Brody recoiled from her words as he would from a punch. ‘Uh…’ was all he managed to say. He hadn’t been expecting that. She’d hardly mentioned the guy in the last couple of months; he’d been lulled into a false sense of security.
Her voice wavered. ‘You don’t think it’s a good idea?’
No, he bloody well didn’t think it was a good idea! But he wasn’t going to tell Anna that, he realized almost instantly. How could he? Why would he? What was he going to say: give Mr Slick the elbow and have dinner with me instead? Especially with everything he’d just been about to reveal to her.
‘Brody…?’
She was waiting for his answer, yet he couldn’t say what he wanted to say. He didn’t need a million reasons why he couldn’t ask her to dinner. Five were enough.
Firstly, they lived hundreds of miles apart. Secondly and thirdly, he didn’t know her full name or her address, but those were tiny hurdles compared to the fourth reason: even if he knew these things, it wouldn’t do him any good. What was he going to do?Travel to London on a packed train, meet her in a café or a swish restaurant? How exactly would that go?
And if that wasn’t enough, the last reason knocked the rest down like a bowling ball hitting wooden pins. He’d be a ball and chain around this amazing woman’s leg. Instead of letting her reach her full potential, he’d drag her back into the shadowy valley of guilt and grief with him, back into everything she was escaping from. He couldn’t do that to her.
He cleared his throat and answered her. ‘No.’
‘No, you don’t think I should ask him?’
‘I meant, “No, it’s not a bad idea”.’ He paused briefly, caught off guard by the tightening in his chest. ‘I think you should ask him. Go for it.’
He could tell a smile was blooming on her face as she exhaled softly. It only made the crushing sensation around his ribcage worse.
‘Okay, then,’ she said, sounding more certain. Sounding happy.
Brody wanted to punch something.
‘I’ll tell you how it goes – if I work up the courage!’ she added.
He kicked an exposed root with his boot, then closed his eyes and let his head fall back. ‘You do that.’
Chapter Thirty
ANNA SAT AT the table of a nice little Italian restaurant, knotting and unknotting a thick linen napkin as she watched the large clock behind the bar. She’d got here deliberately early, knowing she’d need some time to centre herself before Jeremy arrived. Not for the first time that evening, she made herself breathe out slowly.
La Cucina wasn’t in the town centre. That had felt too public – which was ridiculous, seeing as a restaurant, by definition, is a public space – so she’d chosen a small, family-run establishment in the middle of a little parade of shops in a residential area.
And here she was, ready for her first ‘first date’ in well over a decade. It all felt very strange. Anna glanced at the clock again. Ten minutes.
The waiter approached. ‘Is there anything else you would like, madam? An aperitif? Some olives for the table?’
‘No. No, thank you,’ Anna replied, so he busied himself straightening the cutlery and filling her glass with water, even though it didn’t need topping up. He’d been like this since the moment she stepped in the door, always bustling, fussing over little details. It was as if someone had set him on a gentle mode of fast-forward.She supposed he thought it made him appear attentive and efficient but, frankly, he was starting to tire her out. It made her jitters twice as bad.
She was on the verge of ordering a cocktail, just to make him go away, when her phone buzzed. She fished it out of her handbag, and when she opened up her messages, she saw the text was from Gabi.
Good luck!!! xxxx, it said with a row of hearts and flowers and champagne glass emojis following in procession afterwards.
Another one popped up as she was reading:Just relax.
Easier said than done,thought Anna.
Gabi finished off in a manner that was so typically Gabi that Anna had to smile, even while her heart galloped:And don’t forget to kiss him at the end of the night! (That’s an order!)
Anna closed her eyes and did the long, slow breathing out thing. Oh, Lord. She couldn’t eventhinkabout that. Dealing with the beginning of the night was hard enough.
And as if fate knew her level of jitteriness was maxed out, Jeremy chose that moment to walk through the door. Anna resisted the urge to slide under the table and hide, but instead stood and smiled as he walked towards her. He always looked good, but he looked particularly handsome tonight, in a nice shirt and jeans. Thankfully, Jeremy’s effortless, easygoing charm papered over the cracks of her nervousness, and by the time the waiter had come to take their orders and had retreated again, she was feeling on much more of an even keel.
Jeremy took a sip of his wine and sat back in his chair, looking at Anna with a thoughtful expression. ‘I must admit, I was surprised when you called.’
Anna laughed nervously. ‘Me too.’
