When we finally separate—for air, I realize, though connected to him it doesn’t feel like I need it—he rests his forehead against mine as we both breathe in each other.
“I’m here, Yora,” Zan says.
“You’re here,” I agree softly.
In this moment, this close, our eyes hide nothing. Somehow I know he’ll have felt as much of me as I did of him.
And surprisingly, given that I’ve spent my entire life hiding who I really am... I am absolutely fine with that.
With Zan, I’m safe.
I bring one of my hands up to cup his face, and he leans into the touch.
Then he lowers us to the ground, with me more or less cradled in his arms.
Protected, for once in my life.
Utterly wiped out, I fall right into sleep.
Chapter 15
WhenIwake,I’mon top of Zan again—Zan in his human form.
Which means even if he’s sleeping, he’s not hibernating. He’s stillwithme.
I let out a deep breath and try to sit up.
But Zan’s arms are around me like bands, holding me tightly.
I frown.Tootightly.
I solved the problem, didn’t I?
I continue to try to press up, and after a moment, his hold slackens, releasing me.
Because Zan never wants to hold me where I don’t want to be.
And while I do want to be in his arms, I also desperately want to see him.
I lever myself up to sitting, staring down at him as his eyes darken—
Oh. I’m straddling him.
Howdo I keep putting myself in positions like this by accident?!
My whole body heats, and I quickly slip off of him until I’m seated next to him, and Zan props himself up on his elbows, tousled beneath me.
Gods, andhowis he this alluring?
But that’s not the most important question in this particular moment.
“Are you okay now?” I ask him. “For real this time?”
Zan tucks my hair behind my ear, and the gentleness, the intimacy of it makes me want to cry.
I almost lost him.
“Yes,” he says. “I’m okay. For real.”
