I couldn’t say anything to that. Milo always knew when I was being evasive.
‘Why now, Milo? Why did you contact me now?’
‘It’s been over eight years. I got my first parole hearing coming up next month. My guy says that if I confess to it, I could get out of here. But I’m not going to admit it because I didn’t do it.’
‘Well, then you’re a fool,’ I said, ‘and please tell Margie to stop with the hate mail, she’s wasting her time. I don’t read them any more.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Margie would never do something like that.’
‘Yeah, well I never thought you’d do something like rape my sister, yet here we are.’
I saw anger then. ‘I did not do that. I loved you.’
‘Shut up.’ It was all too much. I couldn’t bear to stay any longer.
I got up to leave and he said, ‘Don’t go, Eri, please don’t go. We can sit here and say nothing. You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Please, Erin.’ I continued to walk away. ‘Write your stories, don’t waste that talent, write your stories, Eri.’ I never looked back while I waited for the guard and heard him shouting as I went through the door, ‘I never did nothing with your sister, nothing. I’ll swear that on a stack of bibles until the day I die.’
I left and had to go back through all the gates and doors, and sign all the forms on the way out. It was a half-hour before I got back into the privacy of my car where I could cry like a child. I was done with Milo Kelly, the lying bastard. I hadn’t thought that he was stupid too. Denying his crime would never go down well with the parole board.
37
Ruby
The Academy was hanging on by a thread and Jack was only just balancing the books. Then, finally, he got a lucky break. In February 2009, Svetlana, his agent, persuaded him to go for an acting job in a fantasy series shooting in Belfast,The Round Table. Jack got a strong supporting role, and it was a four-month shoot with a solid possibility of a second series and beyond – ‘If I don’t get killed off,’ he said. The money was good. They were bringing in some A-listers from the US and every Irish actor worth their salt who looked like they could handle a sword, grow a beard or slay a dragon was hired. I couldn’t uproot Lucy and didn’t even ask Daphne about a role for me – she knew I would only do theatre. In any case, I hadn’t acted in a year or so.
There were three months between audition and shooting, and Jack was working hard at the beard and working out in the gym. He was on the point of closing the Academy, but I persuaded him not to. He’d only be away for four months and if the show’s producers’ reputation was as good as its budget and it became a hit, his name might attract more students. It was a long time since he’d been a presence on TV. When I first met him, people in AA rooms used to say, ‘Isn’t that Jack Brady?’ or passers-by would nudge each other as he walked down the street, but it was ages since that had happened. He had faded from the public consciousness. I could keep the Academy ticking over forhim while he was gone. Lucy was in a kindergarten, and I knew the business well enough by now to handle it. It would take some juggling, but I could do it.
There was no question of him not taking the job. He couldn’t afford not to, but he had worries about being away in a new environment, being around booze and inevitably cocaine, but he talked to his AA friends, and I wasn’t worried about him at all. I knew he could do this sober. It was too important, and he knew it too. He had a plan for every eventuality: he was going to be honest with them all about his recovery, and there was a gym between the film studio and his apartment accommodation that he could escape to when the cast and crew headed for the bar. He also took a ton of books with him and had made contact with AA members in Belfast.
Jack was gone for the whole summer and I missed him. He would call from time to time and tell me about the bust-ups on set, the unexpected egos of bit-part actors. Lucy would constantly ask when he was coming home, but she chattered away to him on the phone too and whatever he said made her giggle. And then the calls petered out and I reckoned he was too busy, and besides, it wasn’t as if we were a couple in a relationship. I never even thought about him that way until I got a five-word text from him.
Hey Rubes, I’ve met someone.
I felt my heart lurch. Well, maybe not my heart, but there was a sudden pain in my stomach as if someone had punched me. He must have seen that I’d read the message, but my feelings were too complicated to allow me to respond. I decided to reply like a male friend would.
Is she hot? What’s her name?
Her name was Isobel Lucas, and I didn’t have to google her. She was English, the leading lady inThe Round Table, and hadbeen Oscar nominated when she was a child. She’d been a Bond girl ten years ago. Maybe not A-list now but definitely B. I googled her anyway. She was thirty-four, divorced but rumoured to be dating one of the lesser known Baldwins. I dug further and found a Facebook fan page that showed her posing at beautiful locations, wearing couture clothing. On YouTube, I was able to see scenes from her films and TV series. She was way out of Jack’s league.
I called Jack and quizzed him. He was besotted, and he didn’t seem to understand that she existed in a different realm to us, though I kept those thoughts to myself. He told me they’d met first on the set but later he had spotted her at an AA meeting, and they felt a spark. I hadn’t even known that I loved Jack before this gilded pixie arrived on the scene, but now I knew. I wanted Jack badly.
I also felt a spark of something that I hadn’t felt for ten years. It was the way I’d felt that day when Erin had gone to New York with Mom. She had what I wanted. Now Isobel did.
Jack and Isobel had a weekend off and he wanted to bring her to Dublin, to stay in the Merrion Hotel. I guessed he was ashamed to bring her to our humble home. I played along, withDelighted for you, dying to meet her. I reminded myself that I was a trained actress. I was disappointed that he was going to spend much of the money he should have been putting towards the Academy on a five-star hotel for the weekend, but I went ahead and even made the booking for him. He wanted me to meet her. He wanted my approval. Why?
I insisted that he bring her out to the house. Jack didn’t object at all, and I realized that it was I who felt the shame of living in a mid-terrace former council house. He didn’t want to stay here with his new girlfriend in a single bed, with me and a toddler floating around. Why wouldn’t he want to impress her with a fancy hotel? He had been contributing a lot more to the housesince he’d taken this role. Lump sums were deposited in my bank account even though I had never asked for them. But he wanted to pay his way.
When she arrived, without entourage or limo or make-up, I was taken aback. Her dark hair was loosely scraped back into a ponytail. Without the flashbulbs, it was far less glossy. She looked nothing like the shiny person on Google or IMDb. She was wearing a pair of boot-cut jeans and an authentic Aran sweater beloved of tourists, but also practical for an Irish summer. She was no less beautiful, perhaps more so. I had piled on the make-up and had a blow-dry that morning in a salon. Lucy went straight for Jack, putting her hands up, demanding to be lifted. Jack let go of Isobel’s hand.
‘Isobel, meet Lucy and her mum, Ruby.’
She put out her hand and said, ‘All right,’ in a Cockney accent. I’d watched her inGosford Parkthe night before and the crystal tones of her accent in that were nowhere to be heard. ‘Your house is great,’ she said, and I could tell she was being kind, but I also felt that she did not come from money and probably grew up in a house not too dissimilar to this.
‘Hi, you’re welcome,’ I said and stood back from the door to let them pass into the open-plan kitchen. She was slim and at least six inches taller than me. Lucy reached out her sticky hands to grab one of Isobel’s loose strings of hair.
‘Lulu, no.’ I was firm, but too late.
Jack said, ‘Lucy, we don’t hurt other people, do we?’ and he said it in a stern voice that Lucy wasn’t used to. I don’t care that he was trying to impress Isobel, this wasn’t the Jack I knew. Lucy’s lip trembled and I lifted her from him while she sobbed.
