Lunch continued as countless other lunches before it had, with the polite passing of covered vegetable dishes, the obligatory compliments to the cook and exclamations on how crispy the roast potatoes were. Richard, as always, filling a moment of silence with, ‘Well, this is keeping us all quiet!’ as he grinned broadly around the table. They all knew which parts they were supposed to play, which lines were theirs. In some ways, this made it easier. Anna discovered she could park the irritation she’d been feeling on the drive there and just skate over the top of it.
As Teresa passed her the custard jug for dessert, Gayle lightly coughed. ‘Is that okay with you too, Anna?’
Anna looked at Gayle, the jug warm in her hands. She must have drifted off and missed something. And she obviously hadn’t heard Gayle correctly. For a moment, it had very much sounded as if her mother-in-law had asked her opinion on something.
‘Um… Could you run that past me again?’ Gayle was not looking impressed. ‘Sorry… Got distracted by your yummy-looking apple pie.’
Gayle gave her a curt nod, mollified, and carried on. ‘It’s been three years now,’ she said, keeping direct eye contact with Anna, just to make sure she continued to pay attention. ‘And our regular family lunches have been lovely, but I feel that it’s time to have them once a month rather than every fortnight.’
Everyone else looked at Anna, waiting for her response. Was this a trick question? Was there some horrible catch she hadn’t spotted? Changing Sunday lunches to once a month felt like being let out on parole early. There was only one possible response. ‘That’s fine by me.’
‘Since this is the third Sunday of the month,’ Gayle said, ‘why don’t we just continue in that pattern?’
Scott pulled out his phone to look at his calendar. ‘So the next one will be in May, on the…’
‘On the sixteenth,’ Gayle finished for him. ‘And June’s really should be on the twentieth, but Richard and I wanted to talk to you all about that.’
The atmosphere grew solemn. Anna blobbed a bit of custard on her pie and placed the jug back on the table. No one else was picking up their forks and spoons, so she followed suit, and hoped it all wouldn’t be cold before Gayle had finished.
‘It would have been Spencer’s thirty-fifth birthday on the twenty-eighth, so I propose we move June’s lunch to the following Sunday, but instead of having it here, we’ll go out – somewhere Spencer liked to eat.’
‘What was the name of that restaurant near you, Anna?’ Richard asked. ‘The very smart Indian place we went to for his thirtieth?’
‘The Cinnamon Café,’ Anna replied. ‘But the prices are more upmarket gastro pub than cheap and cheerful local takeaway.’
Richard waved her concerns away with a brush of his hand. ‘Don’t worry about that,’ he said, smiling. ‘Gayle and I would like to treat you all.’
There were murmurs of thanks from around the table, and Anna breathed a sigh of relief.Last year Gayle had insisted on doing a ‘nice’ roast, incorporating all of Spencer’s favourites, the crowning glory of the menu being Spencer’s favourite black cherry cheesecake. Yuck. He’d always asked for it when they went around to his parents because Anna refused to serve it at her dinner table. Even the smell of all that fake cherry flavouring made her want to gag. Stifling the urge to vomit definitely wasn’t the way she most wanted to remember her husband.
And since the suggestion was to meet up the day before his birthday, it meant Anna would have the actual day to herself. Her spirits lifted. What about going back to Camber Sands? She could wander around the way she’d wanted to. She might even stay a night or two at a bed and breakfast.
Her luck continued after dinner. When Gayle reached for the pale blue photo album that Anna recognized as the one containing Spencer’s baby pictures, Richard peered around the edge of his Sunday paper and said, ‘Didn’t we look at that one last time?’
Gayle’s fingertips were already on the spine of the album, but as she hesitated, Richard rose and chose a volume from the other end of the shelf. A wedding album. Anna’s heart did a little leap. ‘How about this one?’ he said, handing it to Gayle, then returned to his paper, giving Anna a treasonous wink as he passed her. Anna could have kissed him.
Gayle didn’t move for a moment, but then she turned and came to join Anna on the sofa, laying the album down on the glass and wood coffee table as they always did, then opened the cover.
The first group of pictures were of Anna on her own and with her bridesmaids,but Gayle flipped through that section of the album swiftly until she found the photos of Spencer and his best man. She took a long time looking at each shot, drinking it in, and then she carried on to those taken after the ceremony. She paused at one of Anna’s favourites: a close-up of both of them, so similar to many others taken that day, except that Spencer had an extra twinkle in his eyes and one corner of his mouth lifted slightly in mischief. Gayle let out a little sigh. ‘He looks so handsome, doesn’t he?’ she said, almost reverently.
‘Yes,’ Anna replied. He really did. Tears threatened, but she blinked rapidly, refusing to allow them to form.
She glanced across at Gayle and, seeing a similar sheen in her eyes, debated whether to reach out and touch the other woman’s arm, but she must have dithered too long, because Gayle seemed to inwardly shake herself, regaining her composure. She turned the page, and the moment was gone.
‘I think it’s time for a cup of tea,’ Gayle said when they’d finished. She rose to replace the album on the shelf. ‘Would anyone else like one?’
Anna slumped onto the sofa and let out a long sigh once Gayle had swept from the room. Richard rustled his paper and lowered the top edge so he could look at Anna. ‘You mustn’t mind her,’ he said in a low voice. ‘She doesn’t mean to be so… you know.’
Anna nodded. This was about as eloquent as Richard got.
‘She found the anniversary very hard,’ he added. ‘You wouldn’t know it to look at her, and she’d deny it if you asked, but she’s struggling.’
Anna stood up, went over to Richard, and gave him a hug.They stayed like that for a few seconds, him reaching up with his paper on his lap, her bending down over him, and then he patted her on the back, and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
She exhaled as she stood up again.Come on, Anna. Stop being so petty. Yes, she’s a bit of a nightmare, but it’s not because she hates you. She’s hurting. Just like you are.
Anna was pretty sure she was never going to get an apology from Gayle for the ashes, but maybe she could broker a truce, allowing the current chilly awkwardness to defrost a little. Rather than sitting back down, she went into the kitchen to see if she could be of any help.
When she entered, Gayle was standing with her arms braced on the counter, looking out of the window. There were no cups and saucers out, and the kettle was silent, no steam wafting up from its spout. Gayle turned, looking mildly surprised to see her. Anna thought her mother-in-law looked as if she’d aged ten years during the walk down the hall to the kitchen.
