“At least they got the restraining order.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “Are you excited to go back home without him?”
She grinned. “Oh my gosh, yes. I can’t wait to get home and go to work. I can even hang out with you all again!”
Warmth began to replace the coldness I felt from Luca. “Thank goodness for that!”
The rest of the morning we relaxed and swam in the ocean. I was thankful for getting my best friend back, but I wondered if Luca missed me. I knew he cared about me, but I couldn’t understand why he would push me away like he had.
His father had embedded all kinds of doubts in his heart, but I was the one paying for them.
Several days after returning home
It was hell, living without seeing her perfect smile on her plump lips. Had I known falling in love meant to risk this kind of fucking pain, I would have kept pursuing superficial one night stands and pushing her away.
The tears that came were not quiet or controlled. They exploded and fell as I sobbed to draw in a breath. My lungs heaved. After I’d had her, I didn’t want anyone else. It was my pain to bear, and I would do it.
I’d just showered after I got home from an evening shift at the Emergency Room. I lost a patient from a car accident. Her body was too broken, and telling her husband was the hardest thing to do. Telling the spouse never used to be difficult for me, but after experiencing love for myself, I couldn’t imagine the pain they endured hearing the love of their life was gone.
My head hung in my hands as I sat on my sofa in the dark until a knock rapped at my door. I sniffed and wiped my eyes before going over to check the peephole. It was pretty late, and I wasn’t expecting anyone.
Fuck. Out of everyone who’d come by, she’d know I had been crying.
I swung open the door. “Hi, Mom.”
Her hair hung past her shoulders in chestnut brown strands. Her face was bright, and her smile curved into a frown as she took in my appearance. “Have you been crying?”
“No,” I mumbled, refusing to meet her gaze.
She huffed, pushing past me into my apartment. She marched straight into the kitchen and began to rummage through my fridge. “Don’t lie to me. Now, have you been eating? There’s only enough food in here for one pot of soup.”
I shut the door and slunk into the kitchen, sliding into a bar stool that sat at my island. “I’ve been getting take-out.”
She grabbed ingredients and laid them on the table, her green eyes burning into me. “Where is Magnolia?” My heart thumped at the mention of her name. “Shouldn’t she be making sure you’re alive? What on earth is wrong, Luca? Is this about your father?”
“Mags and I aren’t together.”
Her mouth fell open. “And why not? She was smitten with you at the wedding.”
I fiddled with my thumbs. “I just couldn’t be the man she needed.”
“And who decided that? You or her?”
I shifted my gaze to her and must’ve looked guilty as hell.
She gasped and whacked my hand with a silicone spoon. “What’s wrong with you? She’s perfect!”
“Ouch!” I pulled my hand away and rubbed the reddening spot. “I can’t be the reason she gets hurt, Mom.”
Something in her mind clicked as she leaned against the counter. “You’re nothing like your father. Don’t listen to any of the garbage he said to you that night.”
I shrugged as she patted my hand and went back to cooking her soup.
“Mom, did Dad agree to the divorce yet?”
Her hands moved as she cut up broccoli and threw it in the pot of broth on the stove. “Yes. Finally, he signed the papers. He’s agreed to give me alimony.”
Thank God for that. My mother was a stay at home mom all of my life.
I swallowed a lump. “Why did you stay so long?”
