‘Hey, Jess!’ The TV is blaring the latest Netflix series they arebingeing, and Jess is sitting on the edge of the sofa, hunched over her bullet journal, drawing lines and scribbling things down. It’s the start of a new month and she always seems to have lots of scribbling to do around this time. ‘Want to see those old gates I rescued restored to their former glory?’
Her head bobs up and she looks slightly confused. ‘What?’
‘The gates … from that house in Keston we worked on last month.’
He turns his phone around so she can see.
‘Nice,’ she says, but she glances away and goes back to her scribbling so quickly that he’s not even sure she’s had time to register the two gorgeous gates, which have now been turned into a focal point in the large garden. By next summer, Elena says they’ll be covered in jasmine and honeysuckle.
It’s absolutely stunning, he types into his phone.I can’t believe they came up so beautifully. And the pews look great round that old refectory table. Wish I had a kitchen large enough to fit one of those in!
One day, Elena types back.And did you see the flagstones? We searched all around the country for those. Aren’t they the most delicious colour?
Her enthusiasm is infectious. They spend the next couple of minutes chatting back and forth about the project, but he feels bad that he’s totally lost the plot of the TV episode he and Jess are watching. He probably should try to be more present when they have a rare quiet evening in together.
Instead of firing off another reply, he puts his phone down on the sofa. ‘It’s a place Elena’s been working on in Dulwich. DidI tell you about that yet? I’d love to go and see it. Do you want to come too?’
He realizes that he hasn’t mentioned to Jess he’s back in contact with Elena. Not that he decidednotto tell her. It’s just that it started up again so slowly it hasn’t seemed like a big thing to share, just something he’d get around to when he remembered. And now he’s remembered, so …
‘Jess?’
She doesn’t even look up this time, just says ‘Huh?’ and carries on scribbling, and then she adds, ‘What gates are you talking about again?’
At the same moment, another message arrives, making his phone screen go from dull and grey to full of life and colour.So are you going to come and see it for yourself? The original wooden shutters in the dining room are to die for! The pictures don’t do this place justice.
He looks at his wife, who has stopped writing in her journal to stare at the telly. He doubts she even remembers she was waiting for him to answer her grunted question.
Sure, he types back.Would love to.
COTTON
A soft, fluffy fibre that grows in a boll around the seeds of the cotton plant. It is known for its breathability, absorbency and softness. While it may seem humble, adaptability and durability are its key strengths.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
JESS
I pick Mum up from her house in Orpington and drive a couple of miles to High Elms Country Park. The grounds near the car park are tended and mowed, but paths lead into sprawling woods that spread for a couple of miles. Down a short path is a wildlife conservation area that leads to a pond surrounded with reeds and buzzing mayflies with a cute café beside it.
I had no idea how things were going with Mum after the promise I made Luke last anniversary. I know I kept in touch with her the first time I lived these years, but it was very strained. I wasn’t trying to mend things or be supportive; I was just trying to survive our relationship without too much further damage. However, I realized I have a secret weapon to help me navigate this new version of my life – my bullet journal.
I picked up the practice the year after Luke and I married after seeing a YouTube video. Not the artsy, decorative kind of bullet journalling you see a lot of on Instagram, but the method from the book: a pared-down system for focusing on what’s important in my life and keeping track of daily tasks and events to accomplish those goals. Thankfully, I not only unearthed myvery first bullet journal notebook, but also a double-paged spread of brainstorming on how to try and be a supportive influence on my mother. That’s what Mrs Wonderful would do, isn’t it?
The Jess who is here between the anniversaries I’m reliving is clearly quite committed to this plan, and she’s put some steps in place that I honestly am envious I didn’t think of first time around – like not inviting Mum to the house but going out when we get together. It gives us something to do/talk about and she’s always clear in the head, if you know what I mean, at the beginning of the day.
I also learned from my bullet journal that I’d booked the day off work today, hoping Luke and I would be able to go off somewhere for our second anniversary, but life had other ideas and he has to work. I decided to take the time off anyway as I’ve got some plans for later on and I’d prefer not to have to rush things.
I buy us both coffees and we find a table overlooking the pond. It’s such a glorious day. The sun is catching the reeds, making them glow almost neon green. Insects skate across the top of the water and butterflies dip and dive over the tops of the lily pads.
I reach into my handbag, pull out my purse, then push a few folded notes over the tabletop towards her. ‘Will this be enough?’
She does a quick check. ‘If you could throw another twenty in, that would be marvellous.’
I nod and add another note to the pile.
‘Thanks,’ Mum says, pocketing the money. ‘I’ll pay it back, obviously. It’s just a bit tricky having gone down from full-time to part-time, and there was a bit of a gap between ending the old job and starting the new one.’
‘Sure,’ I reply, even though I am not sure at all. According tothe log in the ‘Mum’ section of my bullet journal, she still hasn’t paid back twenty pounds from the last hundred she borrowed, and the switch in jobs happened more than two months ago, so her paydays should have sorted themselves out by now. But I’m embracing Luke’s motto of ‘family is family’, and doing my best to believe that Mum is trying.
