‘Yes, but Zach and Nick are also in the trade and it’s not as if Matthew is incompetent. Your dad made sure that all of you, including Cassie, can manage the basics. Anyway, it’s not just DIY stuff, is it? Today’s situation being a case in point.’
Luke goes quiet for a while. ‘Why do I feel as if you’re having a go at me for how I interact with my family?’
I reach over to touch him, just to make contact so he knows I’m on his side. ‘I’m honestly not. I’m just trying to look out for you. I see how overloaded you are, and I get the feeling that … that maybe you don’t enjoy working at Harris & Sons as much as you thought you would?’
Unfortunately, this does not make Luke look any happier. ‘I’ve already told you the reasons I’m doing what I’m doing. I’m fine working with Dad. Absolutely fine.’
He stares out across the garden for a few seconds, drains his glass then picks up the menu from the table. ‘I’ll go and order the food at the bar, shall I?’
I slump back in my chair and watch him go. I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall, and he clearly doesn’t want to talk about this. But there’s an energy in the conversation I recognize. Defensiveness. Denial. However, in our past, the roles were usually reversed. It was me, defending my corner at all costs, him trying to break through the brittle walls I’d erected around myself. If Luke learned this tactic anywhere, he learned itfrom me. How he managed to put up with me digging my heels in for years on end is beyond me.
Only, he didn’t, did he? That last night, he begged me to talk to him and I blew him off. I find I can’t blame him any longer for walking out the door; I’m just surprised he didn’t do it sooner.
And it’s not about the babysitting or the putting up of shelves or the money lent. It actually wouldn’t matter what the argument was about. It’s the way I used to deal with it, as if everything was a personal attack. Probably because, at the time, it felt that way.
When he returns, I wait until I catch his eye and I say, ‘I just want you to be happy.’
He hands me another glass of wine and puts a bottle of beer on the table for himself. ‘I know that. It’s just … I love my family.’
‘That’s one of the things I love most about you, how committed you are, how loyal, but sometimes I think your family take advantage of that, that’s all I’m saying. I’m not saying you have to cut them off or anything like that.’
He nods. ‘Okay.’
‘I just don’t want you to spend your whole life making them happy while forgetting about doing the same for yourself.’
The look he gives me lets me know my words have touched him, that he appreciates me looking out for him too, which gives me courage to raise my next point. I open my mouth, but Luke jumps in before I’ve got more than half a word out.
‘I know what you’re going to say, but I’m not going to jack it in and do property developing full-time. Dad has only just fully retired and it would break his heart if I sold the company.’
‘Would you have to sell? Couldn’t someone else be in charge of the day-to-day stuff?’
‘Hiring a manager would eat into the profits, and the only other candidate is Warren. After today, even you can’t suggest that would be a good idea!’
I laugh softly. I have to give him that. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll shut up about it.’ For now. ‘But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to make you happy.’
He blinks at me, a slow lowering and opening of his eyelids, and somehow that one tiny gesture, combined with the gentle smile, is full of more love than a dozen bouquets of red roses or expensive jewellery. ‘You’re all right, you know?’ he tells me.
‘I know,’ I say, smiling. ‘You’re not so bad yourself.’
I reach out and hold his hand across the table and the diamond and emerald eternity ring glints as the sun catches it. We are going to be happy, I promise both it and Luke, and then myself, too. We are.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
LUKE
Six Weeks Before the Anniversary Party
‘I did it,’ he tells her. ‘I met up with Jess’s mum.’
Elena twists in her high-backed blue armchair to look at him. ‘How did it go?’
‘Well, I think. She looks a decade younger the last time I saw her. It was almost like meeting a completely different woman. Not just from the way she behaved and looked, but also the words coming out of her mouth. She’s been sober for four years now and is married again, happy. I don’t think Jess and I ever believed this was going to happen, but it has.’
‘That’s amazing! And what does Jess think?’
He has the decency to look uncomfortable. It’s not that he and Jess have been arguing, far from it. But it feels as if there’s a wall of thick Perspex between them, and everything is just bouncing off of it. ‘I haven’t told her yet,’ he admits slowly. ‘I’ve been trying to find the right way to bring it up.’
She gives him a look that says,coward, but doesn’t press thematter. ‘Do you have any plans of when or where or how you might want to suggest a meeting between her and Jess?’
