“He has no right to be jealous. He’s living with someone else.”
“Doesn’t mean he’s over you.”
“Well, he needs to be. We’re done. We’ve been done for five years.”
“Are you though?” Felice swirled her wine, watching me over the rim of her glass. “Because from what you’re telling me, you both sound like people who never dealt with the divorce. You just avoided each other until the pain felt manageable.”
I set my glass on the coffee table and pressed my palms against my eyes. “I don’t know how to do this, Felice. I don’t know how to work with him and not feel everything I’m not supposed to feel.”
“Not feel what?”
I couldn’t answer. Couldn’t put words to the longing that surfaced every time he smiled at me. The ache that bloomed when he said my name. The way my body still responded to his presence like no time had passed at all.
“Maybe you need to figure out what you actually want,” Felice said. “Whether you want things to be different, or whether you’re just nostalgic for something that didn’t work the first time.”
I didn’t have an answer for that either.
Felice squeezed my knee and stood. “I’m going to bed. But Calla? Whatever you decide about the job, make sure you’re deciding for the right reasons. Not because of him. Not because you’re running toward something or away from something. Because it’s what you want.”
“Since when did you get so wise?”
“I’ve always been wise. You just don’t listen.” She smiled and disappeared down the hallway toward her room.
I stayed on the couch, staring at the city lights, turning her words over in my mind.
My phone buzzed on the cushion beside me.
Cassian
I’m sorry for what I said. It was out of line.
I stared at the message for a long time, watching the cursor blink. My thumb hovered over the keyboard.
Calla
Why do you care if I take Daniel’s offer?
I pressed send before I could talk myself out of it.
Three dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared again.
The wait felt endless. I sat in the dark living room, watching my phone, my heart beating too fast for something that should have been simple.
Finally, his response came through.
Cassian
I don’t know. But I do.
Six words. That’s all he gave me. Five words that said everything and nothing at the same time.
I set my phone on the couch beside me and leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling.
Neither did I.
But I did too.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
