My whole body shudders with relief, and I bow my head.
But—
Straightening again and looking him dead in the eye I say, “You lied to me.”
Zan flops back down, pressing a hand over his eyes. “Not exactly,” he says. “A... factor in my magic changed, and I miscalculated what it meant.”
Not exactly.
My relief, it seems, is due to be short-lived. “There’s still something you’re not telling me,” I say softly. “Isn’t there?”
Zan takes a breath and moves his hand so he can meet my gaze. “There is.”
At least he’s finally admitting it.
But while he doesn’t owe me his secrets, after what just happened, it makes me angry.
Zan takes one of my hands in his, drawing my attention back to him.
Back to his gaze, and the desperation I now see in it.
“Can you wait?” he asks. “I promise I will tell you.”
Wait forwhat? “When will be the right time, if not now? Weren’t you the one who said that you always wait too long?”
Zan sucks in a breath, his expression stricken.
Part of me feels bad about that, but... not all of me.
I don’t want to hurt him—buthehurtme. And he hasn’t even apologized, and I think it’s because he doesn’t want it to be true.
Repaying him in kind is not going to fix that, and I know what Teren would suggest.
But opening up more of myself to him when he’s already done the one thing I was most afraid of... I don’t know if I can.
And it’shisturn, surely? He’s the one who messed up!
Zan interrupts my roiling emotions. “Let me have one more day?” he asks. “Please?”
My gaze snaps back to him. “Are you going to leave after that?”
His jaw clenches, and he doesn’t answer immediately.
I can’t do this.
I bolt off the bed.
We’re back in his room in the cottage, I finally notice. I didn’t pay any attention to it the last time I was here, but now, in an abrupt shift wanting to look anywherebutat Zan, I do.
His room is painted in a rich teal color with warm rose curtains. All around the room are pale shelves absolutelypackedwith objects.
And almost all of them vibrant jewel tones.
Mosaic glass sculptures, painted rocks and stunning gems, books with intricate designs painted on the edges, ceramic figurines that shine with the light of the stars, every item gleaming like a treasure.
A lifetime of art and memories.
A hoard of beauty.
