I wish I did.
Seems there are holes in my knowledge of that night too.
Well, she could hardly blame him for that.
What I remember next is the gamehe adds.
Ah, she thinks, the muscles at her temples tightening. The game. That was the part of the night she would never forget.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Present Day
My legs are so tired that I’m sure they have gone completely numb. Even so, I manage to keep moving them, to keep myself afloat, because what else can I do? I stopped looking at the time because it’s only making me more panicked, but the last time I checked, we’d been stranded in the water for about an hour. I think it might be closer to two now. We’re guessing the boat moved into the bay to the south. I can’t tear my eyes from the headland where it must have disappeared, even though I know it makes no difference in terms of whether a craft will appear.
My shoulders are tense, my hair plastered around my face, and I’m sure my cheeks and forehead must be burning. It was at least four hours ago that I put some sunscreen on. If we get out of this alive, I’m going to look like a scorched flamingo.
‘Just keep your breathing even,’ Gil says. ‘Keep moving gently.’
Normally, Gil telling me what to do would get on my last nerve, but I know I need to hear these softly spoken words. Every few minutes, he has something helpful or encouraging to say and it helps me keep on top of my panic.
But when Gil eventually also falls silent, a heaviness descends on both of us. I know this is not good.
Gil is staring at the headland too, and I turn to him. I mean to say something encouraging back to him, but I say, ‘I can’t die today. I can’t do that to my parents, especially my mum. She’s already lost one child. I can’t be careless enough to let her lose two.’ Tears well in my eyes. ‘You were right, Gil. I shouldn’t have swum away from the group. It’s all my fault!’
Gil gives me one of his slow and steady looks. ‘Erin, this is not your fault. Yes, you drifted slightly away from the group, but I shouldn’t have said what I did when I blamed you. I was just frustrated … and scared.’ He looks thoughtful. ‘How do you do that, anyway?’
‘Do what?’
‘Worry about everyone but yourself when you’re probably in the most dangerous situation you’ve ever experienced in your life?’
I blink the sea water out of my eyes.
‘It’s what you always do. It’s one of the things that always amazes me about you, and frustrates me, if I have to be honest. You always put yourself last …’ A wry, lopsided smile pulls at his cheek. ‘Except when it came to calling off our marriage, of course. You dug in and put what you needed first. I’d be quite proud of you if it wasn’t such a kick in the gut.’
I swallow and look away. I’m not proud of myself in the least about that. ‘I’m not sure that makes me feel any better,’ I tell him. ‘And I thought you were supposed to be keeping our spirits up.’ At least, that’s what we promised each other over an hour ago.
Gil stares at me steadily, but he doesn’t say anything. When I shiver, he pulls me to him, then turns me around so my back is pressing against his chest,absorbing his body heat. One arm circles around my waist and the other keeps paddling. ‘Better?’
‘Yes,’ I say through chattering teeth. We bob together like that for a moment, legs occasionally clashing, but then we find a rhythm, allowing us to kick and float together. Now I’m facing away from him, I realize there are things that will be easier to ask him if I don’t have to look him in the eye. ‘Gil?’
‘Mm-hmm?’
‘Did you really mean what you said earlier?’
‘What in particular? We’ve covered quite a few subjects since we’ve been floating around out here.’
‘What you said about making sure I got out of here?’
I don’t feel him move, but somehow he seems to hold me just that little bit tighter. ‘Of course.’
‘Even if I fly home to Simon?’
Just for a beat, his legs stop moving, but then they start up again in the same easy rhythm. His voice is rough in my ear. ‘Yes. Even then.’
It’s almost too much. He’d do that for me? Even if it crushed him?
‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘I didn’t mean to ruin your life.’
