She sighed. “I stayed because it was easier. You were just a kid. I wanted you to have a family unit, and I didn’t want to be a single parent. I knew who your father was, and I didn’t stay for him.”
I nodded. Relief swept through me knowing she hadn’t stayed for my father but for me. At least she hadn’t been so wrapped up in believing his lies.
“Back to you, why exactly don’t you want to pursue things with the girl?”
The answer was easy. “Because she deserves better.”
“Bullshit!” The curse word flew from her mouth and I knew she was serious. “Honey, you are a good man. You would never let yourself do what your father did. You have the perfect example of what not to do. Mark’s mistakes are not yours. You can put that behind you. Be happy. Go after the woman you love.”
My breath hitched. “But how did—”
She gave me a soft smile. “I’m your mother. I know you, and I also know that you are fully capable of loving that woman right. Give yourself the chance to.”
I mulled over her words as she cooked. I was so thankful for my mother. She deserved better than my father. But, was she right about me? Mags said the same thing. I didn’t know if I could risk her heart like that.
An hour or so later, Mom sat a bowl of soup in front of me. “Eat.”
The soup was the color of a vegetable garden. In it was the kale and broccoli with a hue of cream and cheese. My stomach growled as I picked up a spoon and tasted it. It was creamy and tasted wonderful. “Thanks, Mom.”
She grinned, slurping on her own bowl of soup. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” I took another spoonful into my mouth. “Would it really be fair for me to risk breaking her heart for my own happiness?”
She shook her head. “Luca, heartbreak isn’t something you can protect someone from. In fact, you probably already broke the poor girl’s heart. It’s her decision to love you as you love her. That’s all that matters. For the record though, you won’t break her heart. Don’t miss your happily ever after because of your father.”
I nodded, inhaling the tangy smell of soup. “You’re right, but I doubt she’d want to hear from me now.”
“You’ll never know until you try.”
A week after returning home
I stood on the cold tile of my bathroom, sunken eyes staring back at me in the mirror. There wasn’t a trace of makeup on, my hair was frizzed, and I wore an old cotton robe with no motivation to put on actual clothing. I slumped forward, catching myself on the side of the porcelain sink and bowed my head, shoulders shaking.
I was broken, shattered, and robbed of the man who could put my soul back together. My heart thumped in my chest but without purpose. My mind was desperate and starving for some reason to be productive. I stood on the brink of something I couldn't describe. The weight of everything pressed down on my shoulders, and I struggled to take a single step forward. The darkness grew darker as the days passed; the pain grew sharper.
Nausea swirled in my empty stomach. Half-formed regrets of not stopping Luca from leaving swam through my mind. Hot tears ran down my face, each one streaking the tender flesh of my cheeks. Crying was a healthy release, but for the last few days, it became a habit. A habit I didn’t want to start.
I refused to be the scraps he left behind. I would rebuild myself stronger. I glanced up and met my own gaze. Determination flashed in my eyes as I released the sink and stood straight.
A knock on my door caused me to jump. I took a slow breath before going to open it. I opened the door and was stunned to see who stood on the other side.
Luca.
My mouth fell open, and my thoughts stilled.
“Mags, I’m sorry.” His voice penetrated my mind, releasing the fog that had settled.
My shoulder shook as I stared at him. Why the hell was he here? I opened my mouth to speak but snapped it shut. How could he just show up?
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His eyes opened as he released the breath. “I left somebody who loved me despite my many unforgivable flaws. I left you out of fear. Fear is a powerful influence that controlled me and swallowed me whole. It wasn’t right.”
His eyes shined with sincerity, but my heart had an impenetrable fort guarding it.
“How do I know you won’t walk away again?” My voice was raspy.
His eyes glossed over with unshed tears as they strained to hold my gaze. “I was selfish—an idiot. A real coward. I won’t let you down again.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What changed? What’s with the sudden change of attitude?”
