No going back now.
Should I ask to go up, or should I just do it? Maybe I’m still on Lex’s list. He can’t refuse to have a talk with me if I suddenly appear on his doorstep. Taking him by surprise also gives him less time to prepare.
I force a smile on my face as I walk up to the concierge, propping my arms on the high counter, ready to chat up the man.
“Good afternoon, miss. How may I help you?”
“Hi, I’m here to see Alexander Coleman. I’m on his list, Andrea Walker.”
“Of course.” He types something on his computer and asks, “May I see an ID, please?” Once he confirms who I am, he allows me to proceed with a polite nod.
The mirrors surrounding me in the elevator remind me I’m abnormally dolled up. Shit, I hope Lex won’t think all this is for him. I’m not here in a pathetic attempt to win him back—not this time. I’m here for the truth.
With each passing floor, I lose another chunk of confidence. This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever done, isn’t it? But I’m not walking past the guy in the lobby so soon. And I’m not telling Michelle I got cold feet either. I’m fucking doing it.
There’s a drive, deeply hidden in me, that has my feet walking through the familiar corridors all the way to his door. It’s the same drive that raises my hand and makes my finger push on his doorbell. The one that forces me to remain right there instead of turning around and running away like every cell in my body wants to.
A noise on the other side of the door causes a mix of anger and fear to rise in me. He’s right there, probably looking through the peephole. The asshole who potentially broke my heart for nothing is right there.
The heavy metallic sound of the lock is reassuring and terrifying, but it’s nothing compared to the wide panel finally opening.
Lex is right there, wearing a gray T-shirt and black basketball shorts, his handsome face veiled with worry and surprise. He has his glasses on, but I see how his eyes course over my shape, analyzing my outfit from head to toe, lingering for a split second on my red lips.
He’s so handsome in his casual clothes, so effortlessly attractive, that it sends a swarm of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. The injustice of his effect on me only adds to my anger.
“Andrea, what are you—”
I don’t let him finish, inviting myself in before he either offers or denies me access. My boldness shocks him, but I don’t care. I’m not ready for the nostalgia that hits me when I rediscover his apartment. We spent such wonderful moments here, isolated from the world like no one else existed but us…
A noise to my left startles me. And when I realize where it came from, my stomach churns painfully. There’s someone in his bedroom. Almost manic, I look around to find traces of the unknown guest. There’s a red trench coat and a matching handbag on the rack by the entrance.
A woman is here. In his bedroom.
Although he has every right to have moved on, I can’t hold back the look of pure betrayal I send him as the green monster crawls inside my head. He found bliss in the arms of another. This was a bad idea. I never should have come. Barely a minute in, and the little that was left of my heart already broke into pieces.
“Katya, that will be all for today,” he says loudly, eyes still on me.
“I’m almost done!” the woman replies, her Slavic accent impossible to miss.
In the corner of my eye, I see her come out. I don’t want to look, but I need to. Forcefully, I turn around.What the—
Katya isn’t a goddess-like sexual creature. She’s a plump middle-aged woman, about as short as I am. As if that wasn’t enough to reassure me, her lavender-blue dress and the white apron over it give away her role here.
She’s here to polish Lex’s floors, not his knob.
I feel like an imbecile as I watch her walk to us with a hamper full of sheets and towels.
“Hello,” she greets when she passes me.
We wait in awkward silence while she disappears into what must be the laundry room. I don’t look at Lex directly, even when he removes his glasses and folds them. We both stay utterly silent until the maid returns, removes her apron to slip it into her bag, and puts on her red coat.
“Sorry again for yesterday,” she tells Lex while opening the door. “I can work next Friday again, no problem.”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Thank you for coming today,” Lex answers, giving her a brief nod.
She smiles in response, and her attention focuses on me. “Nice to meet you, miss. Have a good weekend, Mr. Alexander.”
As soon as she closes the door behind her, I kinda wish she’d come back. This was always going to be awkward, but now… it’s almost unbearable. I can tell Lex feels the same, trying to find a way to ask why the fuck am I in his apartment on a Saturday afternoon, uninvited.
