And I feel whole.
Chapter 24
Savannah
IfinishtheShafers’meals in record time, doing everything I can not to overhear any of the conversation happening in the other room. When I’m done, I hesitantly peek my head around the corner, but the living room is empty. I think about finding Lola, but I can only imagine the emotions she’s dealing with right now, so instead I heft my bag onto my shoulder and slip out the front door.
Logan’s sitting alone on the porch, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. It’s impossible to tell how he’s feeling, but no matter how the conversation went, my soul aches for this big man and his big heart.
I speak softly, not sure if he heard me come out. “Hey. You okay?”
Lifting his head, he stares at me for a long time without much of an expression on his face. Then he holds his hand out to me, squeezing my fingers as soon as I take it.
“Do you want to go somewhere?” I can’t imagine he wants to sit onLola’s porch all day.
He nods. Stands. Takes my bag from my shoulder and leads the way to my car.
Neither of us says a word until I pull into the parking lot of Dockweiler beach. “Is this okay?” I ask, breathing a little easier when a hint of a smile lifts the corner of Logan’s mouth.
He’s the first to get out of the car, heading toward the surf without waiting to see if I’m following.
Of course I follow, fear growing in my chest. I shouldn’t worry that this is the last time I’ll see him now that he had his talk with Lola, but I do. It doesn’t matter that he told me he’s interested and doesn’t want to lose me; I don’t have experience with people choosing me over their own plans.
When I reach the place Logan stopped walking, I pause just behind him, memorizing the sight of his strong, lithe body bathed in sunlight. If this does turn out to be the end of us, I don’t want to forget his strength. Inside and out.
But then Logan turns, his eyes meeting mine, and his blank mask cracks to make way for an emotion I can’t name but instantly pulls me forward the rest of the way. He’s the one to initiate the hug, pulling me into his chest and wrapping me up so tight that I almost can’t breathe. I hold him just as tightly, refusing to let go first.
If he’s okay with it, I’llneverlet him go.
With a shudder and a shaky breath, Logan holds me even tighter, like he’s on the verge of falling apart. And then he exhales, and all of the tension leaves his body with that breath. He melts into me, and the strength of his embrace changes to something different. His grip hasn’t lessened, but it no longer feels like he’s trying to hold himself together.
“Thank you,” he says into my hair, and the sound of his voice fills me with relief. “I’m okay.”
I take my first full breath all morning. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
I have so many questions, but as Logan slowly releases his hold on me so he can meet my gaze again, every single one of those questions fizzles away. He’s given me plenty of heated looks over the last couple of weeks, but this is… This is something new.
“We can go home now,” he says and lifts a big hand to cup my cheek. His thumb runs across my lips in a featherlight touch, and a shiver ripples through me.
It’s as much from the contact as it is from what he said.We can go home now.
We.
With unsteady limbs, I lace my fingers between his and follow him to my car. Somehow I manage to drive to my apartment in silence, ignoring the way his gaze never leaves my face while my internal temperature climbs with every passing minute. All those questions I had on the beach come back one by one until I feel like I might explode as we climb the steps to my floor, and I only get as far as unlocking my door before I can’t hold it all back anymore.
“What happened?” I ask, spinning to face him. “Did you get the answers you wanted? Is she going to talk to you again? Are you sad or glad or mad? What about—”
“Easy, love,” he says in exasperation and plants his hand against the door above my head. “Crikey, I wondered why you were being so quiet. You were just keeping it locked up.” Hebrushes my lips with his thumb again, his eyes fully focused on what he’s doing.
My limbs turn entirely to jelly. The way he’s looking at me, leaning over me, touching me. It’s enough to make a girl swoon. I fight to take a whole breath but don’t really manage it. “So… It went well?”
Chuckling low, he leans closer and shifts his weight from his palm to his elbow so our bodies are flush. My heart is pounding so hard that I’m sure he can feel it, mostly because I can feelhisheart’s wild beat. “I got my answers.”
“That’s…” I’m getting dizzy, as much from nearly hyperventilating as from how close he is. All he has to do is dip his head down and line his mouth up with mine. “That’s good.”
“Mm hmm.” His fingers tuck beneath my chin and gently nudge my head back. I am putty in his hands, willing to do whatever he wants me to do. It’s a miracle I was able to function after the first kiss he gave me, and I am in every way convinced it can only go up from here. “And now…”
