My heart races in my chest at his confirmation. This isn’t casual and simple anymore. Strings have attached themselves without us realizing it, and they already seem so hard to untie.
“How do you feel about it?” he cautiously asks.
It’s my turn to gently graze his cheek, thinking of my answer while I admire his stunning face. “It’s scary. I didn’t—This wasn’t the plan, not so soon.”
“You have regrets, then?”
I shake my head. “No. Maybe I should, but it’s…you.”
His soft smile sends butterflies loose in my stomach, and their number doubles when he leans in to kiss me.
“What about you?” I ask before our lips meet. “You were so adamant about wanting something casual.”
He adjusts under me, and I realize my weight might be uncomfortable. When I try to move though, he keeps me right there.
“I’ve changed my mind.Youhave changed my mind, red. I fall asleep thinking of you, and before my eyes are even open in the morning, you’re already in my thoughts. My days feel incomplete if I don’t have my dose of you, even if it’s just a few texts. I’ve lost all interest in other women. There’s only you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I don’t even see them anymore. Eli and Kill have been giving me shit about it. But I don’t care because whatever way I put it, this is a win.”
I don’t even have to ask if he means it because the genuineness on his face is unmistakable. Although I probably look like a wreck, he welcomes me when I endeavor to kiss him. I’m the one demanding more and more, overwhelmed by everything I’m feeling. It’s alleviating, empowering, and infinitely better than the guilt and anguish I’ve been experiencing for the past few hours.
When I start writhing on top of him, tiredness be damned, he lets out a groan. “Love, you need to rest.” I nod but don’t stop, which makes him chuckle. “Alright, let’s put you to bed.”
Holding onto me tightly, he rises from the couch, dislodging us. Since I can’t access his lips anymore, I kiss the exposed skin of his throat instead. I’m not ready to let go when he puts me down, so he gives me one last peck. Leisurely, he undresses me, peeling the clothes off me piece by piece until I’m left in my panties. Then he leaves me there, almost naked, and comes back with a T-shirt. I lift my arms to help him put it on me, and when my head comes through, he gives me a tender kiss as a reward for cooperating.
“Your toothbrush from last time is in the cup with mine,” he explains, tugging at his shirt on the back of his neck to remove it.
Seeing our toothbrushes together brings me an obscene sense of happiness. It feels right. And I can’t believe I never offered for him to have one at my place too, given how many times he’s spent the night. Now, it’s all that I want—to see his toothbrush with mine at home so that even when he isn’t there, he kind of is. I’ll even get rid of the second cup that Edward used just to make the vision as complete as this one.
“I want you to have a toothbrush at my place,” I impulsively say, turning around.
The jeans are gone now, and all that’s left on him are black socks and underwear. Seriously, only this man could wear socks like this and still look impossibly sexy with his muscles, tattoos, and the small piercing at his nipple.
His smile as he bends to remove a sock is luminous. “Alright, I will. And if you have hair, skin, or whatever products you need daily, feel free to leave some here as well.”
The second sock is gone now, and he makes his way toward me, effortlessly alluring. When he’s right in front of me, his hands mold to my hips. “Are we really doing this, red?”
“Only if you want to, wombat. And we can take it slow, see how it feels.”
“I reckon it’s been feeling fantastic so far.”
“It has, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah. I really want to date you, Jessica from the dating app.” The nickname throws me back in time, making me chuckle at the absurdity of our first encounter.
Quenching it, I ask, “Even if I’m a mess who arrives unannounced in the middle of the night either to get laid completely drunk or to cry like a maniac and leave tears, drool, and snot on you?”
“Especiallyfor those two reasons. Anyone else would be so boring in comparison.”
Our smiles join with intensity, and we’re greedily kissing again. He slips his hands under the shirt and onto my back to hold me in his big, strong arms, and I melt. There’s something different in our embrace now, in the way we demand and give. It’s like this odd sense of ownership, like he’s mine to kiss and claim—and mine only.
A few moments later, our teeth are brushed and we’re in his bed. He flicks off the light on his side and comes to cuddle with me under the comfy duvet. The faint red glow of the clock on his nightstand commands my eyes.
“It’s my birthday for another minute,” I note, amused by the timing.
“Then happy birthday for the last time, red. Until next year, that is.”
