He takes a sip of his coffee. The woman who served him at the coffee outlet near downstairs forgot to give him one of those cardboard sleeves and it’s burning his fingers. ‘I’m not sure I know where to start. But I wondered about our anniversary party next month. It would be neutral ground and there will be lots of other people there. If Jess didn’t want to say anything more than “Hi, nice to see you,” she wouldn’t have to. If she wants to have a more in-depth conversation with her mum after that, that will be up to her.’
Elena picks up the same knitting project she was working on last time he sat with her. It’s a lot bigger, but he still can’t tell what it is. ‘Luke … ’ she says, shaking her head. ‘What am I going to do with you? I tell you not to get in contact with Jess’s mum without telling her, but now you have done it anyway, and you still haven’t told her?’ She drops a stitch and swears in Spanish before looking him. ‘Are you sure? Communication is important in a marriage, Luke. When I think back over the years I spent with Felix, how things were towards the end, I think that is what caused our marriage to fail. We stopped communicating well.’
The conversation drifts on to other things for a while but, eventually, they both fall silent. A nurse appears to adjust a few things then disappears again. He checks the clock. Another hour to go before she can be released, and he drives her home. He hates leaving her alone in her flat afterwards, all that medication flowing around in her system.
‘What?’ he says, when they have some relative privacy again. ‘You don’t think that’s a good idea?’
She sighs. ‘I don’t know, Luke. Yes, on paper it seems like a good way to go, but you have to be careful. Your party is what? A month away?’
‘Six weeks.’
She gives a shrug. ‘That’s a long time to keep a secret from someone you’re living with; that’s all I’m saying.’
POTTERY
The process of forming vessels and other objects from clay and other raw materials, and also the products made through this process. After firing at high temperatures, the once-soft clay takes on a much harder and durable form. Objects made are often useful ones, integral to everyday life, but this does not mean they do not carry their own inherent beauty.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
JESS
I lean over Luke’s shoulder to see what he’s scrolling through on his iPad. I’m surprised to see a page from Rightmove. It used to be his obsession, scrolling through countless property listings, trying to find the next gem he would like to restore, but I haven’t seen him do it for years now.
I’m secretly pleased. Even though, in his timeline, it’s a whole year since we had a conversation about this, it was yesterday to me. The seed I planted is starting to sprout. That gives me hope.
‘Where’s that house? It’s gorgeous!’
He jumps, as if he didn’t realize I was standing there. His finger hovers over the ‘x’ on the corner of the tab but then he moves it away. ‘It’s in Bickley. You know, one of those roads near the station that runs up towards the high school.’
I know the road he’s talking about. Even the smallest houses on that quiet street would make a good-sized family home for a couple from the City. From the glimpse I got, it looked as if it hadn’t been updated in decades. Luke’s favourite thing.
‘What made you to decide to look?’ I ask, as if it doesn’t matter what his answer is.
He takes a sip from the coffee mug on the breakfast bar and shifts on his stool. ‘I didn’t tell you this, but I ran into Elena a couple of weeks ago. She asked me if I wanted to do another project with her. I said no, of course, but it got me thinking.’
‘You should’ve said. It would be nice to see her again.’
He gives me a sheepish smile. ‘I bumped into her at that pottery place out beyond the M25 when I was looking for your anniversary present. I couldn’t say anything because, you know, I didn’t want to give the game away.’
Luke’s present to me, an abstract figurine, is sitting on the mantelpiece in the living room. It’s stylish and beautiful, possibly not what I would’ve chosen for myself. Last time, I wasn’t sure about it, and it ended up in the cupboard under the stairs, but this time … I don’t know. It’s growing on me, but hearing that Elena had a hand in choosing it makes sense.
I decide not to press the issue of him flipping houses. It’s enough that he’s thinking about it. But I’m secretly hoping that by the time I wake up tomorrow morning, a whole year later, he might have made the jump and done something about it.
‘What time do you think you’ll get home from work?’
He drains his coffee cup. ‘I may have to get everyone to stop early today, not just me. This weather … ’
It’s been unseasonably warm for May. We’re having a bit of a heatwave in the UK, which is fine for the first twenty-four hours, with everyone stripping off their woollies and donning shorts and tank tops so they can blister in the sun, but we’re five days into it now; everyone’s wilting and moaning they can’t sleep. You can’t find a fan in the shops for love nor money.
‘Take care of yourself,’ I shout after Luke as he heads out thedoor. ‘And remember to drink enough!’ I swear, that man would be a shrivelled as a prune if I didn’t remind him to hydrate.
Once he’s gone, I continue my routine of scouring my bullet journal. Alongside a couple of things I want to set in motion today that will hopefully avoid the unintended fireworks that happened at our anniversary party in one year’s time, I have a couple of clients later in the morning. Although neither Luke nor I booked the day off, I’m not as worried about it as I was in previous years. Things started off well for us this morning, very well, if you know what I mean, and the vibe I get is peace, happiness.
All I’ve got to do is keep this ticking over for another twenty-four hours. Something significant has to happen tomorrow. It’s the day it all started. I’m hoping, if I get things right, that it will also be the day that everything stops, I’ll be ejected back into my usual life and time will return to its mundane plodding through the days and weeks and months. Sounds like bliss.
‘Jess! I’m so glad I caught you,’ Hannah says at the other end of the phone. ‘Is Luke there?’
I’m trying to shove a bowl of overnight oats down my neck before I head off to see my first client (elderly lady who just had a hip replacement). I’m eating at the counter, so I pop my bowl down. ‘No. He just left.’
