To my great disappointment, the script I’m working on is trickier than I expected, and even with Joseph’s help, I can’t find a solution. An hour goes by, and I can’t tell if it’s because of my inability to focus or if the code is that complex.
I glimpse at Lex, who’s now working with Steven. He’s doing one of his rounds to help whoever is struggling. Just like I am. I hesitate, wondering if I should ask for his insight. It’s the standard procedure.
But all we’ve exchanged in the past three weeks were the usual “Hello” or a vague “How have you been?” always followed by a “Fine.” Asking him to come and help me out would force us to actually talk to each other, and I’m not sure I have the mental strength for it.
No, I don’t need him. I can do this. I’m smart and capable, and I’ll solve my issue on my own. I don’t need a man, especially notthatman, to help me.
When he’s done with Steven, Lex moves on to Oliver for about ten minutes, then he comes to Mason, so close the music isn’t enough to stop the soft rasps of his baritone voice from reaching my ears.
Fuck, this isn’t sustainable.
When he gets up, I nearly sigh with relief. I pretend to be focused on my screen when he asks, “Does anyone else need help before I head back upstairs?”
I know I should speak up and ask him to come sit next to me and help with my problem for God knows how long, but I mentally cannot.
Joseph touches my shoulder to get my attention, and as I look away from my screen and push back my headphones, I understand he’s pointing at me.
“Andy has a problem with her script that we can’t figure out,” he signs to Lex.
Fuck.
Doing my best to hide the sheer panic flooding my brain, I turn to Lex, adamant to deny it. But Joseph would find it suspicious, and then Mason when he sees me struggling with the same script all day. Also, if I can’t fix it on my own, I’ll have to make Lex come back just for me or go to his office. There’s no way I’m letting that happen.
“Uh, yes, I-I can’t find the bug on this,” I reluctantly explain, pointing at the script on my screen.
Lex’s attention, which was on Joseph until now, slowly shifts to me. My body tenses, and my throat dries up. Fuck, I don’t want to do this. He almost seems to hesitate, his brow twitching imperceptibly. We still have to work together, so he can’t refuse. We both need to remain professional.
To my great relief, he eventually nods, moving to take his chair. My relief quickly vanishes as he rolls it beside me and sits on it. I can smell the scent of his soap, the heady perfume of his cologne… For the first time in forever, I can admire the finer details of his beautiful face, a painful reminder of what I’ve lost.
“What’s the problem?” he asks, stopping my racing mind at once.
Oh, right. The script. Thankfully, he’s looking at the screen, so he didn’t notice I was basically drooling over him.
“Steven updated parts of the recognition script, and this one doesn’t work anymore. I’m missing something, but I can’t figure out what.”
He nods and points to the keyboard and mouse. “May I?”
I move to the side, and as he rolls closer to the desktop, our knees graze. The slight jump of my body is pure reflex, and the faint shiver that runs through me is downright pathetic. Despite my best attempts, I’m not getting over Lex. I still want him. Still need him. And I could scream at myself for it.
I roll further to avoid another incident and watch as he goes over the code. Discreetly, I observe him, taking in his concentrated expression. Now that I’ve fallen in love with someone, I understand why Kate oftengot back with her asshole exes. As it turns out, love will do that to a person. Make you blind, make you stupid, make you miserable…
As I glance at the man next to me, I wonder if he is an asshole. He’s complicated, that’s for sure. Only God knows how his brain processes things. He likes control, being in charge, and planning things. On the other hand, love is unpredictable, chaotic, and unexpected. Nothing Lex would willingly subject himself to.
Of course, I had to fall for a man who can’t allow himself to love in return.
“It seems you were missing a couple of references from one of the new scripts Steven updated,” Lex explains, dragging my attention back to the screen. “I added them, so things should work just fine now.”
I frown as I read the lines he typed. What the hell? This is such a beginner mistake—coding 101. The disappointed look he gives me confirms it was a stupid error. Shit, will he think I lied just to get him to sit with me for a moment?
“I-I don’t understand. I’ve been struggling with this one for hours. Joseph couldn’t spot it either,” I try to justify.
“I get why Joseph wouldn’t catch it—it’s not his code or project. But I expected better from you, Walker.”
A mix of offense and outrage fills me, but before I can tell him we’re not all cold and calculating machines like him, I catch a twinkle in his eyes. He’s teasing me like he used to during our brief but intense weeks together. And somehow, that’s even worse.
I’m speechless, my mouth hanging with no words coming out. What the actual fuck? He gave up the right to be playful when he stomped all over my aching heart and threw me out of his life. It’s hard enough to get over him as it is. I don’t need him to make it even more difficult.
“I’ve been struggling with focusing lately,” I explain, holding his gaze with a harsh one, reminding him exactly who’s to blame.
