mom came over from Dublin, and Kathy came too, with Aunt Rachel, Vince and Nick, Carmine and his wife, Saima and Ginnie, Cisco and even newly divorced Fabian, plus others from school, a lot of friends from Harvard and everyone from Cooper Rivera. It was like a flashback of everyone I’d ever known from every walk of life – everyone except Milo and Ruby.
75
In September 2025, I got a call from Dad’s widow, Kathy. She said she was selling up in Boston. She and some of her girlfriends were moving to Florida. I was surprised. I’d always kept in touch with Kathy, but after Dad died, we had less in common. I’d assumed she would marry again, but when I asked her, she said, ‘No, your dad left me enough money, so I don’t have to. Marcia and Jade and I are opening our own little store there in Florida, in St Augustine.’ Florida was a state that people retired to because of the weather and accessibility, but Kathy was only in her late fifties.
‘Aren’t you a little young for Florida, Kathy?’
She laughed. ‘We’re going to sell knitting pattens, yarn, needles and hooks, and craft kits. It’s been a dream of mine since I was a little girl.’
Her girlish enthusiasm was infectious, and I knew she loved crafting. In fact, when Dad and Kathy got married, she had turned the spare room into a craft room. After he died, she would host knitting workshops in the house on weekends. She made a whole new group of close friends out of a hobby. You had to admire her.
‘I’m clearing out the house, so please come over and take any furniture you want. I can’t take the contents of a four-bedroom house to a one-bed apartment in St Augustine.’
I couldn’t think of anything I wanted, but it was unlikely that I would see Kathy again, and she was a sweet person who hadloved and cared for my dad. Also, although my life shattered in that house, I had some great memories of it. I arranged a time to go over.
I roamed the rooms of the house, thinking of the last time I’d been there to reassure myself that Ruby had not spied on us through a keyhole. I was still mad that Milo expected me to believe such bullshit. The room that had been Mom and Dad’s was swathed in baby-pink and blue lace, lampshades, curtains and quilt. It was like a child’s dream of a Cabbage Patch doll bedroom. How had Dad reacted to this? I think he must have let her have free rein over this room as long as she left the rest of the house alone. Kathy hadn’t touched the other bedrooms. Which was a pity as my old room was an eyesore. The wallpaper was peeling and the busy floral pattern that had seemed cool nearly thirty years ago brought on an instant headache. No wonder Mom had said it made her dizzy. The room was used for storage now. There were three old baseball mitts, framed awards that Dad had won for humanitarian work, a broken keyboard on a stand that used to be downstairs, several old sewing machines, a box of shoes of all sorts on top of a bookcase. I reckoned most of this could go to Goodwill or to a garbage dump.
I went into Ruby’s old room, still with its candy-pink wallpaper, and it was neat as a pin, most of Kathy’s equipment packed and stacked and carefully labelled. I caught my reflection in the mirror on the wall. That mirror had been there forever. I remembered Mom saying that it was a wedding present from her cousin. I wondered if she would like to have it back, but then she hadn’t taken it in the divorce. It looked like an antique, though. Maybe I could take it home and put it in our hallway. Kathy would be disappointed if I didn’t take something.
The mirror sat on the floor. I pulled it towards me, examining the old mahogany frame for woodworm. As I turned, something on the wall caught my eye. A piece of what looked like alarge Band-Aid curled up at the edges was stuck there. Had it been attached to the mirror? I pulled it away to reveal a deep hole about one inch in diameter. The mirror used to hang off a nail there, I recalled. I felt a creeping sensation at the back of my neck. I went back into my old room and removed the box of shoes from the top of a bookcase. It had not been there in my time. When I got real close, I could see a hole. I peered through it and into Ruby’s room. I stood away from the wall and the hole just disappeared back into the pattern. My stomach churned.
I went back into Ruby’s room, up to the hole on her side, and looked through. The view of my room was perfect. I could see exactly where my bed would have been and where the desk would have been. I could see where the trash can had been.
I ran downstairs and made an excuse to Kathy about being late for an appointment, telling her I would be back for the mirror. I went out, got into my car and drove to the nearest secluded spot. I pulled over. My hands were shaking, and I had a headache like I’d never had before.
76
I’d tried calling Ruby first, but she wouldn’t answer. I called Mom instead. It was the middle of the night in Dublin, but I didn’t care about that. As soon as I told her what I suspected, Mom started blubbing.
Mom hadknown. That was what hurt the most. She had found out the night before the sentencing. She was scared stiff. She had sacrificed her marriage to keep Ruby’s secret. She preserved Ruby’s lie and let Milo be sent to prison to protect Dad’s investment clients, his congregation, Ruby’s reputation, and to have an excuse to go home to Ireland.
Did she even think about me? My love for Milo was not a childhood romance.
Mom chose Ruby. There was noSophie’s Choicescenario. There was no moral dilemma. There was right and wrong. And Mom chose wrong.
It had nearly destroyed me. Years of loneliness and the fear of truly trusting anyone until I met Vince, a perfectly nice man who couldn’t believe his luck when a woman sixteen years his junior agreed to marry him because she was dying of loneliness. Perfectly nice and perfectly dull. He knew at his core that I did not love him. Our marriage was over but neither of us had the courage to declare it.
And then there was Ruby’s twenty-six years of lying. I called her again, some twenty times. She didn’t pick up. I drove aroundfor an hour. I could not discuss this with Vince. I needed to see Milo.
I walked into Billy’s Diner and asked to speak to Milo. He came out from the kitchen and looked surprised to see me.
‘Milo, I need you to take a drive with me.’
He looked confused. ‘Why? And where? I’m working.’
‘Please, Milo.’ I started to cry. He put his hand out but stopped himself from touching me.
‘Is it Nick? Is he in trouble?’
I couldn’t stop crying, my body heaving in spasms of distress. I shook my head.
‘Erin, you better sit down.’ He pointed to a table at the back.
‘You don’t understand. I can’t do it here.’
‘Do what? Tell me.’
I ran towards the door, but Milo came after me. He called to someone, ‘Hey, Marky, I gotta go. Close up for me, okay?’
