‘Gabi told me. She did some… um… investigating. She was worried about me talking to a man I’d never—’
‘It’s okay,’ Brody said softly. ‘I get it.’
‘It’s just… I’ve known for a while, and I wasn’t going to say anything, but I felt bad about it, even though it wasn’t me who went looking. But then I realized that it’s possible we’re going to meet soon, that we’re going to stand close enough to look into each other’s faces. And I realized there’d be this… thing… between us. A secret. And I didn’t want that.’
He exhaled and looked at Lewis, who was curled up near his feet. No. Secrets weren’t good. They were like walls. Barriers. ‘Does it matter?’ he asked. ‘What you found out?’
Anna sounded slightly bemused. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean…’ He held his breath slightly, realizing he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to the question he was about to ask.‘Does it change anything?’
Once again, Anna confounded him. Despite his reservations, he’d been expecting a hasty denial –of course it isn’t going to change anything– but she kept him waiting. His stomach grew icy. How much had Gabi actually told Anna? And what had been the source?
‘A little,’ she said.
Brody closed his eyes, tried to breathe evenly.
There was a shyness in her tone when she spoke again. Anna had always said she was shy, but she’d never been that way with him before. The icy feeling started to spread.
‘I read your books.’
Brody felt as if he’d been punched in the gut, but he had no idea where that reaction had come from. Why did it matter if she had?
‘They’re beautiful, Brody… So full of magic, and not just the spell-casting kind. So full of imagination and depth. I was entranced.’
A thousand thoughts and feelings rushed around Brody’s head, none of them slow enough for him to tackle and pin down. ‘Thank you,’ he managed.
‘Why did you stop? Writing, I mean…’
Bam!Another punch. And this was territory he really, really didn’t want to cover. Especially not with her.
‘Gabi said…’ She paused, then continued nervously. ‘Gabi said something about an accident.’
Brody made a sharp intake of breath.
‘Was that how she… you know… died?’
Brody’s voice was barely a croak when he replied. ‘Who?’
‘Your wife.’
As much as he didn’t want to tell her the truth, he’d heard what she’d said about secrets. He also couldn’t lie to her about this, not now she’d asked him directly. ‘My wife isn’t dead,’ he said slowly. ‘We’re divorced.’
‘Oh,’ Anna said loudly and then again more softly. ‘Then who…?’
Brody’s heart thudded.
When she spoke again, she sounded confused, maybe even a little suspicious. ‘I’m not making it up, am I? You did say you’d lost someone too?’
Brody walked over to the other side of the room to stare out of the blackened window. He couldn’t even see the silhouette of the ragged trees that lined his boundary. Darkness began to seep through the panes, filling him. ‘I did.’
There was a moment of pure silence, both where he stood in his study but also at the other end of the line.
Anna whispered, ‘Who?’
‘I…’
The wave hammered down on him. Without warning and without mercy. No clues it had been looming. No tingling fingers, no tight chest.God. Nine years.He thought he’d outrun it to a certain extent, but here was proof to the contrary: the pain was still as fresh and raw as it had been that day almost a decade ago.
