“I was scared you wouldn’t understand.”
“And can you blame me for it?”
“I’m not blaming you for anything, Andrea.”
Because he’s a smart man and because he knows my weaknesses too well, Lex bends to kiss the side of my throat tenderly. No, this isn’t fair. This is cheating. I’m still pissed at him, and this will only bring a brief moment of truce, a fleeting instant of pleasure. He lets go of my wrists but I don’t move, keeping them up on each side of me. Slowly, his hands raise my dress, uncovering my naked lower half.
“Lex, what are you doing?”
“Isn’t this what couples do? They argue, and then they have makeup sex.”
A trembling moan escapes me when he grabs my ass and presses me firmly against his hardening length. Fuck, this isn’t right. This isn’t the solution to our problem.
“It won’t fix anything,” I say.
My body, my fucking weak flesh, says something else entirely. I melt under his touch, one of my arms hooking around his neck to keep him close. When he reaches for his belt to unbuckle it with urgency, I use my free hand to help him. I don’t want this, but at the same time, I crave it. He lied and deceived, but I need to feel loved by him, to feel how much he wants me, how much he needs me. Sex with him feels normal, and I want that, even for a few minutes. It’ll be quick and rough, but it’ll help release some of these unbearable emotions, and then I’ll have a clearer mind.
Lex’s dick springs out, finally free, and I lower his slacks before he lifts me. I stare at the wall over his shoulder as I reach between us to align him with me. With one merciless thrust, he slams into me. Pain pierces through my flesh, intense and sharp. I’m not ready for him, barely wet and way too fucking tight for his impressive girth. The plug doesn’t help, making everything even more intense.
But this physical pain is so much easier to handle than the other one. It’s the perfect distraction from the way my heart aches.MyLex, was someone else’s. He had something special with another woman and married her. I’m not as unique and different as he pretended.
He doesn’t wait for me to get used to his size before pumping in and out of me. “Fucking plug… You’ve never been so fucking tight,” he groans. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I lie. “But fuck you.”
“Andrea, I love you. The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt it for anyone. I didn’t know it was even possible until you came along.” He bends to take my lips, but I turn my face away, refusing him. “You’re being ridiculous. Why can’t you understand that Eva meant nothing?”
“Don’t say her fucking name when you’re inside me,” I hiss with a warning glare. His eyes turn dark with irritation at my lack of cooperation. “I told you it doesn’t work like this. Fucking me won’t make it go away.”
My stubbornness seems to turn this into a challenge. His relatively gentle pace turns bruising, as if he can make me forget about his ex-wife if he fucks me hard enough. Thankfully, I’m wet now, so it doesn’t hurt anymore, and his intense fucking brings nothing but wild pleasure.
Since I keep denying him my lips, he pushes my cleavage to the side and takes a nipple in his mouth instead, making me swallow back a moan. Like always, it’s so fucking good, but I refuse to show it. The plug in my ass makes it unbearably better, even with the pain that lingers from his forceful first thrust. I’ll feel the repeated assault of his unsparing cock for hours.
He tries to dominate me into submission and forgiveness, and I try to make him hurt like I’m hurting, showing the same savagery he does. I bite his shoulder, harshly tugging at his hair until he groans in pain. The harder I hurt him, the harder he fucks me.
It’s as if we’re hate-fucking, and I try not to think of it. It’s so fucking wrong.
The imperious thrusts, the ferocious momentum, and the damn plug bring me to my climax in no time, and I poorly muffle a shaky cry. The pleasure that ripples through me is bitter, like a fraud, like it shouldn’t be there. Lex uses my distracting orgasm to kiss me, his tongue forcing mine to yield, to accept him. I’m not in control of my own actions when I sink my teeth into his lower lip, deep enough to taste blood. He lets out a surprised grunt, his hold on me tightening.
He comes with jerky thrusts, pressing his forehead into the sweaty crook of my neck with low moans—so gratifying yet unwanted at the moment. As soon as the last tremor has run through him with an ultimate spurt of cum, I unwrap my legs from around his hips and push him away.
There. He fucked me like he wanted to, but it changed nothing.
Lex gently lets me down, and then his hand grazes my temple, pushing a stray curl away. “Andrea,” he starts, his voice low, soft, and so full of pain.
When I look up, his eyes beg me to forgive him. He’s so absurdly handsome despite his bloody and swollen lower lip. He is mine. Despite everything, he’ll always be mine. But right now, I can’t stay here, so close to him.
Ignoring the way my heart and my pussy ache, I slither away from him and rush to the bathroom. As soon as I’m inside, I lock the door and press my back against it. The handle turns beside me, and I close my eyes to ignore it.
His gentle tone is gone when he imperiously demands, “Andrea, open the door.”
“Leave me alone.”
“I will tear it down if I fucking have to. Open the door. We need to talk.”
“I don’t need to talk right now. I need to process that the love of my life has been lying to me all along.”
“I never lied!” he shouts, slamming the door with his fist. I can feel his pain deep in me. But I’m hurting, too, and I have the right to be.
